Connections -- past and present

I'm scrolling through FB memories and it's the time of year when a lot of posts from past kids' and youth camps are showing up. They are good memories from a past life. I know that I no longer fit into that world of evangelicalism. It's a little sad that there isn't a similar environment for kids in my present theological setting, but the truth is I wonder how long it would last without some kind of corruption and mind control/indoctrination seeping in.

I was always careful in such settings. There was never an "altar call" where kids would come forward to "be saved." I always wanted those conversations to be one-on-one with a cabin counselor or with me. I'm pretty sure that if I wanted to make a show of it, I could have had most of them up on the stage or down on their knees saying the magic prayer to get them into heaven. Personally, I never want to have to answer to God for that kind of child manipulation.

I've long been more of a relationship with God kind of end game rather than a ticket to heaven when you die kind of guy, and I don't think that sits very well in the evangelical world. I'm still very much a Jesus follower and look to him for my connection to God/Creator/Higher Power/or whatever your name for God is. I'm kind of sad that I don't have any of those old connections anymore. We shared some fun times and served well together for that season of life.

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Today I deal with a different kind of uncomfortable connection.
I was invited to be a part of a kind of input group for the renewing of our church's downtown group at 425 Walnut. There's been this chat on messenger today and I'm once again wondering how I fit in this group of energetic and creative young minds. Maybe I'm just the token open-minded old guy. 

I get that I have a way of making people feel comfortable and (maybe) even safe around me. It isn't unusual for people that I don't know well to share very personal things with me. Most people mistake my easy nature for being very comfortable around large groups of people -- I'm not.

I've learned to cope by keeping my focus on a few individuals rather than the large group. In fact, being able to move from one person to another in small conversation isn't so bad. It is often easier than just having one person that you run out of things to talk about. I'm not much of a small talk person.
That's not to say that I can't or don't have long, meaningful conversations with people; just not usually in those kind of group settings.

Assessing the value of connections, both past and present, can be an interesting process. I tend to go with my gut. Letting go of past relationships can be difficult. Often, even toxic relationships offered us something of value. 
And relationships shouldn't just be about what we gain from them. I think the best relationships are formed by what we contribute rather than by what we take. 
Okay, the best relationships are probably in what we share with one another, but you get what I mean, right?

I should probably work on having more of those.
Maybe I'll reach out and make a connection with a couple of people today -- one past, one present.
Maybe not.

John