Life Without Baseball

A few weeks ago, Fox Sports Midwest and Sling TV failed to reach an agreement so my TV provider no longer carries the St Louis Cardinals' games, nor will it carry the St Louis Blues when hockey season begins. I could subscribe to MLB.tv to watch baseball or to an app that will allow me to watch the Blues play this winter. I haven't yet, but I could.

Actually, it hasn't been too bad. I did watch one game on my computer from a sports streaming site. I've listened to a few games on the radio. Mostly I've just kept up with the game progress through the ESPN app and watched game highlights later. In the end, the success or failure of the Cardinals doesn't have much of an impact on my life.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that they are in first place in the division and would be thrilled with another World Series Championship. Having dual champs (hockey and baseball) in St Louis in 2019 would be awesome. But with or without the wins, life goes on.

And I've really become more of an MMA fight fan in recent years. Given the choice of watching the game and checking on the fights tonight or watching the fights and checking on the game -- I'll be watching the fights. It's a great fight card and I'm really looking forward to some of the match ups.
I don't know if it's a plus or a minus, but fighting doesn't have a season. It's a year round sport and you can watch it pretty much every weekend. Fighters at the highest levels make some good money and it has become a big business.

In any case, not watching baseball hasn't hurt me. I guess the big businesses can fight over their dollars and contracts without counting on me to support them. I'll find a movie, an old fight night, or read a book. Football season is about to begin and there is another huge fan base to appeal to. It's funny how much time and money we are willing to invest to watch other people live their dreams.
Sports are big business.

The Cardinals have 42 regular season games left, plus the post season. I'm sure that I'll watch a few of them and continue some of the teasing with friends that cheer for other teams.
But not tonight.

John

Finding Joy in the Moment

I'm enjoying my morning coffee and contemplating life before going out for my daily walk  --
  Not life in the past (There are lessons to be learned from the past, but not right now.)
  Not life in the future (There are plans for the future, but there is no promise of tomorrow.)
I'm just thinking about life right now; in this very moment.
And life is good.

I am learning that we don't always get to live the life we once dreamed of. I'm not saying that you should give up on your dreams. I'm just saying that slowing down enough to enjoy the moment is every bit as important as pursuing tomorrow. It is easy to find peace and joy in the quiet of the morning. I have good coffee (an Ethiopian blend), a comfortable home, laptop and high speed internet, and good health.
It isn't difficult to find joy while out walking, but I have to admit that it takes a little more effort. My walks are pretty purposeful. I don't choose a scenic route or stop to enjoy butterflies and flowers along the way. My walk is to complete the task of walking. But even so, there is joy in the act of completing the task, of progressing towards better health, of feeling a connection to the world around me.

The thing is, as I observe people and look at myself, I see that we are often so focused on doing, striving for something, completing a task, reaching a destination, etc., that we end our days without having experienced a moment of true peace and joy. I know that I have a great advantage in being retired. I have plenty of time to contemplate life and enjoy the moment.

But you have time, too.
Stop. Take just three minutes.
Breathe deeply.
Listen as your heart rate slows.
Gradually slow your breathing.
Feel your body come to rest.
Wait.
Don't rush it.
Let yourself feel the physical part of peace first.
Enjoy the moment.
Love yourself.

Contemplative meditation is a weird thing. It takes lots of practice. Three minutes may seem like a long time at first. Many say that it takes twenty minutes to move beyond this first stage into a more serene and beneficial time of meditation. I've found that a daily practice of even a few minutes helps to find joy in even the most mundane tasks. Chores like mowing the lawn become less of a job and more of a joy when I look at it as taking care of something that I value.
I can somehow find peace in living in the Ozarks even though I had hoped to retire to a Mexican beach. I can live without much of what I desire. I can live without much of what I have. I am learning gratitude for the many blessings I enjoy.

Thank you for sharing a few moments of your day with me.
I wish you a peaceful and joyful moment in your day.

John <><

Wednesday Wisdom

"The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back."
-- Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby)

Surrendering Freedom

Let's face it. We do it all the time.
We voluntarily surrender some of our freedom every time we get into our cars to travel on public roads.
We surrender some of our freedom when we arrive at work, school or a public park.
We surrender some of our freedom when we get married or even enter into a close relationship with someone. We most definitely surrender some of our freedom when we have kids ...
... or buy a house
... or join a church
... or go on a particular diet
So many of the choices we make require surrendering parts of our freedom -- and we do it every day!

But we'll make no compromise on guns.
No universal background checks.
No bans on certain types of weapons.
No limits on magazine capacity.
No restrictions on who can carry nor on where they can carry.
No ...
No ...
No ...

We would rather risk our lives and the lives of our children whenever we send them to school, take them to church, go to a movie, or even just stop by the grocery store for a candy bar and soda.
I guess they are (and we, ourselves are) less valuable than the freedom we so tightly cling to.

It has been a few days.
There really isn't a question of if there will be another mass shooting. The only questions are --
When?
Where?
and How many more will die?

What kind of people are we that the best we can hope for is that it won't be here and it will be somebody else's loved one that dies?

John

Zen

I'll admit that I know little about Zen and the practice of Zen meditation. However, it has long been a personal belief that all living things produce an energy and energy frequency, and we can (with practice) connect our energies. I think I have felt this even before Star Wars brought the idea of The Force to the teen version of myself.

I have never had a meditation teacher, nor have I ever had a regular practice of meditation. I have often used meditation practices to quiet my mind to sleep, to relax, or to release stress. I am not certain where that type of thinking came from, nor am I certain of how long I've been quietly using meditation as a way of emptying my mind and allowing my spirit to freely take control. (I'm not sure that's the best way to describe it, but it's the best I have at this point.)

I have never consciously studied or followed the teachings of Buddha and it has been nearly forty years since I read a book on the life of Siddhartha Gautama. (At the time I started reading it, I did not know that this was The Buddha.) Over the years, I have read books on other belief systems and world religions. Although many of them predate Jesus, most of them are very much in line with the teachings of Jesus when it comes to living life in harmony with others.

One thing that I've noticed is that evangelical Christians seem far more interested in the afterlife and often seem to miss the joy of the present moment. If we follow the voice of Jesus (John 10), I believe that the good life he promises isn't limited to the afterlife, but also includes a present life of love, peace, and joy.
I know that many of my evangelical friends will worry that I think that the teachings of eastern religions are compatible with the teachings of Jesus (or the other way around since they predate Jesus). You need not worry about me. The truth is -- I worry that you are so concerned with the afterlife that you are missing out on the great joy that God has for you to enjoy this very day!

I urge you to take the time to find God today. It doesn't require a great journey or pilgrimage.
He is in you!
Find a place without distractions. Leave your phone in another room or turn it off. Be aware of your breathing. Feel your heart beat. Then let it all go and listen for God. If you get distracted, if other thoughts creep into your head, come back to your breathing, come back to your heartbeat. Letting go takes practice. If you find it difficult to recognize the voice of the Good Shepherd, it might be because you've never really taken the time to listen. Maybe there has always been too much noise in your head. 

Be still.
Find quiet.
Feel love.
Know peace.

John <><

At the Movies (and Blogoversary)

It has been thirteen years that I've been posting at Out of My Hat!
Wow! I never imagined that it would be something that I stayed with for so long.

I definitely miss a few of the many blogs that have fallen out of the blogosphere over the years. It's probably not a bad thing. I spend enough time reading the blogs that are still posting and the few others that I've added to my regular reading. Scrolling through blogs and checking social media while enjoying my coffee has become the normal way I begin each day. Occasionally, I find something worth writing about. Many days I just sigh and pass on writing.

A recent rant that has come to mind is -- What has happened to creativity in Hollywood?
There are so many remakes of old movies, sequels to movies, and movies based on old stories or comics.
Are there so few new ideas?
I have to admit that I'm not a big movie fan so I could have it all wrong. It may be that it has always been like this, or it maybe that I'm seeing trailers for a very small segment of the overall industry.
It's just an observation from a non-interested person.

I've been to two movies in the past week -- Yesterday (cute, entertaining, funny story, movies on 60s and 70s performers/music seems to be a new thing) and Lion King (pretty much the same as the animated movie, cute but a waste of money).

If I go to another movie soon, what are your recommendations?
Any recent movies that are no longer "Now Playing" that I should rent or find on a streaming feed?
Tell me why you like it and why I will like it.

John <><

Heavy-hearted, Helpless and Hopeless

There have been many days in the past few months when I've sat before my keyboard wanting to write but felt too helpless and to hopeless to actually manage to begin tapping something out. It is not possible to put into words just how much despair I feel as I consider the state of hatred and division in this country (US).

The fear mongering tactics of our current leadership has divided families, churches, and communities. We see and hear hatred from our president and it gives encouragement for others to express hatred. Non-violent pacifists try to overcome the hate with love, but hate is always so much louder and attention grabbing. Hate dominates the news. Hate breeds haters. Hate spreads even where love quietly works.

So --
How can we love loudly?

I once thought that if we expose lies and shine a light on hatred that we could put an end to it. I was wrong. Liars just lie more and haters love the attention. In an age where we have access to so much information, people choose to remain ignorant and consistently seek out sources that reinforce their beliefs rather than searching for the truth. Outlets that expose lies are mocked, called biased, and ignored by those that would rather believe the lie than change their minds. I have never known a time when people are so afraid of other people.

I am sad for what we have become and uncertain that it will change anytime soon.
I know loving people.
I see loving actions.
I read loving stories.

But the fear
the hate
is everywhere.
And it is loud.

I always think that love must become louder than hate, but that's not the way of love. In the Christmas song O Little Town of Bethlehem, there is a line that says, "How silently, how silently the wondrous gift is given..."
That is the way of love -- silent and purposeful.
If we can't love louder, maybe we need to love more.
Maybe we are not as helpless and life is not as hopeless as it seems.

Honestly, my heart is still heavy
but perhaps, there is hope.
Perhaps, there is love.

John <><

Final Words

I watched a TED Talk where the speaker posed the question, "With how many people that you know have you already had your final conversation?"

Of course, there are people that have died and it could be that your final conversation with them was very emotional and intense. There are those people that enter into our lives for a short season (or maybe for a long season), but that season has passed and they will no longer be a part of our journey. And there are people that we choose to no longer contact or to engage in any way.

But what about all of the others?
What about the people that are still living and we know/see/like/love/etc, but we have somehow just grown apart and moved on without them? What about the people with which we would like to sit down and have one more conversation -- to catch up on their lives, to make amends, to tell them they are loved, to hear their voice, or to sense their presence?

Are we satisfied to have left all of those people without one more conversation?
Will they even remember us or the last conversation we had?
Is that important? ...to us? to them? to anyone?

Hmmm...?

John <><

I'm well. Thank-you.

I'm well.
That is my standard response to the common greeting "How are you?"
Well is an adverb and describes my state of being.
Good is an adjective and describes a thing -- I'm a good person, or That's a good cookie.

I get that "I'm good" is a more common and accepted response and I accept it without thinking anything about it, but there are other common errors that kind of bug me and cause me to figuratively cringe on the inside.

Literally vs figuratively
The misuse of literally has become so common that virtually and figuratively now appear as definitions for literally in most dictionaries.

Less vs fewer
Less is for a measured amount. Fewer describes a counted amount.
There are fewer days in a week than there are in a month.
I care less about well vs good than about less vs fewer.

What are your linguistic pet peeves?
Just wondering...

John <><

How can I not be noticed?

The struggle is real.
If I could somehow manage to only be noticed in the social media world, but remain anonymous in real life, that would be cool. But it seems that being noticed in the social media world gets you noticed in real life, as well.

I went through my Instagram account today and dropped a bunch of follows and muted a few more stories. Facebook becomes more of a problem because it isn't like someone can follow me, but I don't have to be their friend. I feel like a bit of a jerk if I don't "follow" someone that is supposedly my friend. The truth is that there are a quite a few Facebook people that I know (or more correctly, know of) that aren't really my friends.

I've been getting people from church that have made friend requests. There have been a few that I have no idea of who they are and I have declined them. Many I know who they are or have an idea of how we are connected and I've added them. Some I have unfollowed -- not because of anything offensive or bothersome, but just because I have nothing other than church in common with them. If they want to continue to follow me, that's cool. It's also okay if they don't. I can't think of anyone that I've requested to be friends with in quite sometime.

I've seriously considered abandoning the whole social media thing as a means of keeping up on others. I probably use my Twitter feed for keeping informed more than anything. I still have regular blogs that I read and have often considered that it may be time to shutdown Out of My Hat. In a week it will be the 13th anniversary of my first post. I'll probably keep writing for personal fulfillment and not worrying as much about content or hits. That's pretty much the way I started -- just a place to write. I care much less about self promotion or sharing my own thoughts with others than I have in the past.

Recently, someone asked me if I am a recluse.
I've never thought about that, but it seems like it would be an okay life. Truthfully, I don't mind being around people if I don't have to interact with them too much. I'm comfortable in a stadium packed with baseball fans or sitting on my deck alone and watching the game on my computer. I never really feel like I have to be alone. I just like it that way. I also never feel like I need to be around people. I just accept that sometimes I have to if I'm going to function as a part of society.

I think it's a little weird that most people feel the need to be connected with everyone they meet. When I meet someone, I never think "We should be friends on Facebook!"
I'm still more likely to give them my phone number and tell them to call me if they want to get together for coffee or something. Maybe I'm just old or less willing to adapt than I realize.

See?
That's what writing does for me. It helps me with self reflection and self assessment.
Now I need to decide if I think like an old person and if that's a good thing or not. I have choices to make -- change or be comfortable with how I am.
Hmmm...
Maybe life would be easier if I didn't write.

John <><