No Purpose...

Note: I've read this post and it seems to be a collection of random and disorganized thoughts that have found their way into a mini rant of sorts. Sorry. It's just what has spilled out of my brain and onto the keyboard this morning.

I'm sitting (alone) on my deck this morning and thinking about several conversations and posts that I've had/read in the recent past. It has me wondering about my anti-social attitudes and if they are unusual or unhealthy.

One person posted about a friend from the distant past that had reached out to contact him and how good it made him feel. Good for both of them!
Today's social media has made it possible to keep some kind of connection (not really) to people, but it is not the same as the personal touch of a call or personal message. Over the years there have been a few people that I have kept in touch with by an occasional phone call or contact of some kind. At some point, I realized that our contact was always initiated by me and began to wonder if our friendships weren't just one sided.  After not initiating contact for some time, I'd have to say that is probably the case.

Other conversations and thoughts have to do with retirement or people being bored. I really don't understand the boredom part. I have a good amount of control over my day and if I am bored, I should do something! I can understand being bored if you are confined to your home because of illness or injury, but that isn't the case with retirement. I was more often bored at work than I have been at home.
Sure, there are things that I'd like to do but can't because of cost, time, Chris still working or any number of things; but that doesn't mean that I can't do anything. And I really am okay doing things alone and without any significant personal interaction with people.

I was asked about "my purpose in life" now that I am retired.
I don't know that my purpose had anything to do with working as an air traffic controller. My job was to control airplanes. I don't do that anymore (and am just fine with that).
I don't know what my purpose is (or was). And I'm not sure that I really care.

I am learning that most people don't really care what I think about any given subject. We all like to share what we think about things, but don't want to hear what others think. Conversing and learning from each other seems to be a thing of the past. Perhaps the shift to news via 140 characters and other condensed forums has shifted our thinking patterns to being unable to process the necessary amount of information to make good judgments. We now hear brief news bytes and read short statements and believe that we have the complete stories.
I say this because I have noticed that I converse less than I used to. If I don't see our conversation as an exchange of thoughts and ideas that will cause one or both of us to think through our own positions, conversation just seems like a waste of time.

Anyway, I don't know that I need to know what "my purpose" in life is.

Ministry?
Yeah, it's something I do.
Do I get fulfillment from it?
I don't know. It's just something I do.
I think it is something I do well and I think that it is worth doing well.
But is it my purpose?
Who knows?

It's kind of weird having people question me about not feeling the need to have people interactions. I know that the people that do don't really understand the feelings and attitudes of introverts. I don't think of myself of being anti-social until somebody points out that it's strange that I can go days without any significant personal contact and be okay with it.

I'm pretty simple.
I enjoy simple things.
Today I am enjoying my coffee on the deck, listening to the birds in the trees, the coolness of the morning, and knowing that I having nothing pressing to accomplish today. (Except to go pee, I really need to wrap this up and go pee! A pot of coffee will do that to you.)

John <><