The Struggle is Real

The violence in the USA is out of control and I am struggling with my own response to the events of the violent attacks that took place yesterday -- the school shooting in Colorado where two students were injured and the shooter took his own life, and the murder of political activist, Charlie Kirk.

One of the things that I am struggling with is that I don't think Mr. Kirk would expect us to do anything in response to the events but to carry on with our lives. He, himself, would have no empathy for the victims of violence, nor for their families, and would consider the victims, including himself, collateral damage and the price we pay to have our guns.
While these things seem ridiculous, I fear that he was not alone in his assessment of gun violence and many people feel the same way. Perhaps that is why we continue to have violent events -- Every. F***ing. Day.

Perhaps my greatest struggle is that I fear I am becoming someone that I don't want to be, someone that I despise. It is easy to say Mr. Kirk was a victim of his own making -- that he stoked the political fires and put on the target. It is easy to say that karma is a bitch and he reaped what was sown in his own statements.
But that is not who I want to be. 

I want to feel compassion for the students that were shot and for the students that go to school in fear. 
I want to express condolences to the kids that lost a father, to the woman that lost her husband, and also to the ones that loved the shooter that died.
I want to believe that there is never an acceptable time for political violence in a country where violence is becoming the only language that gets heard. 

Have I become numb to the daily violence because it happens so often?
...or is it because it just hasn't affected me?
Have I become a person that just doesn't care?
...that lacks empathy?
...that sees violence as a way of life in the US?
...that sees hatred as a part of who we (I) have become?

Our culture tends to believe that violence is the only effective response to anger (even righteous anger). We tend to react quickly and violently to things that anger us. We yell. We strike back. We aim to hurt or destroy.
Other cultures and traditions teach us to acknowledge our anger, to embrace it and understand why we are angry, and then to use it to direct us towards an acceptable solution. 

How are you dealing with your feelings today?
Are you struggling?
You are not alone.

John