Ugly John: the f#¢*-r rears his head

Ugh! 
Just a few hours after posting about recognizing the authority of Jesus and loving our neighbors -- I blew it. From the dungeon of my being Ugly John rose up to make an appearance and I kind of lost my cool. With it went my reputation for generally keeping my cool at the shelter.
Sacrebleu!

It has been quite some time since Ugly John made it out of the dungeon. Maybe I got a little too complacent about watching over him. It is time to reinforce the manacles and double lock the cell door. I've been a little careless with the personal meditation and grounding lately. That, combined with the exposure to a dependent population, is a pretty volatile situation. I should have been better.

Maybe I'll brave the cold this weekend and spend some time on the deck with a good cigar. It has been too long. Although the weekend will be cool, Monday and Tuesday should offer some near 60 (15c) degree temps for a more enjoyable smoke and still be in plenty of time before my next overnight exposure.
Looking back, it was still pretty much just another night at the shelter. I'm not sure what the trigger really was. Maybe I'm just getting too old (or cynical) for this shit. 
Nah, that's just a BS excuse for bad behavior.
I need to be better.

Sorry for the rant.
Just needed a therapeutic place to vent.

John

Recognizing Authority

This week's gospel reading in the lectionary schedule is Mark 1:21-28.
This is one of those passages that always amazes me. Jesus encounters a demon or demons, they recognize him as the Son of God, they always obey his command.

It's weird, isn't it.
Followers of Jesus say they recognize him as the Son of God -- as God Incarnate, but so often refuse to obey his simple commands. I know the "love your neighbor" thing is tough, especially when Jesus considers everybody to be your neighbor. 
Feeding the hungry, clothing the needy, welcoming the stranger, taking care of the sick -- why do we as a "Christian nation" oppose these things?

It would be one thing if the secular side of the nation opposed these Christian acts, but it is too often the party that professes to be the Christian party that is so against helping those in need. I know it doesn't sound right for the one sharing the gospel message to drop an F-bomb, but I can't help but say, "WTF?"

I like to try to differentiate between what I call Christianism -- believing in the church and doctrinal stuff of Christianity, and actual Christianity -- actually following the teaching and commands of Jesus. The Christian nationalism of today is very much like the Pharisees and Sadducees of Jesus's day. It just seems too weird that the demons are the actual followers of his instruction.

As one who has been demonized by the evangelical church of today, maybe it isn't too weird after all.
It's just sad that actually following Jesus means going against the organized churches that are supposed to be teaching us how to follow Jesus. 
But, I've said it before -- Church leaders teach us to follow church leaders, not Jesus. They have no control of people that follow Jesus. They only have control over people that follow them.

If you know who Jesus is
If you believe he is the Son of God
What are you doing to...
    feed the hungry?
    clothe the needy?
    welcome the stranger?
    help the sick?
    Love your neighbor?

John

Gratitude

I know this isn't the first time that gratitude has been the subject of my morning meditation. It should be something that I consider much more often than I do.

Gratitude comes easy on days like today. Outside is a frozen land, covered in ice from last night's and this morning's continuing freezing rain. I am inside with my coffee, a warm fireplace, and  my Chromebook, and I have no plans or need to go out. A comfortable retirement is a wonderful thing on mornings such as this one.
I have a new book from the library and another on my Kindle app. We have food in the 'fridge and pantry, and we will be cozy, warm and dry throughout the day. 

I am thankful.

John

Cold

Not the frigid kind of cold, but the sick kind of cold.
Man, I've been trying to shake this thing for about a week now. I don't think that last week's cold weather and work schedule have helped any, and I am growing weary of the nasal congestion and coughing.

Although tonight looks like another miserable night, it does appear that we will get a break from this extreme cold weather pattern this week. I feel like I need a little outdoor time and the warmer temps and no overnights should help with that. I don't typically get colds or flu. The exposure from working at the shelter is most likely the issue. This is my second bad cold this season.
I haven't been wearing a mask at the shelter, but I may start. There is a lot of coughing, sneezing, and other germ spreading going on there.

Today I will be resting, healing, and thinking about spring.

John

Leadership vs Followship

Yeah, I know -- followship isn't really a word. It's not even a concept that is considered, but maybe it should be.

This week's lectionary text is from Mark 1:14-20. Read it and then come back.
It's a pretty familiar story -- Jesus calling the brothers Peter and Andrew, and brothers James and John. I don't know what pastors and preachers will be talking about on Sunday. I imagine many will talk about the willingness of the men to leave their nets and businesses and begin to follow Jesus.

But I wonder what Jesus saw in them. These men would eventually become leaders in the movement of following Jesus, but I don't think that Jesus was looking for leaders. In truth, I don't think Jesus is looking for leaders today.
Jesus is still looking for followers.
Churches look for leaders.
Churches control followers.
Church followers worship church leaders.
Yeah, I know -- I'm way too cynical, at least where churches are concerned.

I really don't know what compelled those men to leave everything behind and follow Jesus. Even with what we know about Jesus 2000 years later, the thought of setting everything aside to follow him is an incredible thing. I struggle to follow Jesus and his teachings. I struggle to be less of John and more of Jesus. I don't want to be thought of as some kind of religious leader. I would love to be thought of as a Jesus follower. 
Maybe some day.

In any case, don't follow me. Follow Jesus.
Don't follow your church leaders, either. Follow Jesus.
And for God's sake, don't idolize your church leaders. They aren't worthy of your worship.

I may have to rethink this Thursday Theology thing that follows the lectionary. I don't want it to be a negative thing and when it comes to churches and preachers/pastors in general, I may be a little jaded. I know that's because the preachers/pastors that seem to get the most attention are the ones that work hard to make themselves the center of attention.
The ones that I've really grown to love are the ones that quietly and tirelessly work out the Matthew 25 version of following Jesus. These are the ones I watch. These are the men and women that show me who Jesus is. They expect no praise. They expect no worship. They appreciate those of us that work alongside them to show our neighbors who Jesus is and that God truly loves them.

I know that leadership has its place. Leaders in business, in government, even on sports teams are vital to success. But I think churches would do better to seek after those that model followship. Don't you?

John

Wednesday Wisdom

 

Transporter

I don't have a lot of time to write this morning as I have an early date to give somebody a ride. It's the occasional opportunity like this that sometimes makes me wish we lived a little closer to Springfield.

Over the past several years there have been so many people that have helped my parents by giving them rides to various appointments or to run errands. I feel that my payback (or pay forward) is to do the same for others. I'm not writing this to look for an attaboy or pat on the back. It's just a reminder that there are lots of ways to volunteer in this and other communities.

After a short amount of time and the cost of a little gas, I'll go back to being my normal, least productive member of society. I'll stop at the library to pick up a book that's arrived for me and spend most of the rest of the day sitting on my butt reading. It will be a good day.

Tell me about what you are doing to make your day a good day,

John

An Apology

Not gonna lie -- crisis cold weather shelter duty can be a little trying through the heart of cold weather season. Our shelter area this season is pretty tight, meaning that cots and cages (for dogs) are in close proximity to each other. Although such arrangements are better than sleeping out in the freezing temperatures, it doesn't take long for people to start wearing on each other's nerves. Minor conflicts and arguments arise often and I sometimes feel like a glorified baby sitter with adult charges.

Such conflicts become more frequent as daytime highs remain below freezing and our overnight guests have limited places to go and are kind of stuck with each other for several days without many options for a break. That's the way it is currently.

The other night one of our guests came up to me to apologize.
He said he was sorry for the way he reacted to another person and that he really didn't like being that kind of a person. He continued to express that he hated when he let others dictate his behavior or response in those situations and he would try to be better.

Not only did I appreciate his apology, but it also served as a reminder to me:
Stay true to yourself.
Stay in the moment.
Recognize the frustration that others are experiencing and respond accordingly.

It's easy to grow weary and lose focus when you're busy putting out fires all night.
And it's hard to take the necessary moment to quickly refocus in the midst of it all.
I feel like I've done a poor job of that this past week and need to access the necessary tools to do better in the coming nights. 

So...
My Monday Meditation is on staying calm, staying focused, and remembering who I am in the midst of others' conflicts and frustrations.
While several guests expressed their appreciation of how I have handled the past few nights, I know that I could have (should have) done a better job at restoring peace to our little space.

In the middle of chaos, how do you find your peace and restore your calm?
What methods do you use to bring yourself back into focus?

John

 

"Come and see."

This Sunday's gospel reading is from John's gospel and is found at John 1:43-51.
Go ahead, click the link, read the passage, and then come back here.

The former evangelist in me loves this simple passage. I'm sure there are plenty of good, deep, sound theological lessons to be explored in this passage, but the one that stands out to me is Philip's statement at the end of the 46th verse. He says to his skeptical friend Nathanael, "Come and see."

The same call is used in the fourth chapter of John's gospel when Jesus stops at a well in Samaria. The woman that encountered Jesus at the well goes into town and declares, "Come and see a man that told me all about myself. Could this be the Messiah?"

Today's evangelicals are more likely to help you find Jesus by shoving a Bible down your throat and expecting the ingestion of the Word will make you a Christian. It turns out that there is a sizable difference between professing to be a Christian and actually acting Christlike.

I get that the whole "Come and see" approach to evangelism was very different for Philip and the woman at the well when they could actually bring their friends to Jesus. But we can still show our friends Jesus by acting in a Christ-like manner. 
I know it's not easy, but I think the "Come and see" approach is pretty effective if we can show them what Jesus is like.

"Come and see" is a good invitation to discuss Jesus, God, philosophy, faith, or whatever. It can be a discussion with you, your pastor, or others that might shed some light on the character and teaching of Jesus. Teaching what Jesus taught isn't as tough as you might think. Start with the love God, love your neighbor bit and never get too far from that.
I mean if you're going to use the "Come and see" approach to introduce people to Jesus, you are going to have to produce a Jesus at some point. Just make sure it is God's son Jesus and not some Jesus of your own design.

What are the things you think about when you read this passage?

John

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift is not the kind of music that I typically listen to. Most of the time you will find me listening to classic rock. 
However, I have started listening to some more contemporary music like Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, Dua Lipa, and others that I can't recall at the moment. I hear them on Pandora's Taylor Swift and friends (or something like that) station. While I still can't tell you the name of a single TSwift song, I just figured that it would be a shame to share time on earth with perhaps the most prolific songwriter ever and a top tier entertainer and not listen to and appreciate the excellence of her craft. Her songs seem to tell her stories like country music, but she doesn't sing or perform like a country artist (thank God!).
Besides, I like what I've read about her as a human being. She seems like a genuinely good person. 

Any Swifties among my regular readers?
What are your favorite songs of hers?
What other artists or genres should I be listening to? 

John

Winter in the Ozarks

It is mid-afternoon and the light snow and blustery winds continue here in the Ozarks. By the weekend the temperature will peak with daytime highs in the teens and overnight lows will be single digits to subzero. For my Celsius friends that means it's going to be cold.

Winter plays havoc with the little routine that I have. I miss coffee on the deck in the morning, but coffee by the fireplace isn't too bad. Mostly I miss the afternoons and evenings on the deck. The seasonal job messes with my writing routine and has disturbed my normal quiet time. I'm not sure if it is the change in routine or the exposure to so many people that has disrupted my inner peace, but I suspect it is mostly both. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) rarely affects me and I don't think it is now. I'm just working on a new rhythm with my changing patterns.

Yesterday I finished my second book of 2024, and I have a full library on my Kindle Unlimited app, plus one on order from the Christian County Library.
I have some tree saplings (more like twigs) from the Arbor Day Foundation in pots in the basement and soon I'll be starting some flowers in starter trays and pots.
More reading and a little indoor gardening sounds like a pretty good way to pass the time until spring arrives. 

What do you do during the winter?

John

Sleep

It's estimated that we spend more than 1/3 of our lives trying to fall asleep, sleeping, and trying to wake up.
I have pretty much eliminated the trying to fall asleep and trying to wake up parts of that equation. I go to bed and fall asleep. I wake up and get up. Maybe that's a part of doing well on around just 6 (or fewer) hours of sleep. These days, I typically add a sleep cycle and enjoy around 7.5 hours of sleep per night.

I spent yesterday (Saturday) readjusting my sleep to a typical nighttime mode after putting in my three overnight shifts earlier in the week. All-in-all, it was a pretty non-productive day.

How long, and how well do you sleep daily?
Do you fall asleep easily?
Do you struggle to wake up in the morning?

Retirement is great for going to bed when you're ready to go to sleep and waking up when you're finished sleeping. Even when working, I never really had trouble with either falling asleep, nor waking up. And I generally sleep well.

Do you have a bedtime routine to prepare yourself for sleeping?
Do you have a morning routine for waking up?

As a good sleeper, I am genuinely curious about people that do not rest or sleep well. 

John

First Friday

It is late on the first Friday of 2024. I am sitting here and contemplating the first abbreviated week of the year. 
It is winter in the Ozarks and it snowed for a little bit today. The temperature was just above freezing for most of the day so it was gone quickly. Tonight's temperature is just below freezing and the crisis cold weather shelters are open. I am so grateful for the many volunteers that come and serve on nights like tonight. The steady string of cold nights can stress our volunteer pool as it takes a good number of people every night we are open.

The diversity within the unsheltered population is interesting. Last night one guest was calling me an asshole and another was nearly in tears thanking me and calling me Pastor when he left in the morning.
Weird.
Two guys left the shelter this week saying I kicked them out in the middle of the night, when really I just gave them the option/suggestion that if they didn't want to follow the rules they were free to leave. It is generally a bit of a balancing act to provide a safe, warm environment for everyone to sleep when some are disruptive.

Most of them are unaware of how difficult it was to secure a location for this shelter, or how precarious our position is when it comes to keeping it. I doubt that many of them care -- until we lose it and they find themselves without the option our few beds offer them.
Some of the bs has me growing a little cold toward the community in general. I need to be careful about that. I've gone from going out of my way (as a volunteer) serving them to often feeling like they are ungrateful and wondering why I'm here. It's good to reevaluate my position and make the necessary adjustments.

Not much happening tonight.
Cops called twice (before the shelter even opened and before I got here) and the ambulance once.
Just another night at the shelter.

John

Thursday Theology

I am thinking that I may try to make this a regular weekly feature. There is a part of me that misses the discussions around biblical texts and stories. Putting together a sermon was never really fun, but the experience always seemed to benefit me and sharing what I learned through the prep was generally enjoyable. For me personally, the random texts or "waiting on the Spirit" to guide me was always difficult and I suspect that will continue to be the case.

Therefore, I think that I will choose to use the Liturgical Calendar for my bible texts. I don't know if there are many of my regular readers that attend churches that use this schedule. I suspect that there are not. I haven't fully decided on whether I should be using the last Sunday's text or the coming week's, but will most likely use the coming week.
Also, since I haven't put much thought into it at this particular point, I also haven't done any real study on the text for January 7. 

For this week (and it may be the case in future weeks) I'm just going to give you the text and my gut reaction to it. In any given week, my take on the material and what you'd likely hear from a real pastor/preacher in church will no doubt differ by a great deal. I, after all, am somewhat of a heretic in the world of preachers.

The text, Mark 1:4-11

John the Baptist sees himself as unworthy to be a servant of Jesus, the Messiah. In The Gospel According to John, he says that he must diminish so that Jesus can increase.
This doesn't seem at all like the attitude and character I see from preachers, pastors, and proclaimers of the gospel today. I wonder how church life in general and Christianity in particular would change if our pastors were truly servant leaders rather than persons to be idolized and worshiped. 

As I said, this isn't much in the way of a message today. In fact, it is much more negative and critical than I intend to be if I continue to make this a regular post. Perhaps this first text will serve to remind me of my place in the sharing of the story of Jesus.

Until next time,
John <><

Wednesday Wisdom

 

Something to consider

John

Books

What are your reading plans for 2024?
I ask that like I have a plan -- I don't.

I do plan to read. I'm guessing I'll end up reading 15 to 20 non-fiction books and another 20 to 30 fiction books. Although I'm not much of a philosopher, I do enjoy understanding the faith and philosophies of other belief systems and cultures. I'd gladly add your suggestions to my reading list as it is currently pretty light in the philosophy section.
I'm also up for suggestions on Christian theology and wouldn't mind a conversation partner or group while reading something.
I have several gardening, landscaping and homesteading books that I'll be reading in sections or looking for particular chapters and information as it applies to whatever situation I find myself in at the time. I'm not much of a carpenter, but I also have some woodworking material to help with potential projects around the yard.

On the fiction front, I have a pretty full line-up of titles in my Kindle queue. They range from fantasy with vampires, witches, and werewolves, to mystery, to action thrillers, and even include a couple of romance kind of novels.

I really didn't read as much in '23 as I expected. Hopefully I'll do better in '24.
If it's not something I read on my Kindle app, I don't use another app to track what I read. I may consider that, but I just don't care enough to make it a priority.

So -- What are you reading in 2024?

John

Monday Meditation -- New Year Thoughts

I suppose that January 1st is a good day to look forward towards the coming year. Reflection is also good, but I think looking forward is better for me. Other than using the past to see how far I've come and what lessons I've learned, I'd rather leave the past in the past.

Honestly, I am hopeful for the future.
Sure, it is easy to see the darkness that often dominates the news cycle and the idiocy that is on social media, but I force myself to remember that darkness and idiocy sells. 
It is sad that we are not as moved as a people by good news and good people. There are so many stories of kindness and positive acts that never get the attention of the mainstream media or aren't shared on social media because they just don't generate the hits that the ugly stuff does.

I don't want to ignore the loud, self-serving voices of society, but I am going to spend more time focusing on the positive voices. I was fortunate enough to spend some time with a Springfield City Council member the other night. She spent the night volunteering at the Crisis Cold Weather Shelter at the Fairbanks. Not only does she give of her personal time volunteering, but she seems to be a fierce advocate for the underprivileged and marginalized populations of the city. 
My exposure to the different organizations that work to make life better for our community gives me hope and reminds me of my privilege and obligation to society. While it is true that I contribute little to the world around me, I know that I am a better person just from being around the crusaders that are working to make us better as a community. 

Realistically, I'm probably going to remain a pretty non-productive member of society in 2024. My contributions to the world will be simple things like providing flowers and food for the butterflies, bees, and birds, planting a few trees, recycling what I can, and trying to be a good neighbor.
I'll be on the deck most of the year and am willing to share a drink (beer, bourbon, iced sun tea, chilled lemon water, or hot or iced coffee), a cigar, and some conversation. 
I will try to be more encouraging and supportive of those that are doing the heavy lifting to make the world a better place. I may even get off my butt on occasion and help in the cause.

How are you seeing 2024?
Hopeful?
Or fearful?

John