Wednesday: How is your Lent going?

Good morning from the front porch of our home in Highlandville MO!
It looks to be another overcast day and this morning's 62 (18c) degrees could be the high for the day. 
No worries. 
We'll likely get a little rain this afternoon, and I am confident that we are not completely past the winter weather, but I am happy to see the signs of spring all around me.
Today we will have 11 hours and 29 minutes of daylight in Highlandville as we continue to add minutes approaching the spring equinox.

My Lenten practices are going -- meh, okay I guess. I have enjoyed the couple of spiritual leader conversations that I have had and am looking forward to more of those. My reading of Merton's diary is going slowly. It's not really what I was expecting, but it does give me some insight to his person and I think it will help understand his perspective should I read more of his writings. I have not done a good job of keeping up with my own gospel reading and diary.
Since it has only been two weeks, it is difficult to measure if I have been more purposeful about being around other people. One or two scheduled meetings with others is a significant step for me, so I guess I have done quite well. I've already had two people meets this week and have two more scheduled!

I have generally managed a #40DaysofGoodShit post to my Facebook page, even while spending much less time on my Chromebook or smartphone. I did miss yesterday, but posted on Sunday (not counted in the 40 days of Lent) so I guess I'm still good. As with most days, yesterday was good -- nothing special, but still a good day. I expect today to be the same. 

John

Coffee time!

I enjoy -- not just like -- but really enjoy a good cup of coffee. 
There is a guy at our church that roasts and sells coffee as a side hustle. It has been a little while since I have bought coffee from him (mostly because I don't actually go to church very often). A week ago I saw his wife and asked if he was still roasting coffee and she responded by telling me that he was at home roasting as we were speaking. I said if he was roasting Ethiopian beans, I wanted some.

He was and Tuesday morning I picked up a double order. 
Yesterday, I finished the last of my bulk Ethiopian beans from Mama Jeans, and I am now enjoying my natural washed, freshly roasted, freshly brewed Ethiopian beans from my friend. 
If you haven't already figured it out -- yes, Ethiopian origin coffees are my favorites!

Good coffee makes me happy.
It's not a jump up and down, celebration kind of happy. It's more like a sip and enjoy, contented kind of happy. That's what I am feeling this morning.

It is a grand way to begin a day!
Plus today is the second of my scheduled conversations with religious leaders about deconstruction. I am looking forward to it. 

The sun is shining and the temperature should make it to the mid 60s (17-18c) today. 
I have a lunch meeting planned, I might get a little gardening work in this afternoon, and I might just make it to Barchurch this evening.
It is shaping up to be a pretty fine day in the life of John!

John
#40DaysofGoodShit

Good Stuff

It's weird to realize that you haven't been on the internet much in the past few days. After a couple of days (nights) at the shelter I am on the Chromebook for the first time since Sunday afternoon. Admittedly, I do access several sites with my phone on a regular basis, but I am still a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to using everyday tech gadgets. 

I have worked with a few new volunteers or with people that have been volunteering on different nights recently. Our volunteers have such varying and interesting backgrounds and come to serve for different reasons. Several have been on the street themselves at some point and have a firsthand knowledge of how important shelters like ours are.

Over the years, I have worked with a couple of people that are fulfilling court mandated community service hours. One woman continued working past her hours because she said she liked doing the shelter work. Some volunteers are retired (like me), some are business owners, some are well educated and teach at a university, others are blue collar or service industry workers, some are between jobs. It is quite a variety of people we get to help our community through the coldest nights.
One of our regular volunteers gets clothing donations from friends and fills the closet every week when he works. 
It really encourages me to see so many good people doing good work and following in the path of loving our neighbors.
 
Each year, as we draw close to the end of the cold weather shelter season, I find myself saying that I am not going to be back next year and think of spending the winter months someplace where winter isn't really a thing, But the need will still be here and something compels me to return and serve in some capacity. There is a part of my brain that keeps telling me that I am getting too old for this shit, but then my regular overnight helper that is five years older shows up makes me realize that it's just an excuse to justify not doing it. 

I really don't know what next winter will hold for me. The draw to be warm pulls me southward. But if I am here, I will likely be back at the shelter for part of that time.

Today, I am satisfied and encouraged.
I am happy that there are good people doing good things in a world that makes so much more of the bad stuff.
#40DaysofGoodShit

John

Deconstructed Faith Bros

Where are the deconstructed faith bros of Southwest Missouri (SWMO)?
One of the weird things about looking for religious leaders to talk to about their new faith walk is realizing that the "out" leaders are mostly women.

I'm wondering if the men are just quietly going along their ways solo (kind of like me) or if there just aren't that many in this highly patriarchal, highly misogynistic, religiously fundamental corner of the world?

I know I don't have a large following at all, much less here in SWMO, so if anybody knows of deconstructed male leaders that are here in SWMO I would like to know about them too -- even if they are no longer in the religion business. (Can we be honest and admit that religion is really just another business?)

I had a recent conversation with an older (my age) gay man that said he didn't come out to himself until he was 50. He is now retired and still struggles to come out openly to people because of the religious backlash that exists in this fundamentally conservative and homophobic area. 
Maybe coming out as deconstructed produces a similar fear. I know that I lost a large number of "friends" and acquaintances over speaking up against injustices of churches and for not bending to the political leanings of church people. Critical thinking is not a friend of those that control religious people.

Just some observations.
Anyway, if you know of someone drop me a message or leave me a comment. Comments posted to the blog (not Facebook) are moderated so they won't be made public if you tell me the info is just for me personally.

It's only Day 3 of Lent.
How are you doing?

John

Ash Wednesday

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust

If I'm being honest, I've never really understood the ashes part. If we're looking to the Bible I can see that we were created from the dust of the land, but ashes? Where did that come from? 
(answer -- The Book of Common Prayers)

I don't think it really matters. It just reminds me that the whole Lenten season is more made up, controlling church bullshit. Ash Wednesday became the beginning of 40 days of fasting (not counting the 6 Sundays) leading up to Easter that we call Lent. While pre-Easter fasting was a thing for a few centuries, this particular Papal decree began in the year 601 of the Common Era. The 40 days are representative of Jesus' days in the wilderness.

I don't think that the Lenten season is without merit. Reflection and repentance are good things. I plan on purposefully doing both this year -- examining my spiritual life (which is really just my life) and repenting (the biblical changing how I think) where I need it.

I have reached out to a few pastors or spiritual leaders that I respect and will meet with them to ask questions about areas where I have been struggling. I would like to find someone for each of the six weeks of Lent and may continue the practice beyond the Lenten season.
Fasting is no longer a common practice among Christians, nor is it a common practice in Western culture. It has been quite a number of years since my last serious fast, but is something I am considering.

I am going to participate in Nadia Bolz-Weber's #40DaysofGoodShit (a Lenten practice for cranky people). It's really creating awareness of the good people and things that are in our everyday lives that we often overlook.
My Day 1 is waking up on the deck after sleeping outside last night. The temperature was just a couple of degrees below 60 (15c) and I slept well. It was the second night this month that I've slept outside. Yes, I am looking forward to spring!

There isn't anything here to qualify for a Wednesday Wisdom post. I could probably find a meme or quote to slap on it, but I think I'll let it slide this week. 
Or offer these simple words of comedian Emily Catalano -- Life is short and we are ... butt dust.

John

A Disturbance in The Force

Okay, maybe not as dramatic as a disturbance in The Force, but it was a disturbance in my normal routine. Hopefully it will become a regular kind of disturbance.

This morning, as I did my typical scroll through the blogs I frequent, I realized that I missed several posts from yesterday.
Oh yeah! I wasn't on my Chromebook yesterday morning because I went out to breakfast instead of sipping coffee and going through my typical morning routine at home.

This winter's shelter schedule has paired me with a guy that has volunteered in past years. We seemed to hit it off well and he generally signs up to volunteer on  Sunday nights, which is one of my scheduled days to work if shelters are open. This year we started going out to breakfast on Monday mornings after our long overnight shift. For the past two weeks, we have met for breakfast even though the shelters were not open.

I do hope that it is a Monday morning habit that we keep throughout the spring and summer. I'll be leaving for a few weeks this spring, so I will have to make sure to reconnect for breakfast when I get back. We both have Red Access Memberships to the Springfield Cardinals games, but have only run into each other at ballgames a few times in the past few years. Maybe we'll see each other at the ballpark this season.

     * * * * * 

An interesting article rolled through my feed yesterday. It was about how men retire without connections outside of their work or careers and often feel lost or lonely in retirement. While it is true that work was the only connection that I had with most of my co-workers and I haven't really kept in touch with anyone in my retirement, I wouldn't say that I ever feel lonely. I have just gotten used to doing things alone and I am okay with that.
Between retiring from work and leaving evangelical christianity (lower case c intentional) I lost most connections outside of family. Very few of those have been replaced along the way and I honestly have not put much effort into developing new friendships along the way. There may come a day that I am a lonely, bitter old man and regret not having made more of an effort to connect with people, but I feel that is unlikely. 
For now, simply having breakfast is as much of a disturbance in The Force as I care to make.

John

 

Current contemplation: To Lent or not to Lent?

I haven't been very religious for the past decade or so. I haven't been a practicing Catholic for much, much longer than that. I generally don't even think of myself as "Christian" anymore. I'm just a guy trying to follow the teachings of Jesus and figure things out.
However, I find myself considering a somewhat traditional observance of Lent this year. I'm not talking about a give up something/suffering for Christ thing, but I am trying to figure out some kind of daily practice to help me to grow spiritually.

Naturally, I am thinking about things like daily reading of the Bible or other writings of a spiritual nature (currently reading some early Merton stuff).
Regular mindfulness practice like meditation is something I need to get back to doing.
I'm thinking about maybe contacting several pastors or religious leaders to meet with them and discuss practices for spiritual growth and perceptions that they have towards it.

But I am also thinking that 40 days of purposeful exercise and healthy dieting is a worthwhile and mindful spiritual practice. Taking care of the temple is an area that my entire being has most definitely neglected for most of my life. 

I am hopeful that whatever I decide in the next few days will be something that incorporates both the physical and the metaphysical aspects of life and will give me something to continue beyond the 40 days of Lent.
Ash Wednesday is this week, February 18, and marks the beginning of Lent.

How about you?
Are any of my more religious readers planning any kind of Lenten observance?
Just wondering.

John

What is -- Living the good life?

In all honesty -- I have a good life.
It is simple; that is for sure.
I am not wealthy, but I have more than I need.
I have simple pleasures and often spend money on frivolous things like cigars, alcohol (bourbon and tequila), sodas, and candy bars.
We have two (older) cars, a hybrid truck, and a motorcycle.

Although I take some daily meds for high blood pressure, suffer from obstructive sleep apnea, and need to lose 80 pounds (36 kg), I am in otherwise decent health. I often say I'm pretty healthy for a fat guy. 

Being outside -- even just sitting outside -- makes me happy.
Planting flowers, seeing them bloom, watching the birds, bees, and butterflies enjoy them makes me happy.
Watching the sun set makes me happy.
Admiring the night sky and looking for familiar stars and constellations makes me happy.
Sitting on the covered deck and listening to a spring or summer rain shower makes me happy.
Sleeping outside makes me happy.
Seeing the beauty and wisdom of our Creator in all of creation makes me happy and brings joy and peace to my soul.

Like I said -- I have a good life.

What does a good life look like for you?
Seriously. I'd like to know.

John

February in the Ozarks!

Yesterday was coffee on the deck.  
Today I'm by the fireplace!
Must be February in the Ozarks!

No worries, though. Every day in February is a day closer to spring!
And I know there will be fewer freezing nights in the weeks to come.

I used the warmer days to do a little garden prep for some vegetables and sunflowers.
I also scattered some seeds from last year's cone flowers (Echinacea). I need to do some work in the flower beds -- cut back the Rugosa rose bush, clean out last year's zinnia stems. and re-rock and mulch the compass rose flower bed. There is plenty to do for the remaining days of February and for early March.

I have the recycling stuff loaded into the truck and will be making my way to Springfield to take it in. I have a little bit of glass and the center in Ozark doesn't take glass. Also, I need to make the Springfield run to pick up and drop off the shelter laundry anyway. I suppose it is good to have something to do on a day that's a little cool to be gardening.
It isn't really too cool to be gardening today. It's just too cool to be working outside in shorts and a t-shirt!

And I've been purposely people-ing --
Breakfast with a friend on Monday, dinner with small group tonight, Chaplain lunch meeting tomorrow and maybe Barchurch tomorrow evening. 
What is going on?

I ran across this quote for a little Wednesday Wisdom.
I wonder if you can be happy and be a philosopher.
Hmmm...?

John

Morning on the deck

It has been a minute!
With a deck temperature of 60 (15c) degrees, I decided that it would be a good morning to enjoy coffee on the deck today.

I slept a little later than normal.I guess a couple of hours of yard work is enough to wear me out this early in the season. It's okay, though. It feels good to be outside and getting a jump on the gardening. With pitchers and catchers reporting to spring training camps it will be planting season before you know it!

     * * * * * 
I haven't been a big follower of Olympic sports for quite some time. I do like the stories of many of the athletes that are competing, more than I like the actual competition.
I like the US athletes that proudly represent a USA that embraces the spirit of the Olympics and honors everybody. 
I am proud of their boldness to speak up and say that they represent a USA that stands up for one another and shows love and compassion for our neighbors.

It is disgusting that there are people that criticize their comments. Even though they haven't said anything negative about the president (lower case p intentional) or the current administration, supporters of the president are lashing out at them for their comments. 
Seriously, WTF?

I have purposefully kept Out of My Hat out of politics for quite some time. I honestly don't believe I have many conservatives that follow me anymore, certainly not many Trump cultists. I do recognize that you can be conservative and not be in favor of this administration's policies and tactics, but if that is you then you have a responsibility to say something as well -- compliance is complicity.

Let's face it -- 
In the USA due process is a right of every person -- citizen and non-citizen alike.
That is not what we have been seeing. 
For decades the right has been saying that the Democrats are coming for your guns, but now it is the current administration that is talking about limiting access and rights to carry. If the right to bear arms is supposed to be to protect ourselves from government tyranny, you 2A m'fers are now a part of the tyranny rather than the protectors.

smh

I keep thinking that surely they will wake up and see the constitutional violations that are happening. Unfortunately, I think we have moved beyond the point of no return. If they haven't seen it by now, they never will. 
Let me say it again -- You can be a conservative and see that what is happening is un-American. Supporting what you know to be a violation of the Constitution isn't patriotism. You are a part of the fascist regime.
Wake up!

Our Olympic athletes make me proud.
Our current government --- not so much.

John