The Struggle is Real

The violence in the USA is out of control and I am struggling with my own response to the events of the violent attacks that took place yesterday -- the school shooting in Colorado where two students were injured and the shooter took his own life, and the murder of political activist, Charlie Kirk.

One of the things that I am struggling with is that I don't think Mr. Kirk would expect us to do anything in response to the events but to carry on with our lives. He, himself, would have no empathy for the victims of violence, nor for their families, and would consider the victims, including himself, collateral damage and the price we pay to have our guns.
While these things seem ridiculous, I fear that he was not alone in his assessment of gun violence and many people feel the same way. Perhaps that is why we continue to have violent events -- Every. F***ing. Day.

Perhaps my greatest struggle is that I fear I am becoming someone that I don't want to be, someone that I despise. It is easy to say Mr. Kirk was a victim of his own making -- that he stoked the political fires and put on the target. It is easy to say that karma is a bitch and he reaped what was sown in his own statements.
But that is not who I want to be. 

I want to feel compassion for the students that were shot and for the students that go to school in fear. 
I want to express condolences to the kids that lost a father, to the woman that lost her husband, and also to the ones that loved the shooter that died.
I want to believe that there is never an acceptable time for political violence in a country where violence is becoming the only language that gets heard. 

Have I become numb to the daily violence because it happens so often?
...or is it because it just hasn't affected me?
Have I become a person that just doesn't care?
...that lacks empathy?
...that sees violence as a way of life in the US?
...that sees hatred as a part of who we (I) have become?

Our culture tends to believe that violence is the only effective response to anger (even righteous anger). We tend to react quickly and violently to things that anger us. We yell. We strike back. We aim to hurt or destroy.
Other cultures and traditions teach us to acknowledge our anger, to embrace it and understand why we are angry, and then to use it to direct us towards an acceptable solution. 

How are you dealing with your feelings today?
Are you struggling?
You are not alone.

John

Sleep, health, and random stuff

I seem to be getting back to my 6 hour per night sleep pattern. I'm sure if I went back to bed at my natural wake up time I could easily get another full 90 minute cycle, but I've been getting up and making coffee to get the day started. I will admit to taking a brief nap at some point in the late afternoon or evening. 
It works.

I feel fortunate to be a good sleeper when I know that many people have a difficult time sleeping well. I think that a good night's sleep is a vital part of good health. Admittedly, I haven't always thought that way. Typically, I go to bed between midnight and 1 am, and get up between 6 and 7 or whenever I've finished sleeping for the night. I tend to fall asleep quickly and also wake up easily. 
People have asked if I am more of a morning person or night person. I am usually just awake and have no real preference. 
I started getting a little bit of exercise recently(walking or exercise cycle), and have noticed that I sleep more soundly on days that I have exercised, even if the exercise is earlier in the day.

I had my annual physical yesterday and it turns out that I am pretty healthy for a fat guy. The Doc reminded me that there are no real health benefits from smoking cigars and drinking alcohol (even in moderation), and there can definitely be negative consequences.
I have cut back on both, but will probably continue to indulge in the occasional sip and smoke afternoons on the deck that seem to soothe my soul.  
He did not suggest cutting out my daily coffee, but did suggest being aware of my caffeine intake and how it can affect blood pressure, anxiety, sleep, and other aspects of health.

In a strange juxtaposition, retirement has found me being more attentive to my mental and spiritual well being and less concerned with my physical care. I think our Western culture is more the opposite way. I need to find a better balance.
It is interesting that we have doctors to care for our physical well being, but tend to shun the practices and practitioners of mental care that many other cultures embrace.

So, I'm curious...
Do you sleep well or struggle to get a good night's rest?
Do you have a nighttime ritual to help you sleep better?
How does diet impact your sleep quality?
Do you reduce your sleep time to make time for awake activities?
Do you consider good sleep to be a vital part of good health?
Are you willing to make changes to your awake time to allow for better sleep?

I am truly interested to hear what different perceptions people have about sleep.
My -- I'll sleep when I'm dead -- perspective has definitely changed even though I am still pretty much a short sleeper.

John

Books (and what can we learn from fictional reading?)

A few weekends ago I stumbled into one of the Friends of the Library book sales. I picked up a few old paperbacks and have been reading them. They were mostly from a genre that I enjoyed reading years ago -- Westerns!
Louis L'Amour, William Johnstone, and Ralph Compton are all writers that I've read in the past and all write in easy to read, descriptive narratives that I enjoy. So I have been reading westerns and am on my fifth book in just a couple of weeks. It is simple, yet entertaining reading -- kind of like eating popcorn at the movie theater. I picked up a few more paperbacks at a Farmer's Market stand this past weekend. I don't know if I'll just continue to burn through them or mix them in with some more serious reading. 

I have noticed something that is different about reading them today than there was in reading them in the past.
In the past I never really considered how violent we were. It should come as no real surprise that we are still a violence prone people. One would think we would have outgrown that way of life, but we seem to have gone from using violence to conquer other people to turning it inwards towards one another. We even have an a$$hole in the White House that wants to declare war on Chicago and use our own military to control our own citizens. 

Are we returning to a time when the most violent and brutal people rule?
Or is it just the rich and powerful people convincing the poorer people to fight against each other and then the powerful ones take all of the spoils?
F 'em! Let them fight their own battles. 

Typically in western fiction -- the good guys win and the bad guys die. Violence doesn't always work that way in real life. Maybe we just need to write better real life stories.

Just some simple Monday morning thoughts.
What are you reading?

John 

It's Another Beautiful Day in the Ozarks

It is another beautiful day in the Ozarks of SWMO.
I was up early (6:45ish) after spending another night sleeping on the deck futon. The neighbor's roosters and chickens were doing their morning thing and the sun was making it's daily appearance in the eastern sky. Wake up temperature was just below 60f (15c) and I slept quite well.

When I went inside to make my morning coffee it almost felt like the heat was on. In spite of the expected warm up this week, I think the nights will remain cool. Sleeping inside with the bedside window open is nice, but it is amazing how much of the night sounds are muted through an open window. I am surprised at how differently it feels to be out on the deck vs next to an open window.
There is such a calming effect from being outside vs inside. I don't know if the walls just block or dampen the energy or if there is some kind of different electrical field or what it is, but daytime or nighttime, I'd rather be sitting outside vs sitting inside.

I think the week ahead will be a typical week for a retired guy in the Ozarks. I have my annual physical this week and expect to hear that I need to lose weight (I do). 
The Springfield Cardinals will be wrapping up their season at home and I will probably be at two or three of their final six regular season games. 
I have more iris tubers to plant. My irises were getting so densely packed that I haven't had very many blossoms this year. I dug them up, thinned them out, and am replanting a bunch along the front of the fence. I am hoping they do well next spring. 
I should probably check my gladiolus for new corms to be spread out, as well. There is quite a bit of work to be done in late summer/early fall in flower gardening. I will also be spreading out my peonies and trying to find a way to contain the Rugosa rose bush that is taking over its space. I'm thinking I may have to cut it back, dig it up, and replant it in a confined area -- something like an in-ground potted plant with an open bottom but deep sides. The runners this beast sends out are pretty amazing.
I've also been re-potting some succulents and indoor plants. I really need a small green house. That may be a winter project. 

If you know me at all, you know I am a summer guy and I am not looking forward to the fall and winter seasons. Having said that, I am determined to enjoy each day for what it is. The dying of annual plants, the dormancy of perennials, and the regeneration on the other side of winter all have their places in the cycle of things. 

Honestly, my days are full of simple pleasures -- butterflies and humming birds feeding on the nectar of my flowers, bluebirds, wrens and finches enjoying the seeds, the sounds of a nearby great horned owl at night, the yipping of coyotes or the occasional deer that find their way through our field -- it's really a pretty good life.

Be present.
Enjoy the moment.
Have a wonderful week.

John



 

Thursday Thoughts

It's a little coffee shop kind of morning -- El Cafecito in Springfield.
(For non-Spanish speakers -- el cafecito translates to the little coffee shop!)
I only had enough coffee at home for a single cup, so a morning coffee shop run seemed to be in order.

With so much Christian nationalism and so many conflicting Christian messages and behaviors, it is of no wonder that there is so much distrust of Christianity and especially conservative, evangelical Christianity.
Even without the secular parts of Christian nationalism, the basics of evangelical Christianity offer enough conflicts to make a discerning person wonder -- WTF?

For example:
God loves you, but will condemn you to eternal torment if you don't do exactly as He says. (gender specific patriarchy intended) 
God's grace is a free gift but you have to do certain things to obtain it.
God's love is unconditional (certain conditions apply).
Jesus died for everyone, but only if you say he died for you.
God created you perfectly, but won't accept you if the church decides you don't fit into their expectations of holiness and acceptability.
Jesus turned water into wine, but drinking alcohol is a sin.
And on...
and on...
and on.

I'm sure that a comprehensive list would be much longer than anyone would care to read. It would definitely be much longer than I would care to research and write!

It has been a number of years since I set aside the whole religion scene.
I am still a believer in God and a follower of Jesus -- just without the structure of any kind of organized religion.
In fact -- the further I got from religion, the closer I got to God.
I accept (even embrace) the heretic label that may come my way from those that find my inclusiveness to be offensive. 

One of the most telling lines I've ever heard is -- There is no hate like Christian love.

Just thoughts rolling around in my head this morning.

John

No Wisdom on this Wednesday

It's a pretty slow start to this Wednesday morning and the day is warming up nicely. We may decide to turn the A/C back on.  Or maybe not. Mid 80s (29c) isn't too bad for a couple of hours. We have ceiling fans and an attic fan and generally get a nice breeze with the windows open in both the front and back of the house.

I should have jumped on the outdoor work earlier, but I'm not a big get it done early kind of guy. My mornings are slow and easy. I may find myself working at cleaning out the basement since it is generally cooler down there throughout the day. 

I was thinking that I need to offer a nugget of wisdom for my typical Wednesday Wisdom posting, but I don't really have any wise words or thoughts to share. My daily contemplation (inspired by my shamanistic readings) has me thinking about who I am and when it is appropriate to wear masks. 
Wearing masks isn't always hiding who we are or being deceptive to others. Sometimes it's just being the appropriate you for the moment.

It is perfectly natural to be a different person at work than you are when you are out with friends. It is okay to be different as a student than as a son, daughter, or even parent. While our character and morals may not change from one situation to another, altering our behavior depending on the situation doesn't mean we are fake or manipulative. A work Christmas party and a family holiday meal are very different types of celebrations and it is reasonable to expect different personas. 

An accurate answer to the question -- "Who am I?" might just be -- "It depends on the situation."

I have far fewer roles than I once had.
I am no longer an air traffic controller or employee.
I have left the world of evangelicalism and preaching. 
I no longer entertain groups with magic.
I still have familial roles as husband, dad, brother, son -- but husband is the only one that I really do on a day to day basis.
I guess I am mostly just a reclusive retired guy that likes flowers, and occasionally smokes cigars and sips a little bourbon or tequila.

Maybe the big deal with masks is if we use them to hide who we are. 
Am I a different person than I want people to think I am?

Are you the person people think you are?
Or have you deliberately fooled them with a mask that disguises the person you really are?

John

It is still summer -- just saying

How can it be September already?
While Labor Day Weekend is an unofficial end of summer and the beginning of football season kind of marks the start of fall -- neither of those things is actually true.
IT'S STILL SUMMER!

In fact, if we're going to use artificial markers for the end of summer/beginning of fall then I say when I've put my lawn mower away for the year marks the end of summer. That won't be until mid October. I'll keep the flannel shirts in the closet and the pumpkin spice on the pantry shelf for a little bit longer. You fall loving people can do whatever you want, but it is always summer in my heart.
For anyone that actually cares -- the astronomical end of summer is on September 22 at 1:19 PM CDT. 

And although it is still growing season in SWMO, I do need to prepare some of my flowers for the coming cold season. I'll be dividing my iris and peony plants and am looking for another place for some hydrangeas. I also need to get some more mulch down in the big flower bed. I'm still figuring out how to best cut back and contain the large Rugosa rose bush.
There is always an unending amount of work to do in the flower gardens. 
If anyone is looking for some hostas to get planted and rooted before winter, let me know. I need to thin mine out -- either now or in the early spring.

This first week of September will be a little cooler than normal, so I should be able to get lots of outdoor work accomplished.

Have a grand week!

John

The Life of John

There is not much going on in the life of John these days, certainly nothing worth writing about.
However, writing is a nice therapeutic kind of energy flow and I occasionally just feel like I need to clack away on my keyboard. Feel free to scroll on past this post. I am just writing to write.

It has been a nice, quiet, and uneventful week. I managed to go to a couple of ballgames and find it surprising that the summer baseball season is quickly coming to an end. While the MLB St Louis Cardinals are not having a good season, the AA Springfield Cardinals are on their way to completing a record setting most wins in franchise history kind of season. 
I've been fortunate enough to have attended a number of games and will try to catch one or two more before the season actually closes.

Here at home, I have been re-potting a few plants and experimenting with a bit of propagation of some of my outdoor flowers. It is the right season to be dividing some of the plants and the coming week looks like cooler weather with a bit of rain. I am hoping for the motivation to get out and get some good gardening work done this week. 

But that's really all there is to my simple life. 
Throw in an occasional cigar, a sip of bourbon or tequila, a book to read, or just quiet time listening to the birds while sitting on the deck and you have the simple, quiet life of John.
And no -- I don't find it to be boring. I am content. 

Strangely, I find great peace in the simplicity of my life. I have learned to see, feel, or sense the presence of God in all of the quiet around me. It's not in a holy or particularly reverent kind of way; it's more like an awareness of this Universal Force or energy or spirit. I don't really know how to explain it other than to say -- IYKYK (If You Know -- You Know).
The awareness of this Force brings peace when things are not so quiet or the chaos of other lives and forces make their way into my otherwise simple life.

From where I am sitting in Highlandville MO -- life ain't so bad.
I mean -- there's no tropical beach, but -- it's still not so bad.

John

What does God look like?

What does God look like? 
Or how does God appear to you?

I find it weird (and frankly, a little disturbing) that I still have this imagined image of God that looks similar to Michelangelo's image -- white headed, white bearded, old white guy with a great physique. 
In fact, I find the idea of humanizing God with names like Father and a gender (he) as well as phrases like "the hand of God" or "the Son of God" somehow diminish the greatness and magnificence of God.

I recently was introduced to the word -- panentheism.
Pantheism is basically the belief that all of creation is God. Everything is God.
Panentheism is the belief that God is in all of creation. 

I like that.
The more time I spend contemplating God, the more time I spend in nature, the more I study the stars, even the more I spend with people -- the more I begin to grasp the idea that God is indeed imprinted on and in all of creation.
While I understand the personification of God, I do wish that I had not been exposed to so much of it that ii is now difficult to unlearn some of it. On the other hand, it is pretty cool to discover that our Creator is much more magnificent than I once believed.
My image of God as an old white guy is beginning to fade and I am starting to sense God as a life force or positive energy rather than to see God as a glorified person of some kind. 

When you think of God, do you get a mental image?
If so -- what does God look like to you?
Just wondering.

John

Wednesday Wisdom

 

May today be an easier day for all of us!

John

Early Tuesday

It is quite early (for me) on a Tuesday morning. The sun is not yet up and nature is still relatively quiet. I have been sleeping quite well the past few nights. It may be the cooler nights and the open windows next to the bed. It was a cool 56 (13c) degrees at wake-up this morning. I'm sure I could have gone back to bed for another sleep cycle, but I am well rested and awake so I donned some pajama pants and a sweater and am now enjoying my morning coffee on the deck.

It looks to be a beautiful, sunny day today. After quite a string of lazy days, perhaps I'll do a little work today. Right now I am planning to go to the Springfield Cardinals baseball game tonight. It's hard to believe that they only have one more home stand after this one. I have a ticket for Saturday night's game and one for the last home game of the season on Sept 14. I'll use my general admission pass for tonight's game and any others that I attend between now and then.
I have already renewed my Red Access Membership for next season.

I've been working on some potted plants and plant starts. I have a few cuttings that I am trying to start in water -- philodendrons, and several varieties of caladium. I am also attempting to root some hydrangea cuttings. As rewarding as flower gardening and small potted plants are, the necessary patience to wait on nature's time cycle is a little maddening to me. 
I am also trying my hand at growing a few succulents in small pots.

Although I do read quite a bit and follow a few social sites on gardening, I consider most of my gardening work to be experiments -- Let's try this and see what happens. I consider it to be a blessing that nature's will to survive is often greater than my ignorance and incompetence. 

I have books to read, work to do and a baseball game to watch.
I hope your day is as good as mine is shaping up to be.

John

Thinking Ahead

It's a cool morning in the Ozarks of SWMO -- 62 (17c) at 6:30. 
The sky is overcast and I had to turn on the deck lights to sit out here with my morning coffee. With the cooler temps expected for the week, we turned off the a/c and opened the windows yesterday and I think that's the way we will end August. 

It might seem like it is a little early to be thinking about the coming winter, but the organizations that manage the crisis cold weather shelters are making preparations for the coming season. Meteorologists seem to think that this year's La Niña will bring a cooler, wetter winter to our area. Ugh.

Typically our shelter season runs from the beginning of November through the end of March. Each church or organization that provides shelter space relies heavily on volunteers to make everything possible. The group I work with uses 15 volunteers each night we are open. 
There are people that work the sign-up table at dinner, set up the shelter, greet and serve our guests, transport animals in the evening and again in the morning (we are the only shelter that takes pets), fix coffee and oatmeal in the morning, clean the facility, and transport laundry to and from the cleaners. These are all needs in addition to the ones that spend the night at the shelter. 
Shelters are only open when the temperatures are below freezing for most of the night.

Previous seasons have only had a few places open for shelter on most cold nights. Some additional places open when the nights are extremely cold, but even then we are far below the capacity we need. If you can help with any of the volunteer needs over the winter months, please reach out to us. Or maybe you can provide us with a container of coffee, hot chocolate, or a box of oatmeal. 
We also distribute coats, gloves, socks, warm clothes, etc.

I know that there are reasons that many churches cannot provide space for sheltering people in need, but it is very disappointing that of the several hundred churches in Springfield MO, only about a dozen participate in providing shelter or shelter volunteers during the winter crises cold weather season.

If you have questions or stuff -- let me know. I can put you in touch with the people that put all of this together. 

John

Quiet is good (and random notes)

It has been a quiet week here in the Ozarks of SWMO. My riding mower has been in the shop for a couple of weeks and should be back next week. The yard and field aren't too bad as the heat and little rain have kept the grass from growing too much. I've been content to be lazy and read a lot in the past week.  

Next week the local AA baseball team will be back in Springfield and I think I will try to take in a game or maybe two. I haven't done much people-ing, so I should be okay with a solo night at the ballpark. I've also been content to have coffee at home for the past couple of weeks. Maybe I will venture out for a morning coffee shop experience next week.
Simple coffee shop conversations are generally good. If anyone in the area is up for that next week, let me know. 

I mentioned screen time in my last post and I have been doing better about not using my phone as much. I still play games on it, but not as much. I've been spending less time scrolling social media, but still spend way more time than I need to be spending on mostly nonsense. I'm afraid it will be an ongoing battle.

A couple of days ago Highlandville MO experienced its last 8 PM sunset of the year. It will be April 28th before we have another sunset that late. I have been noticing the morning sun slowly moving southward as the sun shines on the deck now and affects my morning Chromebook viewing. I can't say that I am looking forward to fall and winter. I really am more of a summer boy. 
The Farmer's Almanac is calling for higher than average precipitation for our area this winter. We are on the boundary of what will be either snow or rain. The snow is pretty, but you don't have to shovel rain!
Fortunately, our winters here are pretty mild as Midwest winters go.

I am happy that there is still another month of summer and early fall in the Ozarks is still warm enough to keep me happy. To all of my flannel wearing, fall loving friends -- Be patient. Your time is coming. 

Enjoy life, my friends!

John

DND

Do Not Disturb

I use the DND setting on my phone most nights. The setting allows for exceptions. I have my wife, kids, and mom as exceptions. Everyone else goes to voicemail.

Yesterday I didn't have my phone on me for a good part of the day, and the ringer was set to vibrate so I didn't hear it from the deck or other room. It made for a nice, quiet afternoon.
Truthfully, I don't get many calls or messages and I have eliminated a lot of notifications. But setting my phone down and walking away from it has reminded me of how much of a distraction it is.

Maybe I should turn off a few more notifications. Do I really need to know every time someone scores during a Springfield or St Louis Cardinals game?
Or maybe I should leave the DND feature engaged throughout the day. It's kind of like being in airplane mode with those few exceptions.
I have a couple of games I play on my phone. I still use the Kindle app for reading. I use Facebook too often, and the same is true for Instagram. And I use Pandora while driving or working in the yard.

I would probably check my phone less often if I wore a watch for time. Once it is in hand, it is too easy to check other things. Is it really necessary to know how hot it is? Isn't hot or too hot enough?
Or maybe I just need to be more disciplined about my phone usage.

What are your go-to apps?
Do you monitor or restrict your screen time/phone usage?
Is your phone just a part of your everyday life and you don't think about it?

Just curious,
John

I Peopled This Week

People-ing (being around people) isn't a big deal for most of you. I can usually get by fine without it. Tuesday I was all set to go out to the ballgame, but decided (at the last minute) that staying home would be more enjoyable.
I missed a lunch meeting for chaplain volunteers yesterday (could have made it, but had other things to do) and was pretty on the fence about leaving the comforts of home to go to our Thursday evening gathering of Venues' people at Mother's Brewery. I have to admit that the decision to actually go was largely influenced by the need for coffee (I only had enough left for this morning). If I didn't need to go into Springfield for coffee, I might not have gone.

As it was, I had an enjoyable time conversing with some new people and enjoying this year's Oktoberfest brew from Mothers. There were several people that I hadn't met and a few more that I just hadn't seen in quite some time. The conversations and the beer were both good. Maybe I should get out more often.
As is often the case after a Thursday night at barchurch, I begin to think that maybe I should start going to church on Sunday mornings -- until Sunday morning rolls around and I think, "What was I thinking?" as I enjoy my quiet time and coffee on the deck.

I may be out (again) on Saturday night to watch the UFC PPV at a Springfield movie theater. I've watched a few this summer and it isn't a bad deal. There is a sports bar nearby and I can watch the prelims there and then walk to the theater for the PPV card. 
There really isn't very much people interaction involved and the reclining theater seats and big screen are a definite plus.

I have no people-ing planned for today. 
I have my pour-over brewed coffee for this morning and have a jug of Ethiopian cold-brew steeping for the coming days. I have good cigars, tequila, bourbon, a six-pack of Mother's Oktoberfest, several books, a comfortable chair, and lots of time. 
I may do a little plant re-potting today. We'll see.

For the most part I expect it to be -- just another day in the life of John.

John

Thursday Theology -- but not really

This quote is more about religion than it is about theology, but it definitely should make one examine their own religious beliefs and actions.

John

Wednesday Wisdom

A thought provoking perspective, isn't it?

John

Contemplating Imperfection

It has recently come to my attention (though not for the first time) that I have no marketable skills. There really isn't anything that I do well. Although I enjoy flower gardening, a cursory glance at my flower beds will quickly tell any observer that I am no gardener. The landscaping pictures in my head never quite make it to real life.

Past life John did well in retail sales, managing a jewelry store for a national chain and then leading two stores in sales for a now defunct lumber company. People sometimes commented about the difference when I switched from wearing a suit and selling jewelry to wearing khakis and loading lumber. I generally responded by telling them it wasn't that different -- I just went from selling rocks to selling sticks.

I generally did okay at sales. At one point I even peddled salvation for your soul. At least that's what the evangelism gig often felt like -- carnival barkers looking for suckers to bring into the big tent. 
Incidentally, I did pretty well at that, too.

The air traffic control (ATC) gig had a pretty unique set of skills. I can't really think of another occupation that they would transfer into. It is a good thing that retirement suits me well. I am extremely comfortable enjoying life from the deck of our rural home and being a non-productive member of society. For the past decade, my sole contribution to society has been as a consumer and that's pretty much it.

I embrace the low skill level I have when it comes to gardening. I'm learning as I go.
The same goes for my struggles with learning to smoke meats on the little smoker I have. Learning by failing kind of sucks, but it seems to be okay in gardening and outdoor cooking. It probably is not a great way to learn that ATC job.

I think that for most things in life a little imperfection is okay. Perfection is often oppressive and the stress to be perfect can be detrimental to one's health or even to relationships. I'm not saying that we should strive for imperfection, but I do believe that we should recognize that all of life is a learning process and that imperfection is a necessary part of that. 
And perfect can be different depending on perspective.

When I am cutting flowers to bring into the house and put into a vase, I look for the perfect ones, the fully developed ones with no missing nor damaged petals. The butterflies and bees seem to like the newly opened blossoms and the golden finches go for the ones that have started producing seeds. The insects and hummingbirds are attracted to the brightly colored ones, but I like to mix in a few of the pale colors for contrast.
Maybe nature is trying to teach me that imperfection isn't really a thing and that understanding that timing and purpose makes it (and us) all well suited to the moment.

Hmmm...

John

 

What are you reading?

I like to read.
I don't consider myself to be a voracious reader, but I usually have a book or two that I am reading. Research shows that the average US adult reads about 12 books per year with half of the population reading only 4 or fewer books in a year. I set a modest goal of reading 24 books this year -- just two books per month.

I finished my 24th book on my Kindle a couple of days ago, plus I've read three actual books from the library. (Several of the Kindle reads were also from the library.) At this pace I should finish the year at around 40 books completed.

My most recent non-fiction book was Curveball by Peter Enns.
I am putting this into my highly recommended category. I would go so far as to say even if you are a person of faith that is not a Christian you will benefit from reading this book that challenges how we view God and how our perceptions should change. In fact, I truly believe that atheists would find the evolution of faith process to be quite interesting. This isn't an attempt to proselytize, but a genuine belief that our perspectives can and should change as evidence and experiences change.

Curveball addresses the process and challenges of the author's faith deconstruction/evolution/growth or whatever you want to call it. I find it both interesting and sad that many people's idea of God is the same now as it was when they were 10 years old. Most of us have been encouraged by religion not to allow our perceptions of God to change. It's probably fair to say that I'm more angry than sad about religious control over peoples' perception and understanding of a supreme being.

If you have ever wondered about God, considered the existence of God, struggled to understand God, or determined that there is no God -- give it a read and let me know what you think. I am open to your thoughts on the matter.
Just FYI -- the two books I picked up at the library yesterday are on shamanism and spirit animals. Yeah, I'm a bit of a heretic to my former evangelical acquaintances. 
So what? As I mentioned earlier -- some people don't evolve.

What are you reading?

John

Friday Fun Fact

Did you know... ?

John

Thursdays are for Thanksgiving!

Happy Thursday, my blog reading friends!
I am, admittedly, a little sore from yesterday's yard work. Some days the work is just a little more intense than on most days. Fortunately, I have the option to do little to nothing today -- balance, right?

Several months ago, I ran into a friend that was hosting an aunt and uncle that were visiting. When I asked later about how their visit went, the reply I got (after a long, thoughtful pause) was -- Sometimes family is hard.

Yeah.
Isn't that the truth!
Whether it is differing and divisive politics, divergent lifestyles, religious beliefs, personality clashes, unmet expectations, or something else -- conflicts within families can be difficult to manage. It seems to be far easier to walk away from friends or other relationships that cause stress than it is to leave behind the people that are connected to us through familial relationships.

My family and its extensions are a pretty diverse group and we are not without our conflicts, but (so far) we have managed to remain close and loving to each other. I often think that it is strange that such a large, close family seems to be the exception rather than the rule.
After spending the weekend with family, I have to admit that the introverted part of me is happy to be back to my quiet, rural, and somewhat isolated life, but it was so good to see everyone and feel the loving energy that exists in that large, diverse group of people.
I honestly don't understand families that have disowned members or have completely cut ties with each other.

So...
Today I want to express how thankful I am for my family and extended family.
At our recent reunion, each of my mom's kids was missing one of our kids and their SOs and kids -- 13 (I think) more that would be in this pic, plus a number of cousins and their families that were unable to attend.

That's quite a clan!

John
 

Wednesday Wisdom -- Listen

How often are you in a conversation when you are constantly being interrupted by someone?
Oftentimes, I find myself being interrupted when answering a question that the person asked.
Far too often people are either listening to reply or not really listening at all. 

Perhaps listening is an underdeveloped skill in today's world. 
Or maybe it is conversing with meaningful dialogue that is the lost skill. People want to be heard, but they don't want to listen to what others have to say. They may hear you speaking, but they don't really listen to understand -- they listen to know when you've finished (or not) so that they can resume speaking.

Maybe for today we can all try listening -- not listening to reply, not listening to hear, but listening to understand.

Listening takes purposeful practice.
Truthfully, sometimes I do not converse because it is just a waste of time.

John

This Place

I tend to be comfortable wherever I am, but this place -- home -- is definitely a favorite place.
After being surrounded by family for the past weekend at our family reunion, home feels good.

Aside from the time at the reunion picnic, our immediate family of siblings and kids spent many hours around the outdoor fire pit or indoor breakfast area. The general conversations and memories were wonderful and often entertaining. There were several new members introduced to the family as our kids brought in their new-to-the-group significant others, and there was one kid (along with their SO and kids) missing from each family. 
I enjoyed meeting the new people and wonder what they might be thinking about the rest of the clan.

Although yesterday was a good day to catch up on some work around the house, I did absolutely nothing. I just enjoyed being home. I had an evening cigar and a small pour of bourbon while listening to the night sounds and reading a book on the deck -- simple and glorious at the same time.
Today I will have to get some work done, but even that will be a comforting kind of thing. 
It is a wonderful feeling to be at peace in the place where you spend most of your time.

I hope you have such a place -- even if it isn't your home, but a place where you can escape to when you need to re-establish your peaceful mindset.

Life is good here.

John

Wednesday Wisdom

 

John

What if ... ?

There is a lot that can be said about the Buddhist belief that possessions and desires tie you down and lead to suffering. For example --
I like our home. I like our house and I like having a safe place to retreat to and a warm, comfortable place to live and sleep. I like the five acres we have and the various flowerbeds. Although I don't mind working in the yard, it is also a pretty big commitment and takes quite a bit of time and effort.
It is a privileged life that we live.

However, I also think it would be cool to get a truck-top tent rig for the Maverick and just hit the road, stopping wherever I feel like stopping and spending whatever time I want to spend before moving on. That really isn't a thing that my wife would be into, so that attachment (along with the homeowner obligations) is another tie down. 
Honestly, I don't know if that is something that I would really like for an extended period of time. There is a little bit of me that thinks I would like it and is a little sad that it likely isn't something that I will ever do. I can't say that it is a major regret or anything. It's just something I think of from time to time as kind of a fantasy adventurous lifestyle. 

So that has me wondering...
What would you be doing differently if you weren't tied down by obligations to people or property?
Would you live in a different city? ...or maybe a different country?
Maybe you have a dream of starting a business (talk about being tied to an obligation!).
Is there something you'd like to learn about?
An instrument you'd like to learn how to play?

Maybe there are things you can do in spite of your commitments and obligations.
I know that there are people that thrive on having obligations. They need to be committed to something. They need to have a purpose for getting up in the morning, Maybe you are doing exactly what you truly want to be doing.
In a sense, we are all doing what we choose to do -- even though it may not be what we want to do.

Just some weird things rollin' 'round in my head today.

What would you be doing today if you could be doing what you truly want to do?

John

Can We Talk About the Birds and the Bees?

One of a simple life's pleasureful things is being able to observe and enjoy nature. 
I get to do that a lot -- morning coffee on the deck, working in the flower gardens, an afternoon cigar, a relaxing evening, and late nights listening to the frogs, bugs, and occasional coyotes.

This year we seem to have an abundance of dragonflies. I read that this is in part due to the very wet spring that we had. These voracious little hunters consume mosquitoes and other small flying insects -- often more than 100 per day.
Competing for small insects and also eating dragonflies are the barn swallows. I kind of hate that these birds dine on the dragonflies, but love that they also keep the wasps population in check. I haven't seen as many wasps around this year. It might have something to do with the mud nest built on one of the deck joists!

Earlier this week I watched a tiny little jumping spider stalk and capture a small moth on the deck screen. It was the third time I have observed a spider make such a catch. The other times were houseflies.

There are golden finches that nest in the trees across the street that come to feast on the seeds of my zinnias and cone flowers. In the fall I will harvest enough seeds to plant in the spring, but leave most of them so the birds can feed on them throughout the winter months. They will be picked clean by spring.

My hummingbird feeders have been dry for a little while. I don't worry about it this time of year and often see them feeding at the flowers. I tend to pay closer attention during the spring before the flowers bloom and in the early autumn weeks before they begin their long migration back to Mexico.

I often work while barefooted. I must have startled or stepped on a little critter this week and took a stinger of some sort in my foot. I didn't see what stung me, but did dig a bit of stinger out of the lower side of my foot. I've been surprised at how long I can still feel the effects of that little sting. 

I have to admit that I laugh at myself when I think about how much I enjoy observing the smaller side of nature. One the one hand it does make me feel like an old guy. But on the other hand I wish I would have been more observant of the life around me all along.

Spiders hunting moths, dragonflies hunting mosquitoes, birds munching on dragonflies -- nature can be pretty violent and unforgiving even at this small level. It really is a privilege to be able to observe and learn.

John

Happy Blogoversary! 19 Years of Out of My Hat!

On this date in 2006 I published my first post here at Out of My Hat.
I no longer do magic as a profession, hobby, nor ministry, so the name doesn't make as much sense as it did back in the day. And most of the post seem to come from out of my --, well, from somewhere else.

I am a much different person today than I was 19 years ago. Not only am I no longer a magician, I am no longer working as an air traffic controller, I am no longer in ministry as an evangelist or kids' camp pastor, and am happily retired and pursuing new hobbies like gardening, smoking cigars, sipping bourbon and tequila, and staying the hell away from people.

I do still enjoy writing and using Out of My Hat to share my thoughts, but no longer care as much as I once did that other people actually read them. I should probably challenge myself to write more often and to take on a greater variety of topics from time to time -- perhaps I will in year #20. I suppose I could find a random topic generator or accept suggestions from the few readers that I still have. Or I can (and likely will) just keep doing what I have been doing for the past 19 years.

It has been an interesting evolution.
I wonder what the John of 19 years ago would say about the person that he would become. He would probably look at what has been posted recently and wonder -- Who writes this crap?
From the other perspective -- I am glad that I have grown and am no longer the person that I was. I truly wish more people would constantly question what they believe and who they are and challenge themselves to grow rather than to just blindly follow the same well worn pathways.

I do hope that you will stick around for another year, and I hope that you might occasionally benefit from some of my posts and rantings. 
Maybe I'll celebrate the milestone later today with a cigar and a tequila cherry limeade. 
It will be -- Just another day in the life of John
But each day is a day worth celebrating.

John

Thursday Theology -- Deconstructing Your Faith

A recent post from a friend has had me thinking.
The post was an ask for spiritual counseling or for somebody to talk to about faith and questions about God/faith/etc. Honestly, I don't remember exactly how it was worded and I don't know what their particular crisis of faith might have been at the time of the ask. What I do know is that faith deconstruction is a difficult and often lonely process -- one that often leaves people with no faith at all. 

Here's the thing --
I have no theological education nor background of any kind.
I have no qualifications as a counselor of any kind.
I am no longer (and never really was) a preacher nor clergy of any kind.

But...
I have been through my own faith deconstruction and managed to come out of it feeling closer to God than I was when I was burdened by all of the religious crap that was the foundation of my previous spiritual experience.
I get needing or wanting somebody to talk to or to be able to verbalize what you are going through. I really didn't feel like I had that. I was pretty much a heretic in my previous circles, but I was okay with that. Yes, having a qualified spiritual guide to talk to might have been helpful -- but I didn't even realize I needed it at the time.

As I said -- I am no expert in deconstruction, but I have a personal experience that I can share.
I can listen to your questions and maybe help you find answers. 
I can offer a couple of books that I found helpful.
And I can do it through private written communication or over a cup of coffee or a pint beer.
For some people, it might be best to meet in a small group where others can share both experience and insight as well as asking their own questions.

Anyway, I've been thinking about it, so I just thought I'd throw this out there.
Hit me up if I can serve you as you walk your own faith journey.
(Comments to this blog are moderated so you can request not to have your comment published if you include contact information.)

John

Good Noise

It's weird how the word noise carries a negative connotation. Sounds can be good, but noise is generally bad.
Night noises usually refer to the creepy, scary sounds of the night; where night sounds might be about the calming sounds of bugs, frogs, and other critters.

Last week I spent several nights sleeping on the deck futon.
This week the nights have been a little warm and I've been sleeping inside.
Sometimes (like last night) the night sounds can be incredibly loud. 
This morning the outside sounds are also quite loud. Along with the morning chatter from the birds, the bugs and frogs are still chirping and chattering.

I don't know what it is about the sounds of nature that are so calming -- really kind of healing. 
I am a believer that grounding --physical contact with the earth -- is beneficial to the body and spirit. Maybe there is also something like an auditory connection. Maybe nature has an auditory frequency that is also healing to the body and spirit. It is likely just easier to recognize it at night when there are fewer man-made sounds flooding the space around us. The natural sounds of the forests, the mountains, or the seas likely bring the same peace and healing. 

I know that this space that I have is quite a privilege. As the sun is beginning to climb a bit higher in the eastern sky, the bugs, frogs, and night critters are slowly becoming more quiet and giving way to the sounds of the day. Even though the cars and trucks on the nearby highway create a steady hum of low frequency traffic noise, the sounds of nature are easily separated and heard with the simplest concentration or meditation. 

It is Wednesday, so I'll offer this bit of wisdom:
Find a way to connect to the sounds of nature -- even if it means streaming the night sounds from your phone. Be aware of the life that lives around us that we don't see. I find a connection to our Creator in the sounds of nature. 
Maybe the auditory sensation of calming isn't about healing. Maybe it's about connecting with God and remembering that I am a part of the creation. Maybe it is a call to live in harmony with nature rather than trying to conquer or exploit it.

Enjoy the sounds of nature today.
It's time for me to tend to my flowers.

John 

Are there any good people stories?

I could use a good human story.
There is far too much bullshit being posted on social media platforms and so much fake stuff that I am ready to retreat to the deck with only a drink, a cigar, and a book.
Forever.

To be fair -- 
I have a good life and recognize the joy I find in simple things -- blooming flowers, singing birds, dragonflies hunting in my backyard, etc. Nature provides me with many hours of pleasure just by observing what is going on around me. 

However, human nature often brings me down. 
I seem to find far much more corruption than kindness among my fellow humans. People seem more hurtful than helpful. 
Please convince me that I am wrong.
I need some good human stories.

Good human stories don't have to be anything spectacular. Simple kindness is enough for me. 
Tell me something good!

John

Missed Milestone

Hmmm...
I just noticed that I missed the milestone 3000th post.
This is post #3003. 
Damn! That's a lot of nonsense that has been put out into the world by a single person. 
One week from today will be my 19th blogoversary. 
Now that is a milestone! There are only a few of the blogs that I was following from back in the day that are still around as blogging has given way to podcasts and other more advanced forms of social media.

I'll have more thoughts on that next week.

Today I am thinking about flowers.
Some time ago I read about a farmer that used a road side portion of his field to plant flowers and made them available to anybody that wanted them. He set up a small stand that had hand held cutting shears and a number of small, inexpensive vases. Not only did many people come and cut flowers to take home, they also left vases and shears for others to use.

Maybe I can do something like that with a portion of my yard.
We don't have much traffic on our road as there are only a dozen or so homes and it ends in a cul-de-sac. Nevertheless, neighbors and their friends might benefit from a free flower stand. The local birds, bees, and butterflies certainly would!
And I could always cut flowers and give them away myself.
I mean -- Who doesn't love freshly cut flowers?
For now, it's just a thought. 
Also a thought -- Do I really need one more outdoor project?

Truthfully, flowers make me happy.
Being outside and working with them makes me happy.
Seeing them make other people happy makes me happy.

Maybe I do need one more outdoor project.

John

Wednesday Wisdom

It's late in the day (8 PM) and I'm just getting around to opening the Chromebook for an evening post.
It makes sense that today's wisdom is simply that some days you just go with the flow. 

I have been enjoying some cold brewed iced coffee in the mornings for the last week or so.  I was out of cold brew and didn't feel like brewing a pot of coffee this morning, so I went out and cleared the last of a Starbucks gift card and bought a trenta iced coffee. 
I enjoyed the coffee on the road and did a walk-through at Harbor Freight. Then I came home and did my time weeding the flowerbed, dead-heading plants, and watering stuff while listening to Pandora's Classic Rock Radio. I don't know if I'll get to finish that section of the flowerbed tomorrow because I have a luncheon to attend. I may work during the afternoon hours; partly cloudy and 92 (33C) is doable. Or I could mow tomorrow afternoon instead of Friday.

I guess I'll take my own advice and go with the flow. There isn't a real priority other than the mowing needs to be done in the next day or two and the weeding, mulching, watering, and dead-heading are pretty much ongoing daily projects -- forever!

It was a good day.
Now it is time to read a book with the night sounds in the background.
It's a simple life.
It's a good life.
It's just another day in the life of John.

John

Daily Activity (yard work at my place)

I've been behind in my yard work lately. I really left my flowerbeds unattended for too long and now there are quite a few weeds and grasses that have taken root where I don't want them. For the past few days (and for the next several to come) I have been spending a couple of hours pulling weeds. I had a few other things to take care of yesterday morning, so I was pulling weeds during the hot part of the day. 

I found myself looking ahead at how much work was still to do and had to remind myself that having a yard this size to take care of is a privilege that few people have. And besides, there really is some joy to be gained from digging in the dirt and producing some colorful flowers. I love having a vase of freshly cut flowers on the counter and easily visible to anyone that walks into our home (even though no one ever walks into our home).

I enjoy looking out over the smaller flowerbed that I can see from the deck. It is filled with perennials and self-seeding annuals (and also needs to be weeded). I do wish that I knew more about growing flowers, but I am slowly learning by doing and I am picking up tips and information from a few different plant pages on different social media platforms. 
I definitely see a small (but not too small) greenhouse in my future.

But for the coming week or so, it will be a few hours of pulling weeds and spreading mulch each day.
Not so much that I get sick and tired of it, but enough to give me a bit of activity each day so that I rest well at night and have something that gives me some sense of accomplishment. 

A thought just occurred to me -- Having flowers to appreciate shouldn't be a privilege. Everyone should have a little such beauty in their day.

Be well, my friends.

John

What are you learning?

Once again, I have decided to learn to speak Spanish.
Spanish is the official language of twenty countries and the US territory of Puerto Rico, plus it is widely spoken in Mexico, the USA, and the Philippines. 

I am using Great Courses plus to learn and am just over a week into the course. My greatest challenge is finding places to actually speak in Spanish. I need to find a cigar smoking Mexican man that might need help learning English so that we can smoke cigars, sip tequila, and help each other learn our languages. In today's world, I don't think that advertising for a Mexican person that needs to learn English would get any response, so I guess I'll have to find another way to practice.

I know there are AI courses that allow you to converse with an AI generated teacher. I might have to look into that if taking an old fashioned, repeat-after-me course doesn't work. I don't know that true fluency is the goal, but I would like to be conversationally fluent enough to do more than order a beer and tacos. I am glad there are online translation apps like Google Translate to help when we are in Mexico.

The US is a vast land and there really is no need to learn a second language if your travel is restricted to the US and Canada (although French would be helpful in parts of Quebec). However, it is a little pathetic that so few of us can speak more than just English. Truthfully, it's pathetic at the number that struggle to speak English properly.

Learning a second language is my current quest. 
That and shedding about 60 pounds (27 kg). 
Truthfully, I am doing more to learn Spanish than I am to lose weight, so it is more likely that I'll just be un gringo gordo rather than a normal sized English only American. 

I've completed today's Spanish lesson so I should probably get to work.
¡Adios amigos!

John

Theology and books

I am currently reading Peter Enns' book Curveball: When Your Faith Takes Turns You Never Saw Coming. I am only 1/3 of the way through it, but I am thoroughly enjoying it -- so much so that I was thinking that this is a book worthy of a book club selection and discussion. I kind of wish I had someone to discuss it with as I am reading it.

Having said that, I really don't think I'm much of a book club kind of person. While I do read books of many different kinds, I generally read what I want and at my own speed. I am currently reading through a fiction series of a badass black ops team by Scott Conrad. I often have two books going at the same time -- one fiction and one nonfiction.

Back to Curveball;
I'll get around to writing a review for it when I finish reading it, but I'm wondering if there are theological books that others have read or would like to read that seem to call for discussion as you read through them. I don't know what an online as-you-read book club might look like, or if there are other people in my local area that would be up for an occasional group read of such books, but I'd be interested to try something out.
I'm thinking -- it doesn't even have to be a book centered on theology. They could be books on behavior or how we think or philosophy. I suppose they could be fiction or nonfiction, although I think the genre would typically be mostly nonfiction.

Whether or not such groups exist, I am interested in books of theology or philosophy that you have read and would recommend. I should include books of other religions or belief systems that might not really fall under theology, but address the spiritual lives of its followers. I am particularly interested in progressive Christian authors that have managed to evolve or deconstruct (or whatever they want to call it) in their following of God.

What are you reading?

John

Wednesday Wisdom

I think most people would say I have a boring life.
I don't.
I would agree that I have a simple life.
I am happy with that.

Up when I finish sleeping
Coffee on the deck 
Morning quiet time
Some computer time, light reading, maybe something to learn (currently online Spaanish course)
A couple of hours of yard work
Afternoon on the deck
Cigar, drink, book, music
Evening on the deck or maybe a baseball game
Simple, not boring.

It works for me.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I understand the sentiment, but being busy and doing stuff isn't the same as living. Find your peace. Be happy.

John

The USA and Democracy

The "demos" of the pre-Common Era Grecian world were considered to be the lower class of citizens. Our current language defines "demos" as the people making democracy the rule by the people.
Aristocracy is the rule by a few aristocrats -- often wealthy by power of inheritance or social status.
Plutocracy is rule by the rich where wealth translates to power. It is similar to oligarchy, except in oligarchy the rule is by a few that came to power by any means, not just wealth. Plutocracy is a form of oligarchy.

More and more, it appears that the USA is becoming more of a plutocracy (rule by the rich) than it is a democracy (rule by the people). When it costs more than a million dollars to run for a seat in the House of Representatives you know that we have strayed far from the representation of the people by the people that our founders envisioned.

I have to say that I am more than a little disillusioned about celebrating our freedom on this Independence Day. I am no longer sure about who is included in the "our" part of our freedom. The inalienable rights of all humans defined in our Declaration of Independence don't seem to apply to everyone anymore. It is now criminal to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. If we really believed in those basic human rights, shouldn't we be helping people that are seeking them rather than hindering or criminalizing them and their families?

I am not pleased with the current politics of the USA, and I fear that the current ruling class will make it very difficult to swing the control back to something more moderate. I am also at a loss as to what an old, retired guy can do to help change things. I am especially displeased with the so-called Christian Nationalists that claim to have God telling them to do some very un-Godly things with their power.

I just don't know how to describe my feelings today.
I do know that I am not alone.
I think I am going to fly my flag today. 
I am going to celebrate the years that I have been proud to live in the USA.
I am going to celebrate the hope that I have that I will again be proud of living in the USA.
I am going to celebrate that I have a vote and a voice to change the representation of the demos in government.

I will grill some burgers today, 
We'll have some corn on the cob. 
We watched fireworks last night and I am sure that we will see some from the deck tonight.
It's a little weird that this year's Fourth of July seems more like a day of reflection and remembrance than a day of celebration. 
I just don't know what it means to be a citizen of the USA anymore.
Honestly, I'm kind of bummed out about that.

John

Wednesday Wisdom

 I hope everyone has a few people that are like medicine in their life.

John

July 1

The sun is poking through a mostly overcast sky in the Ozarks of SWMO. It looks like it will be another beautiful day in the Ozarks. Even under cloudy skies there is a serenity and solemn beauty that exists in the rural setting that I look out at as I enjoy my coffee each morning. I hope that I never take the privilege of early retirement for granted and that I will always appreciate the beauty and comfort of my home.

Happy Canada Day to my friends in the north!
Friday will be Independence Day here in the US. 
I guess July might not be a historically good month for Great Britain.

The calendar shows that we are beginning the second half of 2025. If you are actually counting days, the halfway point is noon on July 2nd. Maybe I should set some goals for the second half of the year. I feel like I am an underachiever. I think that most people would find my life incredibly boring. It is a little weird that I really don't do anything and yet I can't say that I am at all bored with life. Perhaps that is a part of the privilege of having the choice to do nothing.

I have gotten better about working earlier in the day as the summer intensifies. I feel like that is progress. I am a slow starter when it comes to doing things during the day. I can't really say how much I appreciate my quiet mornings on the deck. Alone with my coffee and Chromebook and the sounds of the birds that are gathering food and singing their songs is the best time of day and I tend to enjoy it for much longer than I really should.
I saw a pair of gold finches in the flowers this morning. I've seen them in the past, but it might be the first time this summer. 

I have some wind damage to clean up and just general yard maintenance to take care of today, so I'd better get to it. 

Have a wonderful July.

John

Scripture thoughts

Some time ago I said I was going to read through the gospels, looking specifically at the things that Jesus taught. I got started on that project, but like most things, it got set aside for reading that required less work and study. For whatever reason, I feel compelled to resume that work and continue where I left off.
Whether you are a follower of Jesus or not, the man Jesus taught us some pretty good stuff -- stuff you can live by and have a full and meaningful life.

Meditating on the words of Jesus is complicated for me. Knowing that the gospels were written many years after the death of Jesus concerns me. Because of the practice of teaching disciples by repetition, storytelling, and memorization it is possible that the quotes attributed to Jesus are accurate. Plus the message is consistent throughout the memories and writings of the different authors.
Perhaps it is my own experiences with men using scripture as a weapon to control others that concerns me. I am not convinced that today's religious leaders care about the eternal life of people as much as they care about attaining their loyalty and their money. 

Personally, I would like to be thought of as a good person. For some people, being a good Christian is a prerequisite for being a good person. I don't agree with that, but I am okay if that's the standard used to judge me because I wouldn't mind being thought of as a good Christian, as well.
You don't really get much say in what others think of you. And to be honest, it isn't a big deal. I know there are many that will see me as a heretic that left the church because I pushed back by questioning some un-Christlike policies. I'm okay with that, too. 

I would be sad to know that I had done something to cause somebody to hate me or to think I'm an asshole or really bad person. I am sure that I have done and said things that poorly represent the Jesus that I claim to follow. 
I'm still working on it. 

These are my thoughts on this Monday morning.
Have a wonderful week.

John

June 29: Day 180

It's difficult to believe that the year 2025 is almost half over. July 2nd is the 183rd day of the year, making noon of that day the halfway point. I can't say that I've accomplished anything significant in the first half of the year, nor do I have any great plans to achieve greatness of any kind in the second half of the year.
Unfortunately, I am happy to enjoy each day as it comes and I tend to enjoy the simplicity and beauty of the small world around me.

Although I truly have very few people encounters throughout the week, I did manage a few good conversations last week. Reflecting on how much I've changed over the past few decades is interesting. Going from Southern Baptist Evangelist and doing revivals and kid camps that were complete with altar calls and encouragement for repentance and surrender to the religion of Jesus is pretty far from the seldom going to church, anti-religion, to each their own, but still a Christ follower that I am now.

In my few conversations with people, I find that many are searching for a community in an otherwise chaotic world. A trusted community seems to be an elusive thing for many adults in the US. It may be so in other cultures, as well, but I think that the competitive way of life in the US has destroyed community as a culture here. We would rather get ahead of our neighbor as individuals than to help the community be better as a whole. We seem to be far more concerned with getting more for me than doing better for all of us. 

Even as I recognize this need for community in our culture, I am not likely to be the one that ushers in the changes necessary to bring about the cultural shift. Community building requires far more people skills than I have in my limited toolbox. Plus, many of the community seekers are from younger generations and have community needs that I am unaware of. 

Perhaps something like the new cell phone restrictions in Missouri schools will help change the culture from the head down, eyes on the screen behavior to actual face to face communication with peers and teachers. The restrictions may provide more than eliminating learning distractions. It may bring cultural changes to how and when we use certain technologies.

Have we replaced our community with technology?
Have we taken technology that could give us more free time and used it to give us more time to work harder to make more money, accumulate more power, and achieve a higher status?
Has social media replaced personal friendships and interactions?
I think that is true for many people.

Honestly, I don't have much of a community. 
And that's okay with me.
I am fine with going to the ballgame alone, or going to watch the fights by myself. My only real hobbies are reading and working in the yard -- both are things that I do solo. 
Maybe I need a community more than I think I do.

Tell me about your communities.
How do you cultivate mutually beneficial relationships with groups of people?
Is it something that is teachable or easy to replicate?
Is community a basic human need?
Are we better off as a species when we work together?
If so, how have we gotten so far away from building and being cooperative communities?

Those are my thoughts.
What are yours?

John

Wednesday Wisdom

 Definitely a worthwhile goal

Have a grand day!

John

Monday Motivation

No Meditation for this morning. I am out at the Ozark Starbucks using a gift card for my quad breve latte. I have an outdoor table that is in the shade which avoids the inside coffee shop chatter. 

Going out for coffee this morning is my method for getting an early start on the work portion of my day. I figure that I will take less time for coffee, I'm close to Lowes and can pick up some plants and mulch for my work, and then the work can begin. 

I noticed yesterday that the moon flowers were about to open, but then forgot to check them when we got home last night. This is what I saw this morning!

 

Seeing flowers bloom is good motivation for working in the garden!
Our gladiolas are close, so are the hibiscus. Dahlias are also budding and about to open.
Yeah, it's summer and life is good!

Some Monday morning coffee shop observations --
Although Starbucks has both a steady stream of customers that are using the drive-through, and a good number of people that order on the app and then just park and pick-up, there seems to be fewer people that use this as a meeting place than at other area coffee shops.

I like that the local shops get more of the morning meeting business. Personally, I think that may have as much to do with the ambiance as with the coffee or anything else. Starbucks has a pretty sterile kind of atmosphere. It seems more suited to the drive though or pick-up kind of traffic.

If I am going to take advantage of the cooler morning temperatures, I'd better get to it.
I hope that you find some flowers or pretty colors to brighten your day.

John

Summer!

Well, almost.
A little more than an hour past sunset in the Midwest the earth and sun will reach the summer solstice point for the northern hemisphere. That makes this the longest day (daylight) of the year. 

Summer is my season.
I'm not particularly outdoorsy, and I don't do anything special to celebrate or enjoy summer. Mostly I just sit on my butt and enjoy the warm, sunny days. It's weird that I enjoy being outdoors without really doing anything outdoorsy.

I won't lie -- sometimes mowing and caring for our yard and flower beds can be a pain in the arse, but I do love my quiet morning coffee or evening cigar while looking out at this view.

I'll be out watering and weed-eating in a little bit. I am going to try to get work finished in the mornings before it gets too hot. I'm not usually successful because I do enjoy my morning coffee and quiet time a bit too much. 
Enjoy the Summer Solstice.
Enjoy the summer season.

Here's an old favorite of mine to usher in summer.

John

A day at the ballpark

Yesterday I took in a rare day game of the Springfield Cardinals (the AA team for the St Louis Cardinals). Typically they only have day games on Sundays or an occasional weekday during May. The May day games are full of school kids that are on end of the school year field trips.
The mid-June day game caught me by surprise, but I managed my busy retirement schedule and made it to the game.
Buses of summer school kids and summer day camps were in attendance, as well as a couple of corporate groups that were taking an afternoon off from work. 

I had forgotten how shrill the screams and yells of middle school girls can be!
The kids definitely brought some life to the game. They danced and sang along to the popular songs they recognized in the players' walk-up music and they got very excited every time a Cardinal player hit a fly ball into the outfield.
A number of kids never really sat down, but were up and about and making good use of the opportunity to be more social than school might normally provide.

I also witnessed a couple of adult workers that provided such great care and compassion to a small group of both physically and mentally handicapped adults. The caregivers were definitely working and rarely had time to enjoy the game. They helped their charges by physically lifting some of them to their seats, making several trips helping them to the nearby restrooms, getting them food and drinks, and generally making sure they had an enjoyable day at the ballpark.
I was impressed by the genuine care that was shown. It was obvious that this was so much more than a job for these care givers.

Since I generally go to the games by myself and usually enter with a General Admission pass, I rarely stay in one place for the entire game. I was able to find a couple of different vantage points and switched seats or found comfortable places to stand and watch the game and the crowd.

A thought occurred to me during the game --
The Springfield team has several Latino players that I figure are here on visas of some kind. They are from Mexico, Venezuela, and Panama. Other minor league teams also have MLB hopefuls from other countries on their teams. 
I'm sure they have the monetary protection of the MLB to protect them from having their visas revoked and being deported, but I wonder how our current administration and Sec. Noem feel about this particular set of migrants that are taking our US jobs.

I didn't mean to go there when I started this post, but the effects of the corruption and bigotry of our current political system invades our everyday lives -- even as we go to ballgames or out to eat at a favorite Latino restaurant.

It's still early in the season (about midway) and there are plenty of games to go to. I've been to a few games each home stand and will likely continue that pattern. I enjoy my solo trips to the ballpark, but have also enjoyed seeing a few friends at a game. If you are in the area and are planning on going to a game, drop me a message and maybe we can connect at the ballpark. 

John

Wednesday Wisdom

 

Just another day ...

It looks like another beautiful day in the Ozarks of Southwest Missouri (SWMO).
Yesterday I started on a project that will take some time to finish -- weeding and mulching the front landscaped area. I suppose it could easily be finished in a day or two, but I have no desire to work that much at a time and prefer to use 2-3 hour workdays. That makes it a week-long project, even if I work at it every day.
And I probably won't.

I am excited that my moon flowers and hibiscus will be blooming soon. 
And I am super thrilled that our dwarf hydrangeas are flowering nicely this year.
I am not thrilled with how the Rugosa rose is spreading. I am going to have to do some serious pruning when it goes dormant this fall.


I don't typically do my own maintenance on things, but my mower needs some adjustments that I think I can handle. I replaced a couple of front wheel bearings on a mower last year. YouTube is a big help. Maybe I will learn to do more of that kind of stuff. It kind of sucks when the thing that poses the biggest obstacle to doing stuff is having to get this fat, old body down to the ground and then eventually having to get back up!
When did the ground get so damn far away?

That is pretty much my life these days -- work in the yard or garden until I get tired of it and then enjoy looking at my work while smoking a cigar and sipping on something cool and refreshing. I might read a book, listen to music, or just bask in the energy of nature.
I'll probably take in a baseball game tonight.

I know that many would be bored with my simple life, but it works well for me.
More nature; fewer people.

John

The Next Go 'round.

Having completed my 65th trip around the sun, today marks the beginning of trip #66 and my 23,741st day on planet earth.

I am wondering what the coming year holds for me. 

Truthfully, I am not one to overthink it. I typically let life happen and try to recognize and enjoy the moments as they come. Although today looks to be an overcast, drizzling, rainy type of day, I am going to enjoy my morning coffee on the deck, listen to the crowing rooster and the chatter of birds, and just look forward to another simple day in the life of John.

I'm not a big goal setter so I don't really have anything I want to accomplish in the next 365 days. 
Yeah, I know I need to lose some weight and get more exercise, but somehow that seems small and insignificant -- more like a daily thing than a yearly goal. I suppose that speaks to my whole attitude towards living the retired life -- it's more of a daily thing.

It might be that I need to approach it from the perspective of -- What habits do I need to make a part of my daily life?
Eating better (and less) and regular exercise are a given. I just need to work it into my daily routine.
I struggle a little about getting more people time. I typically enjoy myself when I am out with people; it's just never something that I plan on nor really look forward to. I don't really believe it is necessary to have more interaction with people, but I do often wonder if my preferred solitude is abnormal. 

I do need to learn a few things -- speaking Spanish, playing the ukulele, maybe doing a little magic again.
I'm thinking need to instead of want to might be the perspective more likely to get things done. I'm sure I'll figure it out -- one day at a time.

John