Ugly John: the f#¢*-r rears his head

Ugh! 
Just a few hours after posting about recognizing the authority of Jesus and loving our neighbors -- I blew it. From the dungeon of my being Ugly John rose up to make an appearance and I kind of lost my cool. With it went my reputation for generally keeping my cool at the shelter.
Sacrebleu!

It has been quite some time since Ugly John made it out of the dungeon. Maybe I got a little too complacent about watching over him. It is time to reinforce the manacles and double lock the cell door. I've been a little careless with the personal meditation and grounding lately. That, combined with the exposure to a dependent population, is a pretty volatile situation. I should have been better.

Maybe I'll brave the cold this weekend and spend some time on the deck with a good cigar. It has been too long. Although the weekend will be cool, Monday and Tuesday should offer some near 60 (15c) degree temps for a more enjoyable smoke and still be in plenty of time before my next overnight exposure.
Looking back, it was still pretty much just another night at the shelter. I'm not sure what the trigger really was. Maybe I'm just getting too old (or cynical) for this shit. 
Nah, that's just a BS excuse for bad behavior.
I need to be better.

Sorry for the rant.
Just needed a therapeutic place to vent.

John