Old Guys and Friendships

Admittedly, 66 isn't all that old.
However, it does put me at an age where physical changes sometimes surprise me. 
There are also social changes that become issues for a lot of guys entering retirement. I've been retired 11+ years now and didn't really feel the isolation that many feel.

For whatever reason, older guys don't seem to have the one on one friendships that most women seem to have. It often seems to be that guys maintain an identity that encompasses what they do for a living --what they are -- more so than who they are. When work is over and those people connections are lost they feel isolated, alone, and without a purpose.

That part wasn't really an issue for me for a few reasons.
First of all -- ATC was what I did. It was never who I was.
Secondly -- I didn't really do much with co-workers outside of work.
Thirdly -- I kept busy with church stuff and magic ministry for a few years before that came to an end.

When the church gig came to an end, admittedly, I was a little lost. It wasn't a big deal since so many people relationships within the church are superficial and conditional at best.
And besides, being alone and being lonely are very different things.
I greatly enjoy being alone.

However, as I age, I can see that having a close guy friend or two would be nice. I don't know if it is too late to really work on that or not, but I also need to feel right about the people that are close to me. I don't want somebody that drains my energy or has a contradictory view on life. 
We don't have to be completely like-minded, but (in my head) contradictory is not the same as different. Contradictory says -- You're wrong and I'm right, and rarely leaves room for discussion or conversation.

I have started meeting with a couple of guys -- breakfast every other week with a guy a few years older and lunches every now and then with a guy a few years younger. It's been good for me. One guy is a shelter volunteer; the other I met through The Venues church and have kept in touch with even though I rarely go anymore.
I have a couple of cherished high school classmates that I really look forward to connecting with on each trip back to central Illinois, as well as a couple of same age friends when we visit the kids in Puerto Vallarta.

I am quite fortunate to have these guys that are a part of my life. 
I do not have a great following in general, even less of a following by retired guys. If you see yourself in this post, feel free to chime in with your thoughts. I consider my old guy fellow bloggers to be included in my list of friends, as well.

John

Five People

One of the blogs that I visit regularly made reference to this quote this weekend:

It got me thinking.
First of all -- I can't think of 5 people that I spend time with.
Secondly -- are authors, bloggers, social media connections counted in the people you spend time with? Same with phone contacts or text messages? Or news outlets?
And finally -- While I understand the thought, isn't this really just a bullshit thing that sounds nice or is there some real documented evidence of this?

Certainly, we are influenced by people that we are surrounded by and the stuff we read or listen to, but do we choose to surround ourselves with people and information that affirms who we are or that challenges who we are?
If we assume that this is a true statement -- Who are your five people, and do they make you a better person or a worse person than you are on your own?

Overall, I think I do a good job of shielding myself from toxic people. Most of the time I just stay away from all people. Yesterday, I actually went to church for the first time in a very long time. Today I will be going to a ballgame. 
But being out where people are isn't the same as being with people in a way that influences behavior. I suppose an exception should be made about church people, but that's not necessarily a good thing.

There is a line in the Bible that says -- Bad company corrupts good character. 
We should be careful about the people we choose as friends. 
Maybe we also need to think about why people would choose to include  or exclude us from their friend circle.

John

#ThingsthatmakeyougoHmmm

Poolside

I am blogging poolside today!
I had originally thought about an early morning walk to a coffee shop/book store in the Romantic Zone, and then to hang around until possibly meeting some friends for lunch. Since we decided to meet for lunch next week, I decided that I would wait until tomorrow to make the long walk for coffee and then meet up with Aaron and Jenny's friends for a birthday brunch for Aaron.

Today I just had coffee around the corner and have been chillin' in the pool and occasionally reading a few pages in my book. The late morning sun is beginning to make its way over the pool and will be full bright for several hours before slipping behind a building and casting a shadow over the pool in the late afternoon. 

I have a little bit of shade on the east side of the pool for a little longer and thought I would type out a few words.

I am very happy that Aaron and Jenny have this place and a wonderful community surrounding them. They have several diverse friend groups. Some overlap a little and others remain separate. While many are expats, they also have local friends and non-US expat friends.
Between weekend beach days, weeknight softball games, and occasional game nights at a local brewery they stay busy and connected with the people from their different groups.
Naturally,we have a much smaller circle of friends here, but I do look forward to spending time with them whenever we are around.

Maybe I need to work on building some friend groups back home.
Meh -- maybe not.

John

¡Buenos días!

Good morning from the Estación Café corner coffee shop near the kids' place in Puerto Vallarta!
It is bazaar day and the vendors have stocked their booths for several blocks. You can buy anything from plumbing, hardware, tools, clothes, bags, shoes, fresh produce, and cooked food. It's quite the weekly event.

Yesterday was a good travel day. I arrived midday, spent the afternoon in the kids' new pool, and then made it to Monzón Brewery for an evening brew and to meet with some friends. We'll hit a couple of different beaches today and tomorrow and I'm sure I'll connect with more friends. 

I wasn't on my Chromebook at all yesterday and don't plan on being on it after posting this note today. I may post a few pics on Facebook or Instagram, but I am hoping to spend much less time on such things.
We shall see how that goes.

Be well,

John 

A Disturbance in The Force

Okay, maybe not as dramatic as a disturbance in The Force, but it was a disturbance in my normal routine. Hopefully it will become a regular kind of disturbance.

This morning, as I did my typical scroll through the blogs I frequent, I realized that I missed several posts from yesterday.
Oh yeah! I wasn't on my Chromebook yesterday morning because I went out to breakfast instead of sipping coffee and going through my typical morning routine at home.

This winter's shelter schedule has paired me with a guy that has volunteered in past years. We seemed to hit it off well and he generally signs up to volunteer on  Sunday nights, which is one of my scheduled days to work if shelters are open. This year we started going out to breakfast on Monday mornings after our long overnight shift. For the past two weeks, we have met for breakfast even though the shelters were not open.

I do hope that it is a Monday morning habit that we keep throughout the spring and summer. I'll be leaving for a few weeks this spring, so I will have to make sure to reconnect for breakfast when I get back. We both have Red Access Memberships to the Springfield Cardinals games, but have only run into each other at ballgames a few times in the past few years. Maybe we'll see each other at the ballpark this season.

     * * * * * 

An interesting article rolled through my feed yesterday. It was about how men retire without connections outside of their work or careers and often feel lost or lonely in retirement. While it is true that work was the only connection that I had with most of my co-workers and I haven't really kept in touch with anyone in my retirement, I wouldn't say that I ever feel lonely. I have just gotten used to doing things alone and I am okay with that.
Between retiring from work and leaving evangelical christianity (lower case c intentional) I lost most connections outside of family. Very few of those have been replaced along the way and I honestly have not put much effort into developing new friendships along the way. There may come a day that I am a lonely, bitter old man and regret not having made more of an effort to connect with people, but I feel that is unlikely. 
For now, simply having breakfast is as much of a disturbance in The Force as I care to make.

John

 

Milestones and What Really Matters

Yesterday I reached a milestone here on Out of My Hat -- 1 million views!
I'm not too overly excited about it because I know that a large percentage are bot hits that have keyed on keywords or topics -- like Charlie Kirk or politics.
I've already had twice as many hits this month as I had for all of last month.

I suppose I could post more political or controversial content and keep a steady stream of high hit days. Then I could monetize my blog and allow ads to supplement my retirement. I could start adding video and make Out of My Hat more of a vlog or blog/vlog combo. 
To be honest, I have considered doing the advertising thing once or twice over the past almost 20 years, but didn't want the added pressure to write or to choose more controversial topics. I prefer to keep it a place for me to just write and share thoughts. I've had a few angry responses over the years, even got called in to the church office over a post that somebody didn't like -- and I wasn't even on staff or holding any kind of church position!

I don't mind writing controversial stuff and I don't really care if everybody agrees with me or not. Having said that, I would rather have people feel good about reading Out of My Hat and come back often for that feeling or maybe to learn something than to be angry or come back to reinforce their own prejudice and bias.

If we have learned anything from either the mainstream media or from social media (or politics) it is that causing division and spreading hatred sells way more than sharing good news and spreading kindness and love. It also appears to be way easier to get people to hate the people you hate than to love the people you love.  
Why is that?
Is it so important for us to feel more important, more powerful, or just better than somebody else?
Are we that insecure with ourselves and who we are that we need to tear other people down?
Why are we so willing to use technology to effectively spread hatred to build our tribes than to use love to enhance our communities?

I understand that it is a part of our natural instinct to be distrustful of things and people that we don't understand. But we can overcome those ancient survival skills and be better. Humanity should be better. We don't need to remain in our small competing tribes and factions. We can learn from one another and be better together. 
Violence is the least educated or least intellectual way to address our differences. It is the way of tyrants and bullies. We are better than that.

I have a few people-ing events this week -- dinner with a small group of friends tomorrow, barchurch on Thursday, and an afternoon of cigars, conversation and a sip or two of bourbon with a friend on Friday. I'll use Saturday as a recharging day and then Sunday is our church community service day followed by a celebratory party. 

Community is hard for me.
I think I'd be better as a hermit.

John

Who Am I?

There are times when the person we think we are differs from the person other people perceive us to be. Sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes we might want to work on changing one or the other so they match. I obviously spend too much time portraying myself as an introverted, cigar smoking, bourbon drinking guy. 
While that is an inaccurate description of me, I've not really considered it to be a part of my identity.

However, after receiving these two sweatshirts and a t-shirt as gifts from friends, I may have to do a little image work.

I say I may need some image work because I have apparently neglected to emphasize that I also enjoy tequila! In fact, the best gift of Christmas is this expensive bottle of extra anejo tequila!

Chris paired the tequila with a nice H Upmann cigar that is resting in my humidor until I have an appropriate time to enjoy it with a neat pour of this super mellow Mexican spirit.

For the wardrobe additions, thank you (from left to right) Mike and Dena, Lenny and Libby, and Kathi.
And thank you to Chris for the great bottle of tequila and fine cigar.

After receiving these wonderful gifts,I'm not sure if I should work on changing my image or just embrace that this is who I am -- a cigar smoking, bourbon (and tequila) drinking introvert.
Hmmm...

John

Saturday

It's pretty early in the AM. I've been up watching the UFC Fights that are in China this weekend. The prelims started at 2 AM and the main card at 5 here in the Midwest. I had a short sleep after my drive home and will probably call it an early and easy day today. 
Lunch with a friend and then an easy and reflective afternoon.

Driving home gave me plenty of time to think about the events of the past week. It's interesting to hear the memories and stories at funeral gatherings. It does kind of make one wonder what people will remember about me when that time comes. 
I also got to spend a few hours with some old friends. Even though we have very different lives and different situations, we have managed to reconnect and re-establish the friendships we had as kids. In truth, these two guys are among my favorite people in the world and getting to spend even a few moments with them is so energizing and uplifting that the effects will last for days. I need to make it back home more often.

After some good people days with relatives and friends, maybe I'll venture into church tomorrow.
Then again, why press my luck? Maybe not.

John

Wednesday Wisdom

It's a little late in the day for my Wednesday Wisdom post.
I met with a friend for my morning coffee. We had a nice visit and it was good to spend some time together. 
I followed that up by going to see another old friend and order some new eyeglasses. It's been several years since I've ordered new glasses and it was a bonus to be able to order them from a friend.

My Wednesday Wisdom to share is -- contact an old friend. 
Send a text
Make a call
Even go old school and drop a card or letter in the mail.
You'll be glad you did.
So will they.

John

So long, Summer!

I'm up at sunrise on this last day of summer. sigh
By this time tomorrow morning the sun will have reached the equator in its southward journey and it will be fall in the northern hemisphere. The equinox -- when there is equal night and day at the equator -- is different than the equilux -- when night and day are equal wherever you are. Tomorrow there will be 12 hours and 8 minutes of daylight here in Highlandville MO. Our equilux, where there are 12 hours of both day and night won't occur until Wednesday.

While I may lament the beginning of fall, it isn't like this catches me by surprise or will change my life in any great way. It isn't like I have to build fires earlier or burn more oil in my lanterns. I'll just flip the lights on a little earlier in the evening. Living in rural Missouri doesn't have the active nightlife that life in a city might bring so the only real difference is more dark.
I know that more dark/less light does have an impact on many people. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) can impact physical health as well as mental well-being. I am fortunate that I don't suffer from SAD in any profound ways, but by the midpoint of winter I am truly longing for spring and summer.

Enough with the stuff out of my control!
Something I do have control over is meeting with people. I do manage my people contact pretty well, maybe too well. I am trying to be more purposeful about that and have recently been adding occasional meetings with people. I've always sort of known that men have problems with friendships, but I am just realizing that it is more of a problem for quite a few guys. 

"I don't really have any friends," is a lament I hear quite often. 
Truthfully, I don't either, but I don't know that it's something to lament about. Sure, it would be nice to have a buddy to go watch the fights with, but I'm also okay with watching alone or skipping an event all together. 
I do know a group of young men (40ish) that meet weekly and have developed good friendship bonds in doing so. I've been invited into the group and have gone a few times, but I'm pretty sure I'm more like the age of their dads. It's cool, but the relationships they have between one another is much more organic than one they might have with me.
The thing about this group is that it is quite purposeful. Maybe that's something my generation never really learned. So I'm learning from these young guys.
I doubt that I'm going to ever host a weekly fire pit gathering, but if I meet with a few different men for an occasional coffee/breakfast/lunch/beer/cigar that might be a good thing for me and for them.

I already have a coffee connection for this coming week, so I should be good for the rest of the month. I'll start working on October later.

John

I think this is Friday -- right?

It has been quite a week!
Once again, early retirement has afforded me the opportunity to be able to take care of the unexpected on pretty short notice. This particular trip had some unexpected side benefits.

I got to have dinner with one of my cousins and her spouse and express my gratitude to them for always being available to help my mom and for truly loving her. The dinner, the conversation, and just being in their presence was so very uplifting to my spirit.

Another perk of the quick trip to Central Illinois was meeting with a couple of life-long friends.
It is unbelievable that a little kid somehow had the wisdom to forge friendships with these two other boys that would grow into the men that are my friends today -- men that are good persons and so incredibly rare in my small world today.
Though our life paths have been vastly different and separated me from them for a long time, their character and moral fiber makes me proud to be numbered among their friends. They give me hope in humanity and remind me that there are men of character and integrity in a world that seems to value boisterous, toxic masculinity more than the strong, quiet, intelligent and loving men that my friends are.
I will be riding this spiritual lift for some time and being more purposeful about planning another time to experience their presence and positive life energy.

Do you have those people in your life?
I hope you do.

It is good to be home this morning. I am feeling well rested after an exceptionally long sleep in my own bed last night -- 9 hours!
It is going to be a beautiful day here in the Ozarks. I may not do anything at all -- other than enjoy a cigar and a margarita while sitting alone on the deck.
I know -- it's just another day in the life of John.

John
#retirementdoesnotsuck

Thursday Theology

Honestly, I sometimes read the bible from my current perspective and wonder how I ever could have read it any other way. I read this week's gospel passage in the lectionary schedule and all I can see is how religion is once again used to justify inaction.

You should probably read it for yourself -- Mark 2:23-3:6.

If you've ever wondered how someone can go from preacher boy to non-religious, it pretty much comes down to today's religious community being too similar to the religious community of Jesus' day. Where Jesus used love and compassion to guide his actions, religion used rules and laws. Where love says you can, religion says you can't.
Not much has changed in 2,000 years, even for those that claim to follow Jesus. It's why I refrain from identifying as a Christian. Most Christians don't seem to be very Christ-like.

Today there are even communities that pass laws that make it illegal to give water, food, or money to people that are in need. These aren't religions making rules, these are governments making laws.
How have we become so unloving as a people? How has letting this happen in our communities become so normal?
Wouldn't it be better if Love became our normal response instead of rules (religion).

I want to share a story about one of my friends -- one of my people.
He found himself on the governing board of his homeowners association and there was a particular lot in their subdivision that was badly neglected. The person living there was renting and neither the renter nor the homeowner was responding to letters to take care of the property and clean up the mess. While they were discussing what action they should take against the responsible parties, my friend suggested that maybe they just need some help. He said that where he goes to church (The Venues) they teach that we should love our neighbors and help them when needed. 
And so he and some others that he recruited went and took care of the property.
That is why he is one of my people!
That is what following Jesus looks like!

I know that loving your neighbor can be difficult. Sometimes it's hard work. Maybe that's why we make rules and religions so we don't have to.
What if we just let love be our guide?
What if we really asked ourselves -- What Would Jesus Do (WWJD)?

John

Wednesday Wisdom -- a question

A recent Facebook post asked the question -- What is the first thing you notice about someone?

So -- What is the first thing you notice about someone?

It's weird, but for me it is their energy.
I've never really considered myself to be an empath. I certainly am not very empathetic. But as I have become more contemplative I have also become more aware of the energy that comes off of other people. I don't see it in weird colors or anything like that, it's just a feeling -- like a frequency vibration. Some frequencies resonate in a very positive, uplifting way; some are more negative. Some are healing, while others are hurting. Some are very guarded and cautious, some are afraid.

Oftentimes I can sense when a person's energy level is low and needs to be recharged. Some people are energy thieves -- they steal energy from others without consent. There are always takers, givers, and those that simply share with others.
I think there are energy frequencies that go well together like sound frequencies that harmonize to make chords or musical patterns. Some, not so much.

Some people make you feel better just by being around them. 
Others you tend to avoid.
Sometimes you can feel that energy just by reading their words, sensing their virtual presence, or even thinking about them. When those are positive experiences, you have found your people.

On a side note,
I know there is a difference between sensing feelings like an empath and understanding feelings as in having empathy. And I don't really know if this energy thing is a characteristic of an empath or just some bullshit that I've made up in my head to explain why I am drawn to certain people and not to others.

Anyway, that was my answer. It probably wasn't what they were expecting.
What's yours?
What is the first thing you notice about someone?

John

A Friday Two-fer

It's another dreary day in the Ozarks. Apparently the local weather hasn't gotten the word that it is no longer April and the daily showers and thunderstorms are continuing into May.

In a little bit I will be venturing out for the third time in the past week to meet with someone for coffee, brunch or lunch. I'm becoming a regular social butterfly!
Plus I actually went to church on Sunday! So much people-ing! Add a tooth extraction and a haircut into the week and I have been out of the house pretty much every day.
What is going on?

I've been thinking about friendships and people interactions lately. I don't know that many people would share my own assessments of friendships and family relationships. I do realize that close family relationships seem to be more rare than they should be and many people just don't have loving relationships within their natural families. 

To me -- family is family, and friends are friends. 
Ours is a pretty tight family -- from parents to siblings, to spouses, kids, and cousins. It's kind of a birthright thing and so it is a limited kind of relationship.
I know that some people consider close community relationships to be "family," but I've always thought that being chosen to be a friend is its own kind of valued relationship. There are many chosen friendships that are much closer than familial relationships.
While I might not have any control over who my family is; I have complete control over who my friends are. So do you.
And friendships aren't always reciprocal. I might consider you to be my friend and you may not consider me to be your friend. We each get to make that choice for ourselves. You can't refuse to be my friend any more than I can demand to be yours.

However, we can be friendly (or friend-like) to everyone.
We can treat people with respect and dignity, and we can live in community with people that we don't always agree with. Sometimes that might mean avoiding each other's company. My own preference for being alone is rarely about avoiding certain people and more about just being more comfortable without other people being around.
It's weird that one can be around a lot of people and still feel alone (like at a ballgame or event) and that's a good thing for me, or one could be around a lot of people and feel lonely (like a party or a church gathering) and that's a pretty sad thing.
Being alone and being lonely are very different things.

I'm not certain what inspired this little rant today, but maybe you know someone that is lonely and can reach out to them today.
Or maybe you have a friend or family member that could use a word of encouragement or a reminder that they are loved.
Or maybe I just needed the reminder to be more friendly to people.

Have a grand weekend!

John 

Monday Meditation

Sorry about another post on religion, but my thoughts keep coming back to how much I have changed since I set aside that evangelical thing about needing to tell everybody how much they need Jesus and how they are going to hell unless they pray the magic words.
I have a very different attitude about the bible and a different approach to reading the instructions and lessons that Jesus taught. I also wonder how people read the bible with a perspective of how it teaches others how they should live without ever considering that it is supposed to be teaching us how we should live.

When I focus on my relationship with the Creator, on my relationship with others, on my relationship with creation -- there really isn't time to worry about what others are doing. Sure, I would love for others to experience peace and to work on making the world a better place, but that is a decision and action that they have to be responsible for making and taking on their own.I am happy to encourage them -- even help them -- along the way, but I can't be responsible for them. I have a full time gig taking care of John.
I really don't know how people find the energy to concern themselves with how everybody else acts or what they believe.

Something I do believe in is being kind to one another.
Last week, an old friend that I hadn't seen for quite some time messaged me about getting together for a bit. While on a Caribbean cruise celebrating their 10 year wedding anniversary, they made a stop in the Dominican Republic and he picked up a cigar for me at a boutique cigar shop. 

It was quite an enjoyable smoke.
I like the pigtail finish at the cap end, and the two tone wrapper. I also like the size of this one - 6 x 60.
It was a mild, easy smoke with nice flavor subtleties that changed over the course of the nearly two hour smoke. It's difficult to express how touched I am that he thought of me. The thought and the cigar together made for quite a gift. It was also great to visit for a little while and catch up on life.

Not only did this simple act of kindness lift me up, but it also serves as an encouragement to do the same for someone else. I wonder how far the ripples of this act of kindness will reach.


John

New Flowers

Yesterday I met with a friend that gave me a great gift -- more plants for the garden.
A few starter plants for the fall and some seeds for the spring.
I put the starters in small pots this morning and have to figure out where I will plant them and make an area for them. Three of them are moon flowers and two are milkweed. 

I'm a bit conflicted about where to place the moon flowers. If you are unfamiliar with moon flowers, they have beautiful, fragrant flowers that bloom at night and close when the sun comes up. 
So...
Do I plant them in the back where I can enjoy them from the deck, or in the front where the neighbors can appreciate their beauty? 
I'm leaning towards the back, but just need to figure out where.

Milkweed has pretty flowers and are host plants for monarch butterflies. Adult butterflies lay their eggs on the leaves and the milkweed becomes the food for the caterpillars that become the butterflies. Between planting dill for the swallowtail butterflies, milkweed for the monarchs, and having plenty of flowers for the other pollinators, we should have plenty of birds, bees, and butterflies.

I'll be moving and expanding my sunflower area next spring. I'm also looking at planting native flowers in different areas of the large field behind us. Natural grassland areas are great for local wildlife, keep soil temperatures a little lower, slow water runoff, and will give me a little less to have to mow. Plus -- they are beautiful!

And I'd love to plant more trees.
Trees are expensive. If you get maple or oak saplings that pop up in the spring let me know. I've got plenty of room for them. New pine or evergreen trees are also welcome. I tell myself that I wouldn't mind walnut or native Missouri pecan trees, but I don't know that for sure. I'd definitely plant them towards the back of the field and in an area that I can get away with leaving uncut when the trees are dropping their nuts.

I might need a greenhouse to keep things growing in the winter months and get plants started for the spring.

Hmmm...

Enjoy some nature today!

John

Unexpected Shower

It's a quiet morning and I am enjoying listening to the rainfall of an unexpected shower this morning. It is a nice way to end my morning meditation time.

The weather app on my phone only showed a 7% chance of rain this morning and I expect this shower to be brief. But it is nice while it lasts and the gentle rain this morning is far better than the wind and storms of Sunday night. 
I was hoping to take the motorcycle out for the 40 minute ride to the hospital to make my chaplain rounds today, but I think the car is going to be a safer choice today. Maybe I'll ride the bike into Springfield tonight for the baseball game. 

I'm going to use today's unexpected shower as a prompt to make a couple of contacts -- you know, kind of an unexpected encouragement to a couple of people. 
If you were going to drop a -- "Hey, just thinking of you. Hope you're having a great day,"  kind of note to somebody -- who would you send it to?
Why not just go ahead and do that?
Go on. Do it now. Your phone is right there. Just pick it up and send the message. 
You'll both feel better for it!

     * * * * *

I just posted over on my Unhealthy Guy's blog about my August goals. It's too bad I haven't been able to find that stick-to-it determination that I really need to maintain the effort. Writing does tend to keep me more focused so maybe I need to make more regular posts to be self-accountable.

I've got some things to do this morning so I'd better get off of the chromebook and get busy.

Have a grand day!
John

Bad Habits -- sort of

I picked up some bad habits while in Mexico last month.
The kids live in a very walkable community. Everything is close by and walking is pretty safe at any hour of the day or night. It is a resort area with a vibrant night life, plenty of affordable restaurants, and there is always something to do for both locals and tourists. We were going out pretty much every night.

In our first week back home I was out with people 4 of the 7 days. This week it's going to be 3 of 7. 
What is going on?

To be completely honest, most of it is pretty cool. I probably wouldn't go out if I totally hated it. I do tend to be ready to leave before most people as my energy wanes and my tolerance for people diminishes, but I am usually with people of my choosing and people that I enjoy being around. There may not be a lot of those people and I find it interesting how different they are from me and from one another. 

Tonight we will be at a Springfield brewery listening to some of our friends play. Their little cover band has really grown in popularity and I am so happy that they seem to be playing somewhere most weekends. They have a great following and so most of the venues where they play end up packed full. We usually see other people that we know and have a good evening of conversing and listening to music.

If we were in Puerto Vallarta next Monday night, we would be at a little neighborhood bar/restaurant listening to one of our new friends play his acoustic guitar and sing popular covers and some original stuff, as well. Our small group of PV friends would be there supporting him, conversing with one another, and enjoying an evening out.

I wonder how these friends from very different worlds would get along with one another. 
Since I tend to gravitate toward people that have open minds and open spirits, I think they would mesh pretty well. Daily life in PV is much slower and has so much less stress than daily life in the US. 
But even in the busy (often stressful) life of the US, music has its way of calming (or energizing) the spirit and releasing the stress. 

Being out in public may not be as bad if I get to choose the people I'm with. I prefer smaller groups and even smaller (one on one) conversations within those groups. The problem (as I see it) with going out in public is that too often the public shows up!
sigh

John

What's Going On?

I think our trip to Mexico and spending time out with the kids and their friends nearly every night has been a bad influence on me. We got back home on Sunday, spent Tuesday (July 4th) with friends all day, Thursday was More Than at 425 (midweek church group), Friday night (last night) I was out to see friends play at a local taproom, and I'm thinking about finding a place to go watch the fights tonight.
Plus I have meetings or gatherings scheduled for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights next week!
And I had the morning coffee shop experience yesterday!

What in the literal hell is going on?

A funny observation about last night:
The band was Kit Barley & The Creekside Bandits. (You should follow them on Facebook if you are in SWMO) They have a pretty decent local following and usually pack a venue. There's another introvert follower that I've seen at some of their other gigs. He comes alone, sips a few beers throughout the night, and listens to the music. We usually acknowledge each other's presence, might share a few words of conversation, and quietly enjoy the evening. I get that guy.

I like going to Kit Barley gigs. The band has a really good energy about them and the voices harmonize quite well. The lead singer/lead guitarist is one of those people that just makes me feel good about being around him. 
Do you know somebody like that? Somebody that you see and instantly your day is better?
He's one of those people for me. Actually, the entire band is like that, but I think he is the focal point of that vibe. I am happy for them that they have been playing quite a bit this summer.

Overall, I usually have a positive evening when out to hear Kit Barley. The positive energy from my friends in the band more than offsets the energy drain of being around people. Most people exposures aren't like that for me. 

Maybe I'll skip going out for the fights tonight. 
We'll see.

Find some people or things to recharge today. When you are fully charged, you can share that energy with others.

John

Welcome to July (Bienvenido a julio)

It's hard to believe that half of 2023 has already passed by and we are moving into the second half of the calendar year. While it might be more cultural (at least in the Western world) to want to get off to a running start, I think I'll take July 1st being a Saturday (sabado), the sabbath as a sign that I should rest and reflect before moving onward in the search for my life's purpose.
Actually, I'll probably take a couple of days to do that since tomorrow is a travel day as we make our way back to the Midwest furnace of Highlandville MO.

I do hope to hang on to the prevailing attitude of community that exists here in Puerto Vallarta. Life moves at a much slower pace here and people tend to see each other and take care of one another in a way that is very natural and organic. That also seems to be one of the main reasons that so many US expats are living here. The US and Canada (and some Europeans, too) folks that we have met here range from retired to much younger people that are still working. The working folks (like Aaron and Jenny) either work remotely and earn US or Canadian dollars, work for local companies, or have established businesses here. 
Income levels range from enough to get by and live in paradise to doing very well and living with a mix of more modern amenities while still managing a more simple and less demanding daily lifestyle.

I already have a simple, less demanding lifestyle than most. I may have to consider getting out more. I have enjoyed the experience of meeting people and sharing life with others during this past month. I am aware that doing that at home poses different challenges as it seems to be more of a challenge to find open minded people to converse with and share life and stories of life. When you can't go to freakin' Walmart without seeing someone that feels the need to open carry --  well, it does make me want to just enjoy my quiet little corner of the world on the screened in deck.
Also, traditional gathering places both here and at home tend to be bars, breweries, or restaurants with bars, and that really isn't our thing. Maybe we need to find more local music groups to follow since that is something we both enjoy.
Maybe I should just get a pool and have a few people over from time to time or enjoy it without other people. 
Hmmm...

In any case,
I have a pretty darn good life.
I have enjoyed being here in PV for the past month, but I will enjoy being back at home, as well.

Happy Canada Day to our northern neighbors.

Live well, my friends.
Be kind.

John

The last sunset of June