An Interesting Question

It's late afternoon and I'm just getting around to writing. My normal morning routine has shifted to the late afternoon/evening hours since I just got up after working the overnight cold weather shelter last night and will be back again for tonight. 

One of the overnight guests asked me an interesting question this morning -- Do you still enjoy this as much as you did when you first started?

Hmmm...
I don't know what her reference point is about when I first started. This is my third winter working in some capacity with the unsheltered community -- ranging from serving meals and coffee at a warming center, to volunteering at an overnight shelter, to my current work as a staff person at an overnight shelter.
I don't know if she is talking about this season (since Nov 1) or some time prior to that.

She followed up her question with her reason for asking it -- We can be such assholes sometimes.

I might know a little something about being an asshole. It could be that this is a bit of trying to make up for those poor attitude days of being a more privileged and less aware person of society. I wonder if there was something in my voice or manner this morning that made her think that I don't enjoy serving as much as I used to. 
Gosh, I hope that wasn't the case.

In truth, I don't know if enjoy is the word that I'd use. It's really kind of sad that this is a necessary work.
I am fulfilled by the work and service that we accomplish and extremely honored to work with a dedicated team of selfless volunteers and a staff that champions the causes of society's marginalized communities. The people and the work has truly made me into a much better person. 
Even Chris noticed that I am a much different person at the shelter. I guess that's not necessarily a good thing. I need to be that patient, caring person all of the time. 

Still working on being a better me.
I hope you are working on being a better you. 
Question like -- Do you still...? are beneficial if we are serious about how we answer them.

John