No.
You are not my family.
And maybe you don't want to be.
First I should say that I am blessed with a great family.
With one exception (my wife), I didn't get to choose any of them.
You don't get to choose family.
While I have been blessed with a family that is very loving and gets along well, not everyone feels the same about their family. I know many people that despise their siblings, have been abandoned by parents, or just hate being around certain relatives. For them, there are no fun holiday gatherings or enjoyable family reunions. In fact, such get togethers can be the most stressful times of the year and avoiding them can be just as stressful from the guilt and shame that comes from such decisions.
I tend to think of my other people clusters as communities.
And it may be true that I don't get to choose each member of those communities, but I get to choose my involvement with each group, or within each group.
Because I have a wonderful family, I don't need another "family."
If I had a poor family experience, I probably wouldn't want another "family."
I place great value on those that I have chosen to be my friends and a part of my community.
And I am honored to be chosen to be a part of the communities of others.
I don't usually tell people that say "We're like family" or something similar, "No, we're not."
I get what they mean and let it go (sort of). In my head, I might be thinking, "No, we're not."
I think it's weird we assume that everyone else identifies with things in the same way we do.
We talk of a family as if every family is a loving and healthy unit. Who wouldn't want to be a part of that?
We refer to God as Father. But what about the person that was beaten or sexually abused by their father? Maybe that image of God doesn't work for them.
I know that people can get upset with political correctness and think that others are too sensitive about the way things are said, but if we want others to really hear and understand our message, isn't it our responsibility to choose words and imagery that they can relate to in a positive way?
Just a thought.
John <><
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