Thursday Theology: Taking a fresh look

I need to take a fresh look at Christianity -- not the Christianity that I've been taught by Catholics or evangelicals, but the type of Christianity that one would have from actually following the teachings of Jesus, the Christ. I have a basic set of morals that I follow and I realize that they come from my religious upbringing and evolution, as well as from societal norms. I feel I need to examine those foundational basics in a way that I really haven't done in the past. 

I, like many others in the recent past, have been critical of conservative Christians that profess to follow Jesus but act out in ways that are contradictory to his teachings as I understand them. 
What if it turns out that I am not that different?

Just thinking that it is a possibility makes me wonder what I might do if that is the case.
Do I continue to think of myself as a follower of Jesus -- except in cases that I'm not?
Do I adjust my beliefs and behaviors to come into line with what Jesus teaches?
Do I decide that I am no longer a follower of Jesus? 
And if that is the case, from whom or from where do I gather the thoughts and ideals that form my basic beliefs on life and living?

I don't think this is a journey for the timid. 
My greatest concern is that I end up being my own god -- determining for myself what is right and wrong in the world based on what works for John. We have more than enough self-gods in our world that have little or no concern for the rest of the world around them. I don't want to be thought of as just one more.

I truly believe that we are connected to one another and to the earth and wildlife around us. How we treat the environment and how we treat each other affects us all. 
How does that square with what Jesus teaches?

I guess I'll find out.

John