Why aren't you going to church?

Okay, so that's a weirdly worded question.
If you eliminate the contraction it would be--"Why are not you going to church?" 
"Why are you not going to church?" feels awkward, but sounds better. 
"Why aren't you going to church?" though weird, seems best.

Anyway--Why aren't you going to church?
That's my question.

I grew up going to (Catholic) church.
Every Sunday.
Every holy day.
Un-counted weekday masses.
Every funeral or wedding.

As a kid I found the Mass to be ritualistic and boring.
Today (as an ex-vangelical) I can see the purpose and power from a liturgical format, such as Catholics use.
But I'm not going back to that.

As an adult I began going to a baptist church, even became an evangelist. We attended church Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night--every single week.
For years.
For decades.
There are a number of reasons we (I) left the evangelical cult. Topping the list would be the hypocrisy of sounding like Christians, but acting like assholes. They were (are) obviously following a very different Jesus than I follow. 

We found a church that we like. It's more inclusive and feels right in the way it (they) recognize the image of God in each and every individual, but--I don't know, it still feels like church. And I don't know if they follow Jesus or not. 
I could go along with a more Universalist teaching. I just wish they'd say that.
It's a little weird going to a "supposedly" Christian church that seems to be afraid of offending people by saying they are a Christian church.

And to be honest, I miss a good worship service--music, songs, prayers, (maybe even a message), just to honor and praise God for being God. I enjoy my quiet time and solo worship, but I do miss the community worship of God and haven't found it for a very long time.
In fact, I'm a little hopeless in believing that it might still exist. Maybe it never really did. Maybe religion has always been kind of a cultish control thing that uses a false god to capture enamored souls and control people.

Please don't misunderstand me. 
I truly believe in God as Creator and Supreme Being. 
I believe in God Incarnate as Jesus.
I believe in The Holy Spirit of God that lives in us and makes each of us an image bearer of The Almighty.
I just don't know if I'm going to find that in a church community.

And maybe that's not what church is supposed to be.
Maybe it is supposed to be a community of truth seekers with each person bringing their own perspectives, their own misgivings, their own struggles, and their own hopes.
Maybe one day I'll figure it out.

So...
Why aren't you going to church?
And what would bring you back?

John