People Interactions

Well, I have had several positive interactions with new people this week. I'm not sure what that's all about, but it wasn't bad. Some conversations were initiated by others, a couple were from my asking questions. One situation was about making new people feel welcome at our Barchurch gathering. Being the new people among a group that already knows each other can be awkward, so finding ways to engage new people is a way to make them feel comfortable enough to come back. Bourbon seemed to be a common interest last night and that is an easy conversation to build from.

I ordered some new eyeglasses this week. One pair that I tried on was a little snug in the temples. The woman helping me made a comment about her own Hispanic background and big head and having difficulty finding a good fit. 
I wasn't sure if she was just commenting on my big head or if she recognized some Spanish heritage, but I asked about her background and we had a good conversation about that. Her maternal great-grandmother was from Spain (near Madrid) and her father's family was from northern Mexico. She was born in southern Texas, not far from the border. It was late in the day and no one else was in the shop, so we had an enjoyable conversation while she helped me select and order my frames and lenses. She thanked me for the enjoyable conversation as I left.

Sometimes people need to be seen. And oftentimes they just need permission or encouragement to talk about themselves. While some people love to talk about themselves and rarely ask about others, many need to be coaxed into sharing bits of their lives and need to feel comfortable before doing that.

I generally try to refrain from asking people what they do for a living.
I don't want to know what you do as much as I want to know who you are.
If people identify with their work, they will tell you that without being asked. Most people are way more interesting than their jobs. Some people have interesting jobs and I love hearing about them, but that's not usually where I want to begin when getting to know somebody.

There are certainly people that are passionate about their fields and have chosen them because of that passion. They do their work because that is who they are. 
Most of us do what we have to do to survive and hopefully we can make the time and have the resources to enjoy being our true selves and real lives whenever we get away from those jobs.

What do you want people to know about you?
If you could choose how people identify you, what would that be?

John