I did a thing...

I finally did something that I've been wanting to do for some time.
I bought this combo gas/charcoal grill and smoker.

It's an old school offset smoke box instead of the more advanced pellet auger, temperature controlled smokers that are available, but I'm pretty old school so it fits. Lowes has free assembly and delivery for grills over $350 so it will be delivered (assembled) on Monday.

I've never used a smoker before. I just love smoked meats. I haven't even used a charcoal grill in many years!
I am looking forward to experimenting and learning to regulate the temperature and smokiness and flavor of the smoker while still enjoying the convenience of the gas grill from time to time. I imagine I'll be spending some YouTube time as a part of my smoker education.

I hope that I enjoy it as much as I anticipate I will. Learning to successfully operate my smoker will be my summer retirement project!

John

Thursday Theology

I know I said I was skipping this week, but I felt like sharing some of my heretical thoughts this morning so here I am. I am going to skip the Lectionary readings and just go with some thoughts on the crucifixion and resurrection.

I've come to seriously question the idea that Jesus had to die to satisfy some kind of sin debt for humanity. What kind of monster god would do that?
Have you ever really thought about the kind of scary crap we teach our kids?
God sacrificed his son, and 
...wait for it - You are a child of God!
Hmmm...

It may be true that Jesus died for our sins and opened heaven for humanity -- but that would be for everyone, right?
Or is it just for a select portion of humanity?

What if Jesus came to teach us how God loves us -- unconditionally?
What if Jesus came to teach us how God forgives and how we are to forgive?
Even in the shame and humility of the cross -- Jesus had forgiveness for those that condemned him.
His whole life taught us to love society's unlovable, to stand for those that are being oppressed, to forgive those that have wronged us. 
Over and over, he taught -- The kingdom of heaven is at hand. It's here! Quit trying to earn something you already have and start to live and love like you are a child of God and an heir to eternal life.

I still believe that Jesus is divine.
I believe the resurrection shows us that this person was no ordinary human being.
But is it possible that we have missed the point of his death?
Isn't it weird that we've put more emphasis on his death and resurrection than we have on his life and what he taught us?

These are the kind of thoughts that can get a guy kicked out of a conservative, evangelical church.
Ask me how I know!

John

Wednesday Wisdom

 

More Reflections on Religion

I often have thoughts of my former life as a Southern Baptist evangelist and the way that I once shared the beliefs that I held. Facebook memories and conversations around religious deconstruction bring the past back into my thoughts, often with mixed feelings.
Magic was a good way to share my beliefs back then, and there were always plenty of opportunities to do that. That really isn't the case today and so magic has become a thing of the past. My magic persona was built around evangelism (hence the moniker - magicianary) and if I were to take it up again, I'd need to be a new type and style of magician.

While I do consider my religious and spiritual growth/evolution from time to time, I seldom organize those thoughts to write about it or to discuss it at length. 
It now looks like I will have the opportunity to write about and share some of the benefits and trauma of making changes in how I perceive God, Jesus, the Bible, and a host of other sacred subjects. I think I am looking forward to that and writing about the how and why some of my thoughts and perspectives have changed, as well. 
It will be a project that will take place over the next couple of months and I'll share more about it as the resource becomes public and available for everyone. For now, it is time to organize my thoughts into something that will make sense in written form.
Wish me luck.

John

Palm Sunday and Easter

I'm taking the easy way and skipping Thursday Theology for this week and next week.
1)  There is so much that has been said and could be said about the events surrounding Palm Sunday and the crucifixion and resurrection.
2)  I am still working on reconciling the stuff I've been taught with what I believe to be true about Jesus and our place in the kingdom of heaven.

Here are a couple of my weird thoughts:

If it was necessary for Jesus to be betrayed and crucified, then didn't Judas and the High Priests do what they were supposed to do to bring those events to happen?
How was it a sin for them to do what God needed for them to do? 

I have way more questions than I have answers and there really isn't anyone qualified to answer my questions other than those that confidently offer their bullshit to control and manipulate the masses.

sigh

Maybe I'll come up with something else for next week.
Maybe I won't.

John

Wednesday Wisdom

 

It's Still Winter!

It seems as if Nature is reminding us that there are still a few more hours of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. Last night's temperatures were below freezing, and tonight's are forecast to be the same. I imagine that will damage some plants and early blossoming trees, but nature can be fickle.

Because of the extra winter day (Leap Day) this year, the Vernal Equinox takes place on March 19th. It doesn't happen until just after 10 PM here in the Midwest, so it will still be like the 20th is the first day of spring. With high temps today still being in the low 40s (6c), I'm calling it a stay inside day and not planning on doing much. I may be spending a final night at the shelter if there isn't a volunteer for tonight, so an easy day is a good plan for me.

As nature marks the passing of time with the changing seasons, this morning I'm thinking about the passing of time in my own life -- how I've arrived where I am, and what direction I seem to be heading.
I'm wondering about the outside forces or people that influence my thinking and doing in life. Some are influential because I've chosen to seek their wisdom, others are more forceful about how they bend the course of my life.
I'm not much of a fatalist, believing that things happen in a predetermined course, but rather I believe that the choices we make and the things we do set both the individual paths of our lives and influence the courses of the people and the communities that we touch.

So I am thinking...
How do you (or do you) determine the people and forces that you allow to influence your thoughts and actions?
Do you have a go-to person or persons that you see for guidance or counseling?
Do you seek spiritual guidance or believe in a Higher Power?
Or do you just go with the flow as the earth hurtles through space and time marches on?
What are you thinking about as one season ends and another begins?

John

Thursday Theology

I've been rethinking this Thursday Theology thing.

First of all, I am no theologian and don't want anyone to think that I am.
In all honesty, I think that theologians are an arrogant lot. The idea that we can study God and know what God is thinking is pretty ludicrous. We use the words of men, say they are inspired by God, and then define and redefine them so we can say we know the mind of God. It seems to me that a task like that is far above the pay-grade of humanity, much less a poor, uneducated, insignificant fool like me.

According to this week's gospel reading, many of us (humans) can't recognize the voice of God when we hear it. That is an ideal condition for anyone that wants to insert their own will as that of God. It's no wonder that we are so easily manipulated as adherents to any kind of organized religion.
We (humans) want to be told what we need to do to curry favor with God.

Maybe a label of That's the way I see it! would be better than Thursday Theology. I'd lose the alliteration, but it would probably be more fitting. 
Hmmm...

I think I'll leave it as is. I don't expect the few readers I have to be misled by my wayward thoughts, and those of you that do read regularly already know I am an uneducated, insignificant fool when it comes to trying to figure out what God is all about. 

Wednesday Wisdom

 

Normal

What is normal?
And is it okay to be abnormal?

I would say that it is normal for an introvert to prefer not to spend a lot of time around other people.
It might be abnormal to really shun society and remain very isolated from other people -- even loved ones.
Damn, I think I am moving towards that abnormal range. The more time I spend with people, the more I think I should not be in that place.

I really do enjoy conversations about ideas and ideals.
I really do not enjoy talk about other people or mundane things.
Sometimes it is difficult to relate experiences without talking about people. I get that, and as long as the focus is on the experience and not the people, I'm okay.
I don't like small talk, and I don't like people that wander deep into the weeds when telling a story.

For example--
If you are telling a story of something that happened at work that involves -- say, Sally -- I don't need to know that Sally went to such-and-such high school, has three kids, drives an EV, and really needs to do something with her hairstyle unless that is relevant to the story -- which is unlikely.
Tell me the effing story without the unnecessary details.

Maybe I need help -- like some kind of counseling.
Even when I do venture out into public, I don't mind going out by myself. I go to baseball games by myself. I go listen to some friends play music by myself. I go to craft breweries by myself. And I usually do interact and talk with people at those places -- or not. I don't know if that's weird or odd or abnormal, but it's me and I don't mind. 

Mostly I don't mind being with people for short periods of time. I generally won't be the one to initiate an outing, but I usually enjoy meeting for a drink or a meal and some good conversation. A one-on-one, or a few people is way better than a crowd. Although people often tell me that I am good with people and make them feel comfortable, I don't know if I really do. I know it's work to make others feel comfortable and safe. It's a good thing if I succeed. It's also one of those things that you might never really know.

Anyway--
just some weird things in my head these days.

John

Raindrops on roses...

One of my recent gratitude prompts asked, "What makes you happy?" or "When are you happiest?" or something like that.

I've been thinking about that.
I'm mostly a pretty content guy that isn't really sure about how to best define being happy. I enjoy nice afternoons sitting on the deck (like now), but I don't know if I would say it makes me happy. I'd say that what I feel is contentment.

I enjoy a good cigar, a good bourbon or tequila, and I enjoy sharing those things with others that also enjoy them. I don't think I'd say they make me happy.
I like working in the garden or at least I recognize that working in the garden is necessary to be able to enjoy the flowers later in the year. I do enjoy watching the butterflies and hummingbirds at the beautiful flowers.
Again, I don't know if I'd describe that as being happy.

Being together as a family or just getting to spend time with the kids makes me happy. I am really looking forward to getting together in Mexico in a few weeks.
I'd also say that getting together with members of my birth family also makes me happy.

It's weird.
I certainly am not a sad person. In fact, I am generally pretty upbeat and positive. I'm just not sure that happy is the best way to describe myself. 

How about you?
What makes you happy?

John

Monday Meditation: finding my place

Since my retirement I have become a pretty non-productive member of society. I've come to terms with that and am okay with it. A good pension, a little retirement savings, and Social Security have put me in a comfortable retirement place. I no longer have to produce anything in the way of product nor service to barter for food, housing, or necessities of life.
I am still a consumer. I still contribute to society by paying for those things. I just don't have to do the work part anymore.

Last week I spent some time talking with a friend of mine. It was a guy that I really enjoy spending time with. It's weird that I know there are people that I get so much benefit from just being in their presence, and yet I never really think that I might be that person for someone else.
Recent comments from others along with some recent interactions are starting to make me aware that it may actually be the case and I'm processing how I feel about it. It seems like a pretty big responsibility.

Maybe my current and future contributions to society will be simple like growing flowers for birds, bees, and butterflies. Maybe I'll find myself just being present and sharing some positive energy with others from time to time. I'm really too lazy and too unskilled to do much else at this point in life. I know several other retired air traffic controllers that are doing jobs, starting businesses, investing in income producing hobbies, and otherwise being productive members of society.
I'm just sitting on my deck drinking coffee and sharing the futon with Groucho the cat.
And I'm okay with that.

I planted some spring bulbs yesterday and hope to start some more seeds in pots today. That's my productivity schedule for the day.
Oh! And I need to do some laundry. That would be good.

Are you where you want to be in life?
Or in a place that will get you there?
For better or worse, I am content.

John

Sunny Sunday

I am really enjoying my morning coffee and quiet time on the deck.
I know there will still be mornings when it is going to be too cold to be comfortable out here, but I am going to enjoy being out here more often as we get closer to spring and summer. 

I suppose "quiet time" is a bit of a misnomer. The morning chatter from the birds, the dogs barking in the distance, and the constant hum of traffic from the nearby highway are not very quiet. Even so, this is my peaceful (if not quiet) place.
I had a thought that I might actually go to church this morning, but I'm pretty comfortable here and I don't think that being in a building with a bunch of people will bring me any closer to my Creator. It's true that there is a benefit to the corporate worship (the musicians, singers and worship leader at The Venues are excellent) and the message is usually very good, but I am finding church time to be less and less beneficial to my everyday relationship with God and all things spiritual. The church community is beneficial and there are always people there that I am happy to see. I'm just not certain that the few moments of "Hi, how are you?" are enough to make me want to actually be there.

I hope that today will be a good day for you.
I hope that you find time to connect with God through nature or through other people.
I hope that the warm, sunny mornings will continue to be more frequent and that cool ones will fade away as winter finally comes to an end.
I hope...

John 

March 1st

March 1st
9 PM
From anywhere in the Northern Hemisphere 
Face due south and look up

That bright star is Sirius, the Dog Star.
Sirius is easy to find on any night when it's out. It's just to the left of the constellation Orion. Above Sirius you'll find the Gemini twins, Castor and Pollux. Above and to the right of Orion you can find the Pleiades cluster and Aldebaran, the red eye of Taurus the bull.

The constellation of Orion is very large and includes the Orion Nebula, the bright white Rigel, and the red super giant Betelgeuse. 
Although I love looking at this area of the night sky, I am looking forward to these winter stars moving on and making way for the stars of spring and summer.

John