Milestones and What Really Matters

Yesterday I reached a milestone here on Out of My Hat -- 1 million views!
I'm not too overly excited about it because I know that a large percentage are bot hits that have keyed on keywords or topics -- like Charlie Kirk or politics.
I've already had twice as many hits this month as I had for all of last month.

I suppose I could post more political or controversial content and keep a steady stream of high hit days. Then I could monetize my blog and allow ads to supplement my retirement. I could start adding video and make Out of My Hat more of a vlog or blog/vlog combo. 
To be honest, I have considered doing the advertising thing once or twice over the past almost 20 years, but didn't want the added pressure to write or to choose more controversial topics. I prefer to keep it a place for me to just write and share thoughts. I've had a few angry responses over the years, even got called in to the church office over a post that somebody didn't like -- and I wasn't even on staff or holding any kind of church position!

I don't mind writing controversial stuff and I don't really care if everybody agrees with me or not. Having said that, I would rather have people feel good about reading Out of My Hat and come back often for that feeling or maybe to learn something than to be angry or come back to reinforce their own prejudice and bias.

If we have learned anything from either the mainstream media or from social media (or politics) it is that causing division and spreading hatred sells way more than sharing good news and spreading kindness and love. It also appears to be way easier to get people to hate the people you hate than to love the people you love.  
Why is that?
Is it so important for us to feel more important, more powerful, or just better than somebody else?
Are we that insecure with ourselves and who we are that we need to tear other people down?
Why are we so willing to use technology to effectively spread hatred to build our tribes than to use love to enhance our communities?

I understand that it is a part of our natural instinct to be distrustful of things and people that we don't understand. But we can overcome those ancient survival skills and be better. Humanity should be better. We don't need to remain in our small competing tribes and factions. We can learn from one another and be better together. 
Violence is the least educated or least intellectual way to address our differences. It is the way of tyrants and bullies. We are better than that.

I have a few people-ing events this week -- dinner with a small group of friends tomorrow, barchurch on Thursday, and an afternoon of cigars, conversation and a sip or two of bourbon with a friend on Friday. I'll use Saturday as a recharging day and then Sunday is our church community service day followed by a celebratory party. 

Community is hard for me.
I think I'd be better as a hermit.

John

What if ... This is Heaven?

What have you learned about life?
I know that we're all still working things out, but are there things that you've already concluded that these things are true and we need to accept it as true?
What are the questions you struggle with today?

Even as I struggle with an aging physical body, I am learning that life is much more than the physical world. But as I grow in the spiritual realm, I am learning how taking care of the natural (physical) world is becoming more important. The daily awareness that we live in both worlds is both exhilarating and a little frightening -- not frightening in a scary way, just frightening in a new perspective sort of way.

For most of my life I've kept the two worlds compartmentalized. When dealing with the spiritual world, it was generally in an afterlife kind of way -- e.g. What happens when you die?
Consequences of decisions in the physical world seem to manifest themselves in rather predictable, physical ways, but we often seem to ignore or remain unaware of the potential consequences of spiritual decisions and non-decisions. When we think of those consequences as post-life, we can only guess what they might be. Religious leaders seem to have an inside track on post-life consequences and often use fear as a motivator to inspire some sort of current physical behavior or response.
Apparently good physical behavior = spiritual reward.

What if it isn't about reward?
What if God isn't dangling a carrot (or a crown) for us?
What if we already possess a spiritual crown? (We are created in the image of God, right?)
What if becoming more aware of God, our own spiritual being, and the other spiritual beings around us is enough to change our physical behavior?
Spiritual reward (awareness) = good physical behavior.

What if ... ?

What if when Jesus said, "The kingdom of heaven is at hand," he meant that we can experience heaven right now?
What if we don't have to die to experience heaven?
What if it is possible to live in the physical world and the spiritual world of heaven at the same time?

What if Jesus has accomplished everything necessary for us to have heaven and the only thing that is keeping us from experiencing heaven right now is our lack of awareness of being in the presence of God?
What if the very moment that we begin to see God in the people and in the world around us is the moment we experience salvation and become aware that this is heaven; that the kingdom of heaven is here?

What if ... ?

John

2020 Vision

Not as in 20/20 vision, but as in "What will I see in 2020?"

Some time ago I wrote that my vision had improved as I've gotten older. Because of the people I've been exposed to over the past year, I'm also starting to see better.

I'm seeing people that were once invisible to me.
I'm seeing injustices that went unnoticed by me.
I'm seeing my own privilege where I once took it for granted.
I'm seeing that most people don't really expect more than to be treated with kindness.
I'm seeing that for some people, kindness is a way of life
...and for some, it is not.
I'm seeing more of what was always right in front of me.

What will you see in 2020?

John <><

Everything Belongs

I finally finished Richard Rohr's book, Everything Belongs.
It is a book on contemplative prayer and an outlook on life that brings more focus on our spiritual being than on the physical being and physical world in which we live.

I've become somewhat contemplative as I've aged, and perhaps have always been more contemplative than most. I enjoyed the book but did get bogged down a couple of times and had to kind of push through some parts. Although I found Fr. Rohr's wisdom and insights interesting, perhaps it was just writing style or voice (yes, book have a voice) that seemed uncomfortable. I don't think that it was the challenge to self-examine or be contemplative since I'm pretty open to those ideas. In the end I think that his wisdom is worthy of reading another of his books so I'll be looking into that.

I big part of my own spiritual evolution has been in examining what I truly believe and exactly what or whom I worship. In the end, I think that modern day, evangelical Christians tend to worship their religion as much or more than they worship the God of their religion. As I began to move more towards relationships with others because of the love of God, I began to get a lot of resistance and cautionary warnings from well meaning but misguided Christian friends. Their religion was more important than my connecting with certain people to share God's love. The rules of religion tend to separate us from others rather than helping us to build loving relationships with others.

Many years ago, a fellow NATCA (National Air Traffic Controller's Association) committee member and atheist started to ask me a question with this qualifier -- "Hey, you're a religious guy..."
I interrupted him and said, "I am not!"
He looked at me for a moment and said, "You're right. You are not, but I'm not sure how else to describe you."
Even my evangelical pastor friends have had difficulty understanding me. One expressed that I am quite the conundrum, other calling me an enigma.
I don't think I'm that difficult to understand. I'm just a free spirit that is trying to figure out my place in life and working on following Jesus without the man-made rules of religion.

I get that letting go of a lifetime of religion can be difficult. It could be that I never really had that tight of a grip on it to begin with. I don't expect that I'm ever going to let go of God and I have every confidence that God isn't letting go of me. But I do think that we all need to examine what we have been taught and what we believe to be true.
Mark Twain said, "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."

It is said that foolish and closed-minded people will believe what they believe and dismiss any evidence contrary to their beliefs. People that desire to learn will critically examine their beliefs and be willing to change their mind should evidence dictate that a change is necessary. I would hope that I am able to learn more about God than what I learned as a child and young adult. I would hope that my understanding of God and my relationship with God is dynamic and evolving. If what you believe about God hasn't grown or changed as you have grown and changed, then you have a mighty small god.

As I have become more contemplative about life, death, God, and my place in all of this, I think that perhaps life itself is a type of koan. It isn't a problem to be solved nor a game to be won. It is simply a life to be experienced and shared with those that experience it with us. We learn from the suffering. We grow stronger from the pain. We love through the grief. And we remember all of the lessons along the way.

It's been a few years since I read Don Miller's Blue Like Jazz. I'm thinking I might reread it. Or maybe Searching for God Knows What.
Maybe I'll give my brain a break and read a novel. I've got several on my Kindle app.

What are you reading?
Any recommendations for my next Rohr book?

John <><

Finding Joy in the Moment

I'm enjoying my morning coffee and contemplating life before going out for my daily walk  --
  Not life in the past (There are lessons to be learned from the past, but not right now.)
  Not life in the future (There are plans for the future, but there is no promise of tomorrow.)
I'm just thinking about life right now; in this very moment.
And life is good.

I am learning that we don't always get to live the life we once dreamed of. I'm not saying that you should give up on your dreams. I'm just saying that slowing down enough to enjoy the moment is every bit as important as pursuing tomorrow. It is easy to find peace and joy in the quiet of the morning. I have good coffee (an Ethiopian blend), a comfortable home, laptop and high speed internet, and good health.
It isn't difficult to find joy while out walking, but I have to admit that it takes a little more effort. My walks are pretty purposeful. I don't choose a scenic route or stop to enjoy butterflies and flowers along the way. My walk is to complete the task of walking. But even so, there is joy in the act of completing the task, of progressing towards better health, of feeling a connection to the world around me.

The thing is, as I observe people and look at myself, I see that we are often so focused on doing, striving for something, completing a task, reaching a destination, etc., that we end our days without having experienced a moment of true peace and joy. I know that I have a great advantage in being retired. I have plenty of time to contemplate life and enjoy the moment.

But you have time, too.
Stop. Take just three minutes.
Breathe deeply.
Listen as your heart rate slows.
Gradually slow your breathing.
Feel your body come to rest.
Wait.
Don't rush it.
Let yourself feel the physical part of peace first.
Enjoy the moment.
Love yourself.

Contemplative meditation is a weird thing. It takes lots of practice. Three minutes may seem like a long time at first. Many say that it takes twenty minutes to move beyond this first stage into a more serene and beneficial time of meditation. I've found that a daily practice of even a few minutes helps to find joy in even the most mundane tasks. Chores like mowing the lawn become less of a job and more of a joy when I look at it as taking care of something that I value.
I can somehow find peace in living in the Ozarks even though I had hoped to retire to a Mexican beach. I can live without much of what I desire. I can live without much of what I have. I am learning gratitude for the many blessings I enjoy.

Thank you for sharing a few moments of your day with me.
I wish you a peaceful and joyful moment in your day.

John <><

Zen

I'll admit that I know little about Zen and the practice of Zen meditation. However, it has long been a personal belief that all living things produce an energy and energy frequency, and we can (with practice) connect our energies. I think I have felt this even before Star Wars brought the idea of The Force to the teen version of myself.

I have never had a meditation teacher, nor have I ever had a regular practice of meditation. I have often used meditation practices to quiet my mind to sleep, to relax, or to release stress. I am not certain where that type of thinking came from, nor am I certain of how long I've been quietly using meditation as a way of emptying my mind and allowing my spirit to freely take control. (I'm not sure that's the best way to describe it, but it's the best I have at this point.)

I have never consciously studied or followed the teachings of Buddha and it has been nearly forty years since I read a book on the life of Siddhartha Gautama. (At the time I started reading it, I did not know that this was The Buddha.) Over the years, I have read books on other belief systems and world religions. Although many of them predate Jesus, most of them are very much in line with the teachings of Jesus when it comes to living life in harmony with others.

One thing that I've noticed is that evangelical Christians seem far more interested in the afterlife and often seem to miss the joy of the present moment. If we follow the voice of Jesus (John 10), I believe that the good life he promises isn't limited to the afterlife, but also includes a present life of love, peace, and joy.
I know that many of my evangelical friends will worry that I think that the teachings of eastern religions are compatible with the teachings of Jesus (or the other way around since they predate Jesus). You need not worry about me. The truth is -- I worry that you are so concerned with the afterlife that you are missing out on the great joy that God has for you to enjoy this very day!

I urge you to take the time to find God today. It doesn't require a great journey or pilgrimage.
He is in you!
Find a place without distractions. Leave your phone in another room or turn it off. Be aware of your breathing. Feel your heart beat. Then let it all go and listen for God. If you get distracted, if other thoughts creep into your head, come back to your breathing, come back to your heartbeat. Letting go takes practice. If you find it difficult to recognize the voice of the Good Shepherd, it might be because you've never really taken the time to listen. Maybe there has always been too much noise in your head. 

Be still.
Find quiet.
Feel love.
Know peace.

John <><

Final Words

I watched a TED Talk where the speaker posed the question, "With how many people that you know have you already had your final conversation?"

Of course, there are people that have died and it could be that your final conversation with them was very emotional and intense. There are those people that enter into our lives for a short season (or maybe for a long season), but that season has passed and they will no longer be a part of our journey. And there are people that we choose to no longer contact or to engage in any way.

But what about all of the others?
What about the people that are still living and we know/see/like/love/etc, but we have somehow just grown apart and moved on without them? What about the people with which we would like to sit down and have one more conversation -- to catch up on their lives, to make amends, to tell them they are loved, to hear their voice, or to sense their presence?

Are we satisfied to have left all of those people without one more conversation?
Will they even remember us or the last conversation we had?
Is that important? ...to us? to them? to anyone?

Hmmm...?

John <><

What's in your cup?

Recently I read a modern day version of an old story. I remember it as an old man and his grandson watching people in the marketplace. They observe a man leaving a shop with a cup of tea in his hands. He is bumped by another person and spills some of his tea.
The old man asks the grandson, "Why did the man spill his tea?"
The boy replied, "Because the person bumped into him."
"No," replied the grandfather. "He spilled tea because that's what he was carrying in his cup. If he had water in the cup, he would have spilled water."

The lesson is that we are always going to experience bumps along the way. What spills out is what we carry with us. If we carry anger, then we will respond with anger. If we hold on to frustration, then frustration is what will spill out.
We've probably all heard the saying that hurting people hurt people. Maybe it doesn't have to be that way.
What if we take the time and make the effort to fill our cups with love and joy?
What if we are filled with peace?
What if we refuse to carry anger, fear and hatred?
How would our response to life's sudden bumps change?

I wish that I could tell you that it's going to be easy, but today's life can be full of frustration and anger. We need to find a way to set that aside so that we can react to life's bumps with kindness and love.

What's in your cup?

John <><

Faces; Is anyone whom they seem to be?

I have mentioned (on many occasions) that I am a slow learner.

Take faces, for example.
We see faces and we identify people by the distinct features of their faces and how they look.
Sometimes, faces can tell us how people feel -- happy (smiling), sad (crying), angry (tense and red) -- but some people tend to hide emotions better than others. We wear our masks like a second skin and show ourselves to be what we think people want or expect us to be. Often times, we are nothing like the person we exhibit to others.

I guess that's okay.
I don't need to share my problems with everyone and I'm not really interested in knowing everyone's problems. But we all need people that we can be honest with.

As I've gotten older (ugh! I hate that phrase), I've started to see through the masks a little more often and realize that most of us are hiding something. Many have hurts and struggles that nobody else knows about -- not even the people closest to them.

Many years ago, I received a call early on a Sunday morning. It was a young man from my Sunday school class telling me that his wife was leaving him.
They were in church every Sunday. Their faces and dispositions didn't show any marital strife to the casual observer. They appeared to be like everyone else.
But I had to ask myself, "How did I miss this?"

The masks!
At some point it occurred to me -- they appeared to be like everyone else!
Was everyone wearing a mask and hiding their hurts?
Isn't church supposed to be a place where we can be free of judgment and open about our struggles?
How is it that church people feel alone, suffer alone, and add loneliness to their lists of hurts?

I had a recent conversation with a young man that spoke about the false relationships found in churches. One of his complaints about churches was that people seem to care, but you know that they really don't.
Hmmm...

It has been said (and usually attributed to Plato), "Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

A friend recently told me that I was the only one on a ministry team that ever called to ask, "How can I pray for you?"
I think I need to do that more often and for more people.
In life's battles, people need to know there are others that will stand with them for a while; that they are not alone. They need to know that there is a place of rest; a sanctuary -- even if only for a moment. And they don't have to share the details of their journey if they don't want to. I just want them to know they are not alone -- You are not alone.

My contact info is available.
You can send me a message via comment. I moderate comments so just mark it as personal or mention that you don't want it posted. I know I'm just a guy at a keyboard in a virtual world, but even so -- You are not alone!

John <><

Marching On

March comes to an end and time moves on.

I'll be heading out for a 400+ mile trip on the motorcycle so it will be a day without noise.
I'll be able to catch up on some social media feeds on my occasional stops if I choose to, but for the most part it will be nothing but the sound of wind. I don't have a radio, so I won't be listening to any news throughout the day. It'll be nice.

I do have a blue tooth headset in my helmet and may listen to a little music for part of the day.
At some point, I'll probably add a charging port to my motorcycle. If I'm going to be taking all day rides and using my blue tooth to listen to music from my phone, I'll probably need it.
I haven't ridden for the past week, so I am really looking forward to the ride.

*****

I'll have plenty of time for thinking on the road today, but I have already been doing some reflecting on the month as it comes to an end.

On the physical front I decided that I really need to get back to regular exercise and have started walking again. Yesterday was the first day that I didn't get a good walk. It was raining or drizzling all day and so I only managed less than a mile. It was the first day of spring that I didn't make the 10,000 step goal. I'll try to get the steps in today by taking a few walking breaks along the way.
I've been eating better but still have a ways to go to re-establish healthy eating as a lifestyle.

Spiritually I am always in a struggle.
I know that probably sounds weird coming from an evangelist, but it is true.
Evangelism conferences and exposure to people that are working hard for the kingdom often make me realize how little I do that has positive impact on the lives of others. Some people are working very hard to show the love of God to people in need while I am content to stay fairly isolated from others. It is a difficult thing to show love while avoiding people.
Hmmm...something for me to think about.

On other personal assessments, I think that I might be misrepresenting myself to others.
Oh we all do it. We put our best face on when we go out and try our best not to be a complete butt-head to others, but as much as I try to be pretty transparent about my faults, some people still give me way more credit for being a decent person than I deserve.
In doing a little spring cleaning, I re-read some of the comments written on my retirement photo from SGF. I'm not sure if I should feel good about having fooled so many people about being a good guy or humbled by their assessments of the man they believe me to be. I remember a conversation I had before I retired when a coworker commented that I was a good person. I told her that she has no idea how hard I have to work to be that person. Somehow, I don't think that a good person would have to work this hard every single day.
If you really want to know the truth, check with my wife and kids. They've seen the ugly side, perhaps far too often.

All-in-all, I'm not sure what I'll do with these assessments.
I know that I'll keep up with the health improvements -- at least for a little while.
I'm not real sure about the ministry assessments. I guess I should be more purposeful about sharing God's love for people. I'm just not sure of how I will do that.
As for the real me -- geez, I don't think I want people to know that guy. I guess I'll just keep working on being a little bit better so that I can eventually remove the mask and there won't be much difference between the person you see and the person I really am. Dang, that's going to be a lot of work!

But time marches on...

Any monthly assessment from you, my readers?
Leave it in the comments if you care to.

John <><

No Place For a Culture of Hatred

A few of you have followed Out of My Hat for some time; some from the very beginning. Long time followers have seen this blog go from sometimes blatant and belligerent to the much less controversial and more thoughtful and reflective blog that it is today.

I may continue to be less controversial than in the distant past, but there are some things that shouldn't even be controversial -- they are just wrong and the people that continue to promote them are being pretty narrow minded and need to understand that there is no place in a multi-cultural civilization for such points of view.

I often lack to eloquence to state things in a way to help people understand that their point of view is poorly defended and often misrepresented as something it is not. Recently, I read an article that very clearly states why it is time for the South to put away the Confederate flag.

As is often the case, when we remove ourselves from the situation and look at it from a different perspective we can see ... well, from a different perspective. The writer (an air traffic controller) tells us his story, a story of a different symbol of oppression and his misunderstanding of its representation. In his story, perhaps we can see how powerfully the Confederate flag represents what we (United States citizens) are not.

It is reprinted here with his permission.

A statement on the power of a flag.... by Mark Rossmore

I'd like to start off by saying that I'm half-Cuban. Before Fidel Castro took over Cuba, my grandparents lived a good life there. From the pictures and stories my various family members told, they were pretty well off. It wasn't to last. My mother and her parents escaped Castro's communist revolution just as it was taking hold, leaving almost everything behind.

Fast forward a few decades to the 90's. The USSR’s history. My grandfather has passed away. My grandmother's now living with my parents and I in Miami. As a teenager, I've become a big fan of history, especially Cold War military history, and like collecting Soviet artifacts. I'm not a communist, of course, but I always liked the USSR's propaganda art. They were masters at it.

So, a family friend visits Moscow and brings back for me a large Soviet flag. Bright red. Hammer and sickle. You know the one. I'm excited and grateful. It's like a holy grail for me. I fully intend to hang it in my bedroom, once I clear some posters off the walls.

I’m sure many people associate their own grandmothers with warm hugs and love. Not me. In her classic, blunt fashion, my grandmother takes one look at this flag and snarls, "I would wipe my ass with that thing."

At the time, I really couldn’t grasp her bitterness. It was just a piece of cloth representing a now-dead regime. A relic. A piece of history.

It took me some time to understand why she was so hateful of it. Because of cruel people who believed in the ideals represented by that flag, she had to abandon everything. She and her husband had to flee for their lives to protect themselves, protect the future of their eight year old daughter—my mother. Her sisters, nieces, and nephews—all of them—also had leave it all behind and make their way as refugees, strangers in a strange land. All the others that weren’t lucky enough to get on a plane or a ship suffered under the ideals of that flag, and have suffered for well over half a century now.

Teenage me isn’t quite getting that. I leave the flag folded up, next to our couch in the living room. A day or so later, I go get it, to hang it up. It’s gone.

I can only assume now that she threw it out. Knowing my grandmother, it’s quite possible she followed through with her promise before doing so. I don’t know.

Now, in the present day, I understand how much symbols like these mean.

It is for this reason that I don’t understand the need or the desire to fly the Confederate battle flag, much less make it a part of various states’ official flags. I see it everywhere here in the South. Those who say the flag stands for “state’s rights”, “heritage”, or “southern pride”—and not for the defense of slavery—must first read the Confederate Articles of Secession. The first paragraph of Georgia’s document reads as follows: “The people of Georgia having dissolved their political connection with the Government of the United States of America, present to their confederates and the world the causes which have led to the separation. For the last ten years we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slave-holding confederate States with reference to the subject of African slavery.” Throughout it, it differentiates the opposing parties as “non-slave-holding” and “slave-holding”.

That flag represents that statement, and this sentiment: that one race of individuals is automatically inferior to another. That flag represents the oppression and humiliation of millions of people whose descendants walk our streets every day. It represents laws that would have made my own marriage illegal, and branded my daughter a second class citizen.

The flag is not like an artifact from the Roman Empire, representing battles won and lost thousands of years ago. The last Confederate Civil War veteran died in 1951, and the last Union veteran died in ’56, two years after Brown vs. Board of Education. There are plenty of people alive today who heard these people speak of their experiences firsthand, who heard firsthand accounts of the horrors of that war and the conditions faced by the slaves.

Those who flew the flag may have lost the war, but their battle continued long after the guns fell silent. Through insidious action like Jim Crow laws and segregation, they succeeded in keeping their boot on the Black people. Even decades after MLK and the Civil Rights movement, the damage done by those laws and mindsets persists.

Perhaps the flag’s ubiquitous presence is the problem. Of course, the flag’s associated with the fringe groups, the KKK and their ilk, but that’s not the issue. Those groups know damn well what it stands for. It’s the people who blithely display it on bumper stickers, t-shirts, bikinis, and license plates that are the problem. That is their right to do so, of course, granted by the First Amendment. It’s so common, so culturally accepted—“ southern pride” again—that its history gets diluted and forgotten, and becomes just a part of the wallpaper of life.

Think about this: Clementa C. Pinckney, the state senator who died in that church this week, went to work each day beneath the shadow of that flag. That flag idealized a short-lived country created largely for the purpose of protecting its wealthy landowners’ right to buy, sell, and treat people of his race just like cattle. The man who shot this senator proudly brandished that flag alongside those of Rhodesia and South Africa, both countries synonymous with the subjugation of Africans. That is no accident.

And yet, he was forced to walk beneath it. He had no choice. By law, the flag was mandated to fly forever at full mast, padlocked in position.

Several official state flags contain this flag. Mississippi’s contains the whole thing. Alabama’s is modeled after it. Georgia’s used to contain the flag, until 2001, when the state adopted a design that mirrors—get this—the first flag of the Confederacy.

We as a people have a choice. Do we allow states and other governing bodies to continue legitimizing this symbol of our country’s darkest aspects and—by extension—legitimizing the ideas behind it? Or, do we bring it down, move on, and try to learn from and let go of the awful past it represents?

I know where I stand. That flag needs to come down.

Whenever it does, if someone wanted to wipe their ass with it, I’d say that’s fair use of the freedom of speech.

Live well,

John <><

Winter to Spring; Despair to Hope

It somehow seems appropriate that the last day of winter is another overcast and dreary day here in the Ozarks.
Tomorrow, the first full day of spring will be partly sunny and warmer temperatures, but today is very representative of the gloom of winter.

Even while time passes and the sun makes its way into the northern hemisphere, for many people the gloom of winter will continue. For some reason, an awareness of the many people that are suffering from some kind of depression has come to me. I'm not sure why that is; only that it is.

Statistically, a significant number of the people that we relate to every day are clinically depressed. Most of them are undiagnosed and therefore untreated. I'm not sure what this says about our society today. I only know that there are far too many people living life under a dark and dreary cloud.

I wonder if this has always been the case and we are just getting better at recognizing and diagnosing depression, or if the stresses of life and our abilities to deal with them have grown at disproportionate rates.

There is no doubt that life can be stressful. And I think that the rules of competition have changed greatly as the gap between the haves and the have nots continues to grow. I also think that social rules have changed greatly with the advances in technology, perhaps at a rate that exceeds our ability to adapt. We are social creatures, but our social communities have less defined boundaries. We are, in many ways, less sure of who we can trust and more isolated than ever before. We have the world at our fingertips and yet we are alone. We are isolated and yet exposed.

Although we would often like to disconnect from the grand network, we also need it for the information and resources that it provides. We have come too far to go back and yet we are unsure if we are heading in the right direction. We move forward cautiously and with a certain amount of fear of the unknown.

It is my hope that as winter gives way to spring, despair can give way to hope; as the clouds give way to the sun and nature comes to life, we, too, can begin to grow a little.

And we can learn from the change in seasons--the clouds, the rain, the snow, the cold, the death of things are all necessary to bring about the abundant life of spring.

Plants die in the fall. Seeds fall to the ground. Some become food for the birds and other creatures and some are dormant throughout the winter. Snow covers them in the winter, and in the spring they burst forth in new life!

Seasons are for change.
It is the way of things.

Be well, my friends!

John <><

Words Can Hurt...

...Not just the words, but how they are said, too.

I've said it before, I am a slow learner. Although I have managed to temper my tongue on many occasions and am learning that not everything I think has to be verbalized, I still manage to say things that I later regret.

Sometimes it is odd the things that we hear. Often times, we hear things that were never said or read things into what was said that was never meant. I'm learning (slowly) that most misunderstandings can be avoided by keeping my mouth shut.

I'm also learning that most of what people have to say isn't all that important to begin with. If I feel that way about what others have to say, I imagine they probably feel that way about my opinions, too.

Even thought each of us is ultimately responsible for how we feel and how we let other people make us feel, we are also each responsible for the things we say and the potential that our words have to hurt someone. It would be a lot easier if words only hurt like in the GEICO commercial.

Be careful of the things you say today...

John <><

Making Lists

I am not a list maker. I know that there are many people that can only function if they have a list. Some people make lists for everything. I have a supervisor that makes lists. I think the first item on her "To Do" list each day is "make lists".

I won't say that I never use a list. I use a list when I'm packing for a magic show. I even use a list during the show. But that's pretty much the extent of it. I could probably benefit from using a few more lists. I think there is a measure of satisfaction that comes with completing a list.

The only reason I'm thinking about lists this morning is because of an article I read on one of the many blogs I follow. Whether you are a list maker or not, you might like this article. I like the two daily lists that the author talks about here. I'm thinking that I may give list making a whirl and use these lists to get me started.

I have to admit that the first list, the "If I could live today over again I'd..." reminds me of the movie Groundhog Day. You get to live the day over again and right your wrongs as they happen...sort of. I also like the positive aspect of the second list--"The things I get to enjoy today" list.

Even if it was "The things I get to do today" it would have a feeling of anticipation of what the day hold for us. But "The things I get to enjoy today" really makes the events of the coming day something to look forward to experiencing.

How about you?
Are you a list maker?
Wanna try these two lists with me?
Think of the benefits...no more blah Mondays, for one! Now we can make our lists and look forward to getting this week going!

John <><

On Facing Tough Times...

How do you react when faced with adversity?
I read this and copied it from a Facebook post.
It's pretty good. Which are you? The carrot, the egg, or the coffee?

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.
After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. "What's the point,grandmother?"
Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her granddaughter.
"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?
Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?
---AUTHOR UNKNOWN


John <><

Life and Death; Living and Dying; Immortality and Mortality

It's been a very interesting (for lack of a better word) last couple of weeks. It has been a time that keeps bringing to mind the fragility of life, the certainty of death and the question of "What happens next?"

Here's the rundown:

On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, my dad's heart stopped. The pacemaker/defibrillator did its thing and brought him back around after zapping his heart with a jolt of energy. There were some pretty tense moments but the hospital checked everything out, made some adjustments to his meds and sent him on his way with some fears of why the heart stopped and some confidence that the defibrillator would do its thing if needed.

On the Friday after Thanksgiving, the mother of one of my co-workers passed away.
On the following Sunday, a friend called with news that his girlfriend's dad had passed away on Thanksgiving Day and wanted to know if I could do the funeral (that was Friday).
Following Saturday, the dad of one of Aaron's classmates had a very bad heart attack. He has been kept unconscious by meds and lowering of his body temperature and they will start to warm him and revive him in the next few hours.
Also on Saturday, one of our high school students from church was in a bad auto accident. He was okay (other than bump and bruises), but his truck was totaled and there was a fatality in the other vehicle.

It seems as though there has been a lot of death and near death not too far from me in the past two weeks. The Bible says that life is like a vapor; here for a moment and then gone. We never want to think of it as being that uncertain. We make our plans as if we have forever ahead of us and live without any urgency to share our faith, our time, or our love with the people that we encounter daily. We hold our grudges and withhold our forgiveness and never think about carrying those grudges into eternity or having the person pass away before we take the time to say we're sorry or express our forgiveness to them.

I really don't know about two of the three people that have died in the past days. The family of one of them told me that their dad had made a profession of faith in Jesus as Lord and Savior. I know that there are some of my readers that don't believe in life after death. There are others that may believe in life after death but have done nothing to prepare for it. Not wanting to think about death won't keep it from happening. Life has a 100% fatality rate. Death is no respecter of age, wealth or social status. It overcomes all ages, all races, all cultures, all beliefs, all peoples--we all die.

I would encourage each of my readers to consider:
What happens next?
Is there an afterlife?
Is there a heaven?
Is there a hell?
How do I prepare for for this afterlife?

And whether or not you believe in an afterlife:
What has been left unsaid that needs to be said?
What has been unforgiven that needs to be forgiven?
What kindness needs to be done?
What encouragement needs to be shared?
What smile needs to shown?
and How many 'I love yous' need to be told to the people that we love?

If yesterday would have been your last day to live, would you be able to say that you ended life well? Would the people that you love know that they are loved? Would you have been ready to face God and stand in His Judgment?

Yesterday is history.
How will you end today?

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." --Jesus (Jn 14:6)

John <><

Shooting the Messenger

If there is an irritant that is common to the civilized world, it must be car trouble. Since there is never a convenient time for it, and there is seldom a convenient cost for it, it continues to cover the "hate" part of our love-hate relationship with the automobile like a well-worn blanket.

I am in the unenviable position of owning two cars that are high mileage vehicles (one over 200k miles, one just under) that are both in need of some high dollar repairs.  I suppose I could suck it up and assume a car payment and buy a new or newer car rather than pour more money into one of these older vehicles, but finding the fine line where no car payment no longer balances with the cost and aggravation of repairing an older vehicle can be tricky.

This morning I returned to the auto shop to pick up my car after receiving the bad news of what it would cost me to get one of the cars back into shape.  I jokingly asked the service attendant what it was like having a job where you always get to be the bearer of bad news.  He wasn't laughing as he told me that it sucked.  He told me that most people treat him as if it were his fault that their car is in need of repair.  He said many of them get really angry at him.  He also said that very few of them are as nice about it or as understanding as I was.

I felt kind of bad for the guy...and a little ashamed of my fellowman for treating him (and others like him) that way.  I did admit to him that there was a day (fortunately, it's a day long past) that I might have been one of those people.  I know that it is not natural for us to roll over and be submissive when it comes to shelling out the big bucks for auto repairs. I know that we would rather bare our teeth and assume a defensive (or even offensive) posture.  Unfortunately, I find myself completely helpless in these situations and getting mad at the people that can help me never seems to be a good idea.

So tonight I'm sitting here with a cup of hot green tea to soothe my sore throat (from coughing from the crazy allergies in the Midwest air) and trying to figure out my options.  I've had lousy sleep for the past couple of days and my abs are sore from the coughing -- not the best frame of mind for contemplating my current conundrum.  In a way, it's too bad that an outburst at the shop couldn't have solved my problems. I suppose that treating people well is generally a good practice and the best option.  For a humorous look at anger management, you could go back and read my initial post from years ago.

Spread the JOY!

John <><

Unsung Heroes

In his sermon this morning, Pastor Terry was talking about the people that had been with Paul and supported him throughout his ministry. Paul names some of them at the end of his Letter to the Colossians. Pastor Terry mentioned some of the people that have been there to encourage and support him throughout his ministry and went on to describe the ways that the people mentioned in this chapter supported Paul.

Even before he came to the part where he asked us to reflect on the people that are our "unsung heroes" and have quietly encouraged, inspired and supported us,  I was already thinking about a few of them.  Pastor Terry didn't name anybody from our church because he knew that there wasn't time to name everybody and forgetting anybody might hurt some feelings.  I guess the same could be said for writing about people and I don't know that prefacing a post by saying that these are just a few of the many people that have given me encouragement along the way will help. It's not not that I discount the contributions of others (yours included if not mentioned here), it just that these are a some unlikely ones. There is a pretty good chance that these people have no idea that they have influenced or inspired me in my spiritual growth.

I guess I should start at the beginning. I grew up in a very Catholic home. I went to a Catholic grade school.  I  knew that my parents were very devoted to "the Church" but didn't know just how involved they were until much later in my adult life.  I guess I thought that the bishop stopped at everybody's house for an occasional dinner and didn't know that my parents were involved at a level beyond the local parish.  Today, I recognize that their devotion is not to "the Church", but to their Lord and Savior Jesus.  My son calls them the most un-catholic Catholics that he knows as they read their Bible daily, pray together daily, and look forward to the reports on God's answers to prayer so that they can offer their thanks. In spite of the fact that I missed most of what was being taught in that Catholic school or at home and pretty much quit going to church at the earliest opportunity, I came away with a foundational knowledge of God and a little bit of an understanding of the fallen nature of man.

The next spiritual guide that entered into my life was my wife, Chris.  It was Chris that insisted that we start going to church and it was Chris that did the work in looking for a church that we would both be comfortable in worshiping God.  At the time, I was working a lot of Sundays and she often went to church by herself and reported back on the churches that she visited.  Even after I surrendered to follow Jesus, there were still many Sundays when I was working and she was always faithful to attend, even when it meant getting one, and then two, little ones up and ready by herself.

I've written about my friend, Gene Rainwater, before.  Rather than telling the story again, I'll just encourage you to read my previous post. It's a little long but it is one of my favorites to reread ... except for the part about having to get up and grab a box of Kleenexes!

There have been others. Some young men that have answered God's call and made hard decisions about following him to other countries or taken risks in leaving the security of a bigger church to plant a new one. Three young men that come to mind (all friends): David Stone that has endured the harsh side of church politics but continues faithfully in his calling to pastor, plant and grow churches for the glory of God.  Brad Daily that followed God's call to Canada to work on reaching Canada with the saving Gospel of Jesus. (Brad was rewarded for his faithfulness by finding a great girl to marry and is now back in the Midwest.) And Dale Campbell that moved all the way to New Zealand and continues serving in the ministry.  Wait a minute ... Dale has also found a girl to marry.  I guess faithfully following God's call has some pretty cool rewards on earth as well in the life to come! These young men have inspired me just by being faithful to the call.

There is a young man that I met once on an airplane on a short flight from SGF to ORD.  That's not a lot of time to impact a life.  Michael Mosely was a young Marine that had been at Ft. Wood on a short assignment as was heading back to his duty station in Washington D.C.  We talked about his Christianity, some of the struggles he was facing, and his questions how God was working and wanted to work through his life and through his music. Michael has gone on to answer God's call and complete his degree work in Biblical Studies at Washington Bible College.  ...And his studies also led him to a young lady that is now his wife.

Maybe that's just the way of young men and young women. Maybe if these guys read this (and that's a BIG maybe) they'll weigh in on whether or not they feel their wives are God's blessing for their faithfulness.

There have been encouraging conversations with guys that I've worked with. One guy I only saw at shift change, but we would often talk for quite awhile and I always enjoyed those thought provoking conversations (TB).  Another  now retired controller (FK) had me invited to his church on a couple of occasions early in my ministry and was another one of those guys that God let in on His plans to call me into ministry before I recognized it.

There have been others; many of them professional ministers in some way--pastors, evangelists, denominational leaders, etc.

But I wanted to mention these because their influence has been largely unintentional.  They have inspired and encouraged me just by loving God and serving Him.

The next question that Pastor Terry asked was a lot more difficult to answer ... and I'll share it with you:

Are you on anybody's unsung hero list? Have you been a quiet encourager or an inspiration to somebody as they struggle in their Christian walk?

Something to think about, eh?

John <><
253.0

Christianity...as a Hobby

hobby (hob ee) --noun; an activity pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation.
from Dictionary.com

As a magician, I consider myself to be a hobby magician.  It's true that I perform at a level above the level of doing tricks for friends and family, but it is not at the level of earning a living at it.  As a matter of fact, I seldom promote myself as a magician and do little to no marketing for jobs, but still manage to have quite a few paid gigs every year.

I would have to say that I've invested in magic at a level far above the average hobby magician, but again, below the level of a true magician (professional)--especially in the area of time investment.

Some might say that since I'm regularly paid to do magic, I'm a professional magician. I disagree (and I think that the ones that promote, market, and make a living at magic would also disagree).

I have been to a number of magic conventions, workshops and lectures. I have belonged to magic clubs and subscribed to magic periodicals. These things help me to be a better magician. They are an investment of time and money, but they don't make me a magician.  Most days, I don't find myself thinking about ways to promote myself as a magician.  In fact, most days, I don't even think about magic at all. Most of the time I'm just John--husband, dad, air traffic controller, and just struggling to make it through another day.  Generally speaking, people don't see John and think -- magician.

Definitely not a professional magician.

I say all of this because I've recently been considering that I often pursue Christianity in much the same manner--as if it were a hobby.

Okay, so I may take it to a little bit higher level than your average hobby Christian. I rarely promote myself as a Christian and do little to no marketing to get jobs.  However, I do get called on to preach from time to time. I do get asked to special events and often end up with quite a few "paid gigs" during a year.

I might say that I've invested in Christianity at a level far above the average hobby Christian, but again, below the level of a true Christian (professional)--especially in the area of time investment.

I've been to Christian conventions and workshops (and committee meetings by the hundreds!), and attend regular club meetings (We hold them every Sunday, if you get my drift.), and I read Christian publications and blogs.  These things help me to be a better Christian. They are an investment of time and money, but they don't make me a Christian.  Most days, I don't find myself thinking about ways to promote myself as a Christian.  In fact, most days, I don't even think about Christianity very much at all. Most of the time I'm just John--husband, dad, air traffic controller, and just struggling to make it through another day.  Generally speaking, people don't see John and think -- Christian.

Truthfully, I don't expect to make a living as a professional Christian -- but Christianity should be my life.

When people see Criss Angel or David Copperfield, they think -- magician!
If I want to be recognized as a magician, I'm going to have to become a magician. More than being what I am, it has to be who I am.
It will take a change in attitude about myself and my surroundings. I will need to pursue magic in everything. I will need to promote myself as a magician.

In the same way:

If I want to be recognized as a Christian, I'm going to have to become a Christian. More than being what I am, it has to be who I am. 

It will take a change in attitude about myself and my surroundings. I will need to pursue Christ in everything. I will need to promote -- not myself as a Christian; I will need to promote Jesus as the Christ; the Messiah; the Chosen One; God's Son; God.

The time may come when I will work on the professional magician thing.

The time for me to move beyond being a hobby Christian is now.

How about you?

John <><

Cruisin' Along On Autopilot

It's funny what your mind can think of when you're supposed to be engaged in something else.

Relax, this didn't happen at work; it happened at church.

Of course I was supposed to be engaged in the whole worship experience. That is why we go to church, right? I don't remember what songs we sang or what it was that started me on the thought trail that I ended up on, but the thing that I started thinking about was that my spiritual life has sort of been on autopilot.

In some ways, this is not a bad thing. The little things are taken care of and we're able to cruise right along and everything appears to be okay.

In other ways, this can be a very dangerous thing. Without proper monitoring and occasional adjustments, autopilot can take you to places that you don't want to be.

I started thinking about Payne Stewart. Payne Stewart was a Springfield native and his death in 1999 was a big shock to this area. In this chronology of the events that happened on that day, the entry at 10:52am EST says: ''Aircraft jumped to 44,000.'' (Pentagon spokesman Kenneth Bacon said the plane was ''porpoising,'' fluctuating between 22,000 and 51,000 feet. This may be because it was on auto pilot.)

If the aircraft was configured to climb, it would keep climbing until somebody or something told it to stop climbing, or until it could no longer generate the lift to keep it climbing. Even though the autopilot should be able to do this, there are adjustments that need to be made. Power for a climb is different than power for cruising. Wing configurations are different. Fuel mix is different. Adjustments are subtle but significant. With nobody conscience to make these adjustments, the Lear jet made it way across most of the country climbing and descending as the forces of nature and engineering battled each other until it ran out of fuel and the Laws of Gravity were no longer offset by the lift being generated as the engines pushed the aircraft through the air.

When the Laws of Gravity take effect on an aircraft ten miles above the Earth's surface and there is little or no resistance to the effect, the inevitable happens very quickly and very forcefully.

Maybe that's how it is with our spiritual lives. We go through the highs and lows and either consciously or sub-consciously fail to make the necessary adjustments to keep on track as life's situations change. We make no course corrections. We make no changes to our attitude. Our altitude fluctuates outside of our control and we will eventually crash and burn in a spiritual heap...

Unless we decide to wake up and begin to make the subtle but necessary changes to our attitude and altitude and to make conscience decisions about our course instead of leaving things to the rigid structure of the autopilot.

I know...it's weird. Even more weird that this whole thought process took place in my head in only a few short moments. It's like waking up from a dream that was a whole day in dream time but only minutes have ticked off the clock in real time.

I guess it's time to be more purposeful about my spiritual life--more purposeful about prayer, more purposeful about study, more purposeful about ... worship.

What about you? Everything okay in your spiritual cockpit? Or is it time to kick the autopilot off and make some adjustments?

John