Sunday Self-assessment

I've been doing a lot of thinking about Christianity -- Christian Nationalism, Christianity as understood by, well -- Christians, and simply being a follower of Jesus.

The way I see it:

I don't believe that Christian Nationalism is anything like Christ -- not in name, not in morality, not in any way. In fact, it is generally in direct opposition to the teachings of the Christ, Jesus.

Christianity as understood by Christians isn't really too far removed from the crusaders or colonist of the past. While today's Christian churches and people may not go to the same extremes as the church of history, there is still both social and spiritual condemnation and isolation instead of the physical torture and execution of the infidels that refuse conversion. 

Followers of Jesus should be about caring for the marginalized of our society, taking care of people in need, speaking out against injustice, and doing that love your neighbor/love God thing.

I honestly don't really fit into any of these definitions.
While I certainly agree with the teachings of Jesus that expect us to love one another, I seldom even want to be around people, much less show them any sort of attention or care.
I don't know how monks or cloistered nuns can claim to be Christians without interacting with people, but I like that they've found a way that seems to work for them. I know that I am not ready for that extreme degree of isolation, but it would be nice to find some sort of middle ground where I can be a Christ follower and not have to deal with people.

Maybe it's time to admit that I am not really a Jesus follower, after all. I certainly can't claim any Christ-like qualities or regular practices. You can ask any mainline Christian today and they will tell you that doing good deeds isn't enough to call yourself a Christian.
In fact, according to most, you don't have to do any good deeds. Just call Jesus Lord, trust him as your Savior, and you are good to go! Maybe I should go back to believing that. 

Again, it would be nice to find some middle ground.

I know there doesn't seem to be any real point to this -- not for myself, nor for anyone else. It is just stuff I've been contemplating and felt like writing down. I know there are others that may have found themselves in a similar place. Maybe you'd share some insights for those of us still trying to figure things out.

John