Old Guys and Friendships

Admittedly, 66 isn't all that old.
However, it does put me at an age where physical changes sometimes surprise me. 
There are also social changes that become issues for a lot of guys entering retirement. I've been retired 11+ years now and didn't really feel the isolation that many feel.

For whatever reason, older guys don't seem to have the one on one friendships that most women seem to have. It often seems to be that guys maintain an identity that encompasses what they do for a living --what they are -- more so than who they are. When work is over and those people connections are lost they feel isolated, alone, and without a purpose.

That part wasn't really an issue for me for a few reasons.
First of all -- ATC was what I did. It was never who I was.
Secondly -- I didn't really do much with co-workers outside of work.
Thirdly -- I kept busy with church stuff and magic ministry for a few years before that came to an end.

When the church gig came to an end, admittedly, I was a little lost. It wasn't a big deal since so many people relationships within the church are superficial and conditional at best.
And besides, being alone and being lonely are very different things.
I greatly enjoy being alone.

However, as I age, I can see that having a close guy friend or two would be nice. I don't know if it is too late to really work on that or not, but I also need to feel right about the people that are close to me. I don't want somebody that drains my energy or has a contradictory view on life. 
We don't have to be completely like-minded, but (in my head) contradictory is not the same as different. Contradictory says -- You're wrong and I'm right, and rarely leaves room for discussion or conversation.

I have started meeting with a couple of guys -- breakfast every other week with a guy a few years older and lunches every now and then with a guy a few years younger. It's been good for me. One guy is a shelter volunteer; the other I met through The Venues church and have kept in touch with even though I rarely go anymore.
I have a couple of cherished high school classmates that I really look forward to connecting with on each trip back to central Illinois, as well as a couple of same age friends when we visit the kids in Puerto Vallarta.

I am quite fortunate to have these guys that are a part of my life. 
I do not have a great following in general, even less of a following by retired guys. If you see yourself in this post, feel free to chime in with your thoughts. I consider my old guy fellow bloggers to be included in my list of friends, as well.

John