Way back in the day, when I wrote my very first post at Out of My Hat, I mentioned writing a book on Joy Management. I'm probably in a much better place to write about joy management now than I was fourteen years ago. And that's a good thing since I've never done anything with that simple idea -- not a single sentence on joy management.
Actually, I was thinking along the lines of sharing my philosophical journey from being raised in a Roman Catholic home, to becoming a Southern Baptist evangelist, to becoming a more contemplative and less judgmental heretic and someone that is just working on being more like Jesus.
Being more like Jesus is tough. First you have decide which Jesus you want to be like. I really don't want to be like the evangelical idea of Jesus. I get the Savior of the world thing, but I can't really do that. Being Savior seems to be the only thing they are concerned with and that following Jesus and his commands has seemingly fallen by the wayside. It appears that many Christian denominations are still focusing on the Jewish perception of a judgmental God (Old Testament) rather than the loving and merciful God that Jesus came to show us (New Testament).
I was wondering -- how would I go about such a book and do I need a title or at least a theme to follow.
Originally I thought something like -- When I found myself, I found God. In my head that sounded better than it looks in print.
I don't think of myself as God, but I do recognize that God is in me and finding God in me has been at the heart of my spiritual and philosophical journey. Working through all of the filters and masks to find ourselves is difficult enough, much less trying to find God in all of that.
I came up with this: After you throw out all of the filters, masks, and fake personalities that we use to look like someone we are not, we can finally identify our true self. This has taken some thought and a lot of time, but I'm getting close -- I think. Once you've discovered who you really are (your true self), if you can dismiss that person, what's left is God living in you and through you.
I really don't know if that even makes any sense. I have to think it about some more.
But...
When I got to barchurch last week, Pastor Ben was teaching in the Book of Job and he talked about the idea of emptying ourselves before God. I don't know if that was an affirmation of what I've been thinking or if God is telling me that I still need to figure it out.
What I have discovered over the years of searching is that the contemplation, the figuring it out isn't a part of the journey; it is the journey.
Think about it.
John
2 comments:
Nice.
I agree. I also was raised Catholic but my Mom would miss Mass often on Sunday and would use the Lord's name as a curse word. I went to Catholic school k through 12. For a long time as a little girl I believed that my Mom was going to go to hell as I was carefully taught. At age 31, through a beautiful set of circumstances, Jesus pursued me in such a way that I couldn't have missed. I stayed in the Catholic church for seven years because my husband reminded me we had promised to raise them Catholic. When he was saved seven years later we went to nondenominational churches for years. I was so happy to be taught the Bible every week. When I was 53 I was hired as church secretary for a small community church. I was secretary for only 4 years because I broke my leg and wasn't able to walk for 8 months. My husband died of cancer 2 years later. I was at that church for 21 years. It was an off shoot of Lutheranism but the Pastor taught only the Bible. He left 6 years ago to another state and I stayed still. The new Pastor put me to sleep with my eyes open and I has to leave. My love forJesus seems less as a widow.
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