Monday, July 06, 2015

Change Can be Difficult

Over the past few days I've had several conversations on varying topics and am realizing that change is a very difficult thing for some people. We often become so accustomed to our ways of thinking that we literally refuse to hear another perspective. Admitting that we have been wrong is never easy; but sometimes change isn't about right and wrong. And it still isn't easy!

I'm one of those people that is pretty set in my ways. I would much rather that you come over to my way of thinking than for me to have to come over to your way. I am no longer compelled to try to change your way of thinking as much as to understand why you think that way and to explain why I think as I do.

Perhaps, it would be a better way for us to discuss controversial topics:
I get to listen to you explain your position and ask questions so that I fully understand it, and then you get to do the same for me and my position. Even if we remain on different sides of an issue, we have a better understanding of our respective positions. However, with understanding often comes a change in perspective and that's when things can get difficult.

Sometimes change is about something in the way of a more personal nature -- health, finance, career, etc.
It may come down to "Which is better?" rather than an issue of right and wrong.
But still, we can be set in our way of thinking.

What if your career plan was to retire at a certain age and travel, but now your situation makes travel inconvenient or very difficult? Do you live a difficult and stressful life so that you can travel or do you adapt to your new reality?

Maybe your plan was to keep working and delay retirement because you had a specific financial goal in mind, but now you find that goal to be unnecessary and you are comfortable with what you have already achieved. Do you keep working for the sake of the goal or adapt?

Sometimes change is forced upon us. Heart attack, stroke, cancer, etc. can bring about devastating changes in our way of life. Even so, some people refuse to change and continue to live and think as they always have -- even to their own destruction.

And sometimes life brings us to a place where we pause to reflect on "What happens next?"
Maybe an examination on what happens after life would be a worthwhile use of your time. Rather than just continuing in your belief (whatever that may be), maybe an examination of why you believe that to be true and how you came to believe it would be worth your time. Maybe considering what others believe and why would give you a different perspective.

Whatever your situation might be, it is difficult to remove yourself from it in such a way that old biases are not a part of your present decision making process. "The way we've always done things" can often have a negative impact on our decision making process unless we are also able to understand the whys behind our beliefs. Sometimes we find that the things we've always been taught are not necessarily true. Much of the information that we receive today via internet and commercial news outlets is inaccurate. Finding a source of information that you can trust can be difficult.

My blogging friend Bilbo often says, "Don't let anyone do your thinking for you,"
That's good advice. I might add, "Don't let a younger, less experienced you make the decisions for the person you are today."
Allow yourself the freedom to change.

John <><


eViL pOp TaRt said...

It's hard to move out of comfortable ruts; but sometimes that's good for us. I think you're open and handling your life changes well, John Hill! New ways of thinking can be stimulating and sometimes fun!

Mike said...

The answer is adapt.